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Deciding to have a child and going it alone


Laurenzaaa

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Hi I am 32 and am single. I am not averse to being with a guy romantically but apart from casual relationships it hasn't happened. I'm getting to the stage now where I am thinking I want children. I had some investigations for endometriosis last year and although they found nothing, the fact that I could have had impaired fertility focused my mind. I have a good salary and a secure job with great maternity benefits. I am wondering whether to take the plunge and go through with IUI using a paid-for sperm donor.

Does anyone have any experience of doing this as a single person?

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Sapphire Rose

Not as a single person, no. However, my mother actually went through this to have me and my brother. It was a lot of time, patience, and hope she told me. She says it was entirely worth it, though. I think that if you have your heart set on kids and this is how you want to have them, then by all means you should do it.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Jetsun Milarepa

It's the most rewarding relationship I ever had! If you want a child, you have enough time and money to make them a good life, then go ahead!

My daughter is now 25, has a very happy and successful life and I bless the day I had her (even though it meant having to have a sexual relationship...).

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  • 3 weeks later...

I agree that if your in the position to provide for children, and you have a good support system already set up for yourself (family, friends, etc.) then you should go for it. It will be hard work but it will also be very rewarding (and I'm sure you're aware of both these things). I listen to a podcast called The Longest Shortest Time and they did an episode/interview with someone (not asexual that I can recall) who did this as well. You should give it a listen. http://longestshortesttime.com/episode-66-momming-it-solo/

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I'm new here but saw your post...I'm thinking of the same thing (I've just turned 31). I've set myself a 5 year goal to save $$ and make sure it really is what I want to do. Adoption is not easy/straightforward/common here and international adoption costs are so high I'd be looking at IUI by donor as well.

There's quite a few communities around 'single mother's by choice' but I haven't spotted any about asexuals.

I think if you have the time, money and most importantly support, do what is right for you.

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Miss_Star welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 Have fun and explore the forums.

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Betty Badinbed

I know two women who have gone it alone. Money / security seems to be key. Both did it successfully through IVF with a sperm donor.

One of these women was a New Zealander living in Melbourne with no other family there. She is now giving up her Australian life and moving back to NZ to be near parents and siblings - so that seems to be an important thing, when going solo. Family support / babysitting care - and for the child to know their grandparents.

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