What is your opinion on marriage?

[KendraPM]

I see marriage as legal protection in case of a break up, accident, death, or health concern. I'm all for it, although not necessarily for the all lovey-dovey reasons other people usually connect with marriage.

I work in health care, and having watched a co-worker deny a very sick patient's loved one access to them because they weren't family (despite that they had been together for 20+ years), I strongly believe that anyone who wants to get married, should be able to. I know that's not the norm, most people are compassionate enough to not go that far, but the fact that the loved one had no legal protection against being denied access to the patient and any say when it came to their care upset me.

There's also the fact that when someone passes away, their spouse has the most power when it comes to their possessions and will, well again, I think people should get married for that ability to have a say over what happens to your loved ones.

There's more, but the long and short of it is, I'm pro-marriage.

[skymessenger]

Mixed feelings. If you're close to another person and want to be a family, go for it. I'm against marriages that are for money, fame or some stupid reason. Especially if it hurts other people.

[Guest]

A completely outdated concept. The only justification for it I still see is as a religious rite for those part of an organized religious community - which I'm not. It's completely silly that I still have a "right to get married" after that.

Obviously, I also think it should be fully de-legalized and left solely to religions to decide who gets to marry and who doesn't. Keep the state out of that discussion entirely, and have secular law deal with civil unions/household registries instead (which should not be limited by sex/gender, number of participants, type of relationship, or anything else - whoever wants a civil union should get one, period).

[Sally]

Oh Mysticus mysticus mysticus -- just assume that what I said to you the last time this came up is the case this time, and I'll do the same for you. However, this time you simply must agree that I am right. Or at least that you are wrong.

[Guest]

Nope. :p

[Private]

I think marriage is a great idea.

However, had I realized in my 20s and 30s that I was a romantic asexual, I would have been more serious about finding a mate that was also not interested in sex.

To me the sex act seems primitive and pointless. I feel as if my body has transcended the need or desire for sex. This has definitely caused problems in my marriage.

[Guest]

Marriage is convenient for the legal benefits, if they are useful to you. Otherwise, I don't really see much point in it. *shrug* But, some people find it meaningful and religious people have spiritual meaning to it. To each their own.

I will say the DIVORCE procedure is overly complicated compared to the marriage one though. Currently have a stack of papers as thick as a finger tip I am reading through. Yuck. Why can't two people just say "Yep, we're done - no we aren't contesting anything, no need for you guys to get involved in our financial business"... without killing 3 trees for paper for it? :P

[Guest]

I will say the DIVORCE procedure is overly complicated compared to the marriage one though. Currently have a stack of papers as thick as a finger tip I am reading through. Yuck. Why can't two people just say "Yep, we're done - no we aren't contesting anything, no need for you guys to get involved in our financial business"... without killing 3 trees for paper for it? :P

Definitely agreed. Civil unions should be easy to get into, and almost as easy to (consensually) get out of again.

[Guest]

I will say the DIVORCE procedure is overly complicated compared to the marriage one though. Currently have a stack of papers as thick as a finger tip I am reading through. Yuck. Why can't two people just say "Yep, we're done - no we aren't contesting anything, no need for you guys to get involved in our financial business"... without killing 3 trees for paper for it? :P

Definitely agreed. Civil unions should be easy to get into, and almost as easy to (consensually) get out of again.

I get when it's contested, they need all sorts of info to make it "fair" on both parties. When there are no kids, no assets and no conflict though, yeah it should be way easier to get out of. :lol: Whatever you want to call it.

[Autumn Season]

I heard of some interesting divorce practices. In Japan a marriage is a civil contract which both participants can form and dissolve as they like without the state being involved. And if I remember correctly in countries with Muslim law the man can say a word (which means "I cast you out ") three times. That's about it. He can also do it per text message, but it has to be three separate texts. :P Hm... I wonder what it was like in the soviet union. It was probably also easy to get out of a marriage, at least from a legal point of view. Gotta ask. ... So apparently it was cheap and easy. And it Latvia (nowadays) there is a new law due to which you can file the divorce in a notary's office. No court, no counselors, not even the civil registry office involved.

[Ace of Amethysts]

I heard of some interesting divorce practices. In Japan a marriage is a civil contract which both participants can form and dissolve as they like without the state being involved. And if I remember correctly in countries with Muslim law the man can say a word (which means "I cast you out ") three times. That's about it. He can also do it per text message, but it has to be three separate texts. :P Hm... I wonder what it was like in the soviet union. It was probably also easy to get out of a marriage, at least from a legal point of view. Gotta ask. ... So apparently it was cheap and easy. And it Latvia (nowadays) there is a new law due to which you can file the divorce in a notary's office. No court, no counselors, not even the civil registry office involved.

I like the Japanese`s idea. :)

[SorryNotSorry]

Nope. Too muck risk, too little reward.

[Sally]

And if I remember correctly in countries with Muslim law the man can say a word (which means "I cast you out ") three times. That's about it.

But the woman can't.

[Elora]

Marriage is convenient for the legal benefits, if they are useful to you. Otherwise, I don't really see much point in it. *shrug* But, some people find it meaningful and religious people have spiritual meaning to it. To each their own.

I will say the DIVORCE procedure is overly complicated compared to the marriage one though. Currently have a stack of papers as thick as a finger tip I am reading through. Yuck. Why can't two people just say "Yep, we're done - no we aren't contesting anything, no need for you guys to get involved in our financial business"... without killing 3 trees for paper for it? :P

Get divorced in Ohio. It was quick and painless - fill out a bit of paperwork, wait 30-90 days (ours was just over 30), then go before a judge for less than five minutes to confirm that it's what you really want. Judge grants it, signs one page of the paperwork, and you get a letter in the mail a few days later with the official documents that it's legally done. It took me more time to decide to fill out the paperwork than it did to actually go through with it.

I can get behind the idea of lifetime companionship. And I can get behind legal protections for family. But I also kind of think it sucks that such protections are even needed at all.

For me personally, been there, done that. I'm not looking to get married again any time soon.

[damage_case]

I am absolutely against marriage... I am all for living together (not the trendy kind that starts off with 'trying it out' phase and lasts for a couple of years).

Marriage is a man made thing. Its not natural. Its a social norm. It does not guarantee commitment, nor does it guarantee respect in society.

I am an extreme person... when I love someone... its forever... theres no breaking away. I do believe that people need each other. When Im old/sick... I will need someone to support me/care for me.

Love is a beautiful thing. And I dont mean shagging in bed or valentine gifts. Im talking about hugging when a person is crying... smiling coz you made your partner's day etc.

If and when I respect/love someone... I wont leave them ever. Its forever. Even if it ends up with us banging each others heads against the wall... its forever.

[gaillimh]

I see marriage as legal protection in case of a break up, accident, death, or health concern. I'm all for it, although not necessarily for the all lovey-dovey reasons other people usually connect with marriage.

I work in health care, and having watched a co-worker deny a very sick patient's loved one access to them because they weren't family (despite that they had been together for 20+ years), I strongly believe that anyone who wants to get married, should be able to. I know that's not the norm, most people are compassionate enough to not go that far, but the fact that the loved one had no legal protection against being denied access to the patient and any say when it came to their care upset me.

There's also the fact that when someone passes away, their spouse has the most power when it comes to their possessions and will, well again, I think people should get married for that ability to have a say over what happens to your loved ones.

There's more, but the long and short of it is, I'm pro-marriage.

I think this is one of the main reasons people marry. The rights of partners differ from country to country but what irks me is the favored status married couples usually have.

You were partners for years ? Still you don't get any rights when the other one becomes sick/dies/other condition. A single parent without money support from the other parent ? You get the highest taxes and rather bleed out before you get any support.

In my eyes there is still a lot to do regarding the problems of equality. Marriage should be a promise and not a privilege.

[Velma]

I'm married, and aside from the sex stuff, it's the best! I heard once that they baked saltpeter bread in some mental institutions in the past to keep the patients from having orgies. It turned out to be an urban legend, but I was tempted to start looking up a few recipes for a bit to take the spice out of the relationship. Ahh well, a girl can dream.

[Stargazer365]

If two people in a loving relationship want to get married, I'm all for that. I have no problems with it for other people. Myself? I don't think so. I've never seen myself being married; can't even picture it. And a wedding? No way. If I did find myself ever getting married though, it would be through the Registrars office or Vegas. It would be just myself and who I was marrying. That was one thing I never understood while growing up. All my female friends were talking about their dream weddings and how they wanted to be proposed to. I never saw the big deal and never gave it a thought myself.

[Fllay]

It's a great idea... in theory, that is. In practice, I kinda doubt it. Maybe I'm just jaded from all the unhappy marriages I saw all these years. And I don't want to get married either, even if it's legal where I live (which is next to impossible). But if people want to get married, I have nothing against it.

[Velma]

I never did the wedding thing. Justice of the peace and our parents. Then we went out for dinner. I had the froufrou dress to make mom happy. Marriage is awesome. Weddings are for suckers. Think of all the phat loot you could buy yourself with all the money some people seen on all the things. There are 80 billion little overpriced knick-knacks that everyone says you just have to have. And the damned things are getting into the 5 figure range. That's down payment on a house money right there.

I'd be all for weddings if people didn't stray outside their means. I read this awful story about this poor woman who spent so much on her wedding that five years later, she and her soon to be ex-husband were still paying it off while going through their divorce. Maybe I'm too practical for my own good, but maybe the couple was getting a divorce because they thought spending five years paying off the expense of a one night party was a wise financial decision. Maybe it shows that they got so insane about the wedding, that they didn't take into account that the wedding is just the BEGINNING of the marriage. They treat it like the wedding is the entire marriage or something.

Anyway, about the marriage is just a piece of paper thing, I disagree. There's just this thing that I can't describe that gets added into the relationship. It's kind of like a team spirit thing. I don't get why, but people told me this would happen and I didn't believe them. But I did happen. Maybe it's just the freedom you get when you can walk around the house in old granny panties with the elastic popped out and a bathing suit top that's 3 sizes too small and say to my spouse Ha! I can do this because we're married now. There's no reason left to impress you, cause you're already stuck with me. There's no escape. Eat my black dress socks wearing with crocs right now!"

[m4rble]

I like fact that marriage allows you to become part of someone else's family. However, I don't like the fact that it comes with the expectation of sex.

[Sally]

Anyway, about the marriage is just a piece of paper thing, I disagree. There's just this thing that I can't describe that gets added into the relationship. It's kind of like a team spirit thing. I don't get why, but people told me this would happen and I didn't believe them. But I did happen.

Yup. When my marriage ended, I didn't miss the man, I missed the marriage.

[The Maple Leaf Forever]

I would love to get married with someone. Even with the prelevance of divorces, I really believe in trying to make a marriage work so I really want to marry my soulmate one day. :)

My thoughts exactly. I like the commitment that it (at least attempts to) make and the fact that by being married, you are clearly differentiated from couples who don't marry - people know you want to be together permanently, which is not always apparent if you have a "boy/girlfriend", not that life partners who have not gone through the official ceremony cannot make a lasting commitment.