augustbelle Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Hello everyone. I'd like to start by saying how lovely it is to have found this amazing corner of the internet. You all seem like awesome people and I'm glad to be discovering myself in a safe, inclusive environment!Ok, so here goes. I'm going to put all my thoughts out on the table in the hope that you will help me work through ~what I am~, or at least let me know if what I'm describing is asexual.I am a young woman. Heterosexual. I am in a long term relationship, we live together and co-own a business. I love him dearly. However I just don't like sex. The only instance I have sought out sex was when I felt he didn't want me, but I instantly regretted it. At times I feel like I wouldn't mind having sex, then as soon as it begins, or even half way through, I lose interest... sometimes even start crying. My partner and I have sex maybe once a month now, if that. For me it feels uncomfortable and unwanted. I never feel sexually attracted to him, or anyone else. I masturbate, I like softly choking myself. I only watch les porn. If I think about people I know, or try and fantasise during masturbation I get turned off. I get romantically attached to people I don't know, I spend a lot of my time in a fantasy world. However to think of them sexually makes me feel very uncomfortable. Seeing people without their clothes on irks me, at most I find it moderately interesting to look at someones body... much like watching an animal in the wild. I love love, I love romance... I'm so in love with the idea of being in love. All I think about is my dream partner and our lives together... but never sexually.There's a chance I'm falling out of love with my partner. Does this account for my lack of sexual interest? Sorry if this was an over share! P.S my partner knows I don't like sex.. so should I tell him I'm asexual? He LOVES sex, he's always ready to go. Ah! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 I can say that your experiences sound very similar to that of other asexuals around here. I can't straight out tell you, "You are asexual." Only you can choose what you identify as - it's not up to me to tell you what you are. But yes, what you are describing sounds like asexuality. Sexual interest, or desire, is different from attraction. You said that you never feel sexually attracted to him or anyone else, so I don't think that you falling out with him would account for it. Did you feel sexually attracted to him ever? Or anyone else? If not, then it definitely doesn't account for it. It sounds like you know this already, but romantic attraction can be separate from sexual attraction - you can be asexual but still romantic like me. You can also be aromantic, however. Whether or not you tell him that you're asexual is totally up to you. If you feel it would help, go for it. Welcome to AVEN, by the way! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gumby Jellybeans III Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 That sounds a lot like asexuality. If you feel that the term would help you to be more comfortable with yourself then it seems legit to use it. ^_^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Stranger Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 P.S my partner knows I don't like sex.. so should I tell him I'm asexual? He knows you don't like sex, so he knows you're asexual. I don't understand what more could you tell him. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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