Artnat Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 This is my first post. I have read a lot of definitions and the more I read the more confused I am getting. The thing is I am in my early 50's now. After a lifetime of sexual activity that was frankly nerve wracking I moved to a new city a few years back and am no longer pursuing anyone or even the slightest bit interested in doing so, and so I haven't. Fitting in doesn't really matter to me anymore. There is no sexual availability like there was in my previous city I lived in and guess what...I AM RELIEVED!! After self identifying as gay my whole life since about 2 years ago the impulse to have sex, feeling attraction to men in that heated sort of way just vanished. I can still admire the aesthetic but there's just no zing anymore. My doctor recently asked me if I was sexually active and I told her I wasn't and hadn't been for quite some time. She asked me if I was concerned about it and I said not in the least. Not feeling sexually attracted to men anymore is something has manifested some very positive outcomes for my life as I have formed several very close friendships with some straight married guys because there is zero attraction, whereas a few years back I don't think this would have been able to occur as I tended to feel rather self-conscious if there was any attraction- but now there just isn't any attraction period. George Clooney could come in the room and I would certainly appreciate that he is a handsome guy but that would be the end of it. I can't say that was always the case, but it sure is now . I identify as gay to those I meet if they happen to ask, though few people do, but the connections I have since moving to a new city with these guys I mentioned earlier I can only identify as 'human'. They are warm, personable, intelligent people who I can appreciate for their own sake. They are even physically affectionate in that I get a hug whenever I see them. It's great not to have things complicated with sex or sexuality. I 'forced' myself to try to fit into a sexual definition orientation for many years and it never really worked out and it caused me a lot of misery frankly. Anyway, the long and short of it is when I stopped trying to fit in and be like everyone else my life got a whole lot better which leads me to title of the post. I believe in the concept of fluid sexuality though I am wondering about how/and/if asexuality fits on that continuum. Can anyone else relate to this happening to them? Any posts or further reading you can suggest would be appreciated. Thanks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
volvoxcolony Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 This is my first post. I have read a lot of definitions and the more I read the more confused I am getting. The thing is I am in my early 50's now. After a lifetime of sexual activity that was frankly nerve wracking I moved to a new city a few years back and am no longer pursuing anyone or even the slightest bit interested in doing so, and so I haven't. Fitting in doesn't really matter to me anymore. There is no sexual availability like there was in my previous city I lived in and guess what...I AM RELIEVED!! After self identifying as gay my whole life since about 2 years ago the impulse to have sex, feeling attraction to men in that heated sort of way just vanished. I can still admire the aesthetic but there's just no zing anymore. My doctor recently asked me if I was sexually active and I told her I wasn't and hadn't been for quite some time. She asked me if I was concerned about it and I said not in the least. Not feeling sexually attracted to men anymore is something has manifested some very positive outcomes for my life as I have formed several very close friendships with some straight married guys because there is zero attraction, whereas a few years back I don't think this would have been able to occur as I tended to feel rather self-conscious if there was any attraction- but now there just isn't any attraction period. George Clooney could come in the room and I would certainly appreciate that he is a handsome guy but that would be the end of it. I can't say that was always the case, but it sure is now . I identify as gay to those I meet if they happen to ask, though few people do, but the connections I have since moving to a new city with these guys I mentioned earlier I can only identify as 'human'. They are warm, personable, intelligent people who I can appreciate for their own sake. They are even physically affectionate in that I get a hug whenever I see them. It's great not to have things complicated with sex or sexuality. I 'forced' myself to try to fit into a sexual definition orientation for many years and it never really worked out and it caused me a lot of misery frankly. Anyway, the long and short of it is when I stopped trying to fit in and be like everyone else my life got a whole lot better which leads me to title of the post. I believe in the concept of fluid sexuality though I am wondering about how/and/if asexuality fits on that continuum. Can anyone else relate to this happening to them? Any posts or further reading you can suggest would be appreciated. Thanks Hello and welcome. I don't feel qualified to give you advice, but I wanted to say hello from someone who's also in their 50s, and only discovered that they were ace in this later part of my life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 My heterosexuality and heteroromanticism died years ago. Only time I had experience those after it died is post-anesthesia. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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