Do you consider your aromanticism a curse or gift?

[Zerο]

Without a doubt, I'd say gift. In general, when it comes to people I've always felt that they (friends, partners, etc.) make things more interesting and fun, but they're not necessary. I've seen people do such irrational things for love and I'm truly grateful that I don't have that same urge to fill that part of my life.

This was made even more abundantly clear when I recently watched this documentary (?) on Netflix (titled "Love Me") on American men looking for mail order bridges in other countries. Really, it was more of an expensive (very) international dating service. I had a really hard time watching it all the way through, because the guys were so blinded by their desire for love that they missed some massive red flags in how some of the women were behaving. Even worse, some didn't actually learn their lesson through the ordeal and jumped right back in.

[andreas1033]

Yep, i agree people can be bonkers in socalled love. People generally are very selfish, and they mostly do not consider others, in there obsessions.

People are welcome to it.

I am glad i was asexual, life can be hard no matter what happens, but being alone is my natural state of being. Thats fine for me. It may not be fine for most, but its fine for me.

A good film that demonstrates what your talking about op, is

Birthday Girl (2001)

Sums up the dangers in what those people do, but so many jump right in. Glad i never bothered with anyone in real life, or online. I was glad i was asexual, even though life can be hard being alone.

I think being alone is the lesser of two evils in my life, and i am grateful that i was the type whom could live being alone, and not need human touching or to be with others.

[sophy38]

Of course, aromanticism is a gift to me.

[Guest]

A gift, definitely.

Since I'm just effectively aro due to medication, but originally romantic by nature, I know both sides from personal experience... and for me, personally, there's no doubt whatsoever which side has been the easier one to live on.

[binary suns]

It's just me. I guess, there are parts of it I enjoy, and parts of it that are frustrating.

[Lady Norgard]

Gift. I love my friends and have seen them and others do far too many stupid things for 'love'.

[Ace of Amethysts]

I`m going to be the odd one out so far and say probably closer to "curse" at the moment. I`d explain why, but I honestly don`t feel like it.

[chimaera]

.

[Kuebiko]

Gift.

As a person that favours logic and reason over irrational emotion, I definitely think that not having to deal with love and romance gives me a distinct advantage over romantic people and much less hassle in my life.

[Sisky]

100% gift. I prefer to be alone, I need to be alone, and romantic feelings would probably mess that up big time.

[Snao Cone]

A gift, mostly. Sometimes I do wish I wanted a partner and had the feelings to give then, but for very wrong reasons. I'm really glad I don't need to keep seeking love to attempt at happiness.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Well I've never known anything else but yeah, gift. Like asexuality, it's one less thing to worry about!

[Kalz]

For me, it is what it is; I view it as neither positive nor negative. It is certainly limiting when it comes to the realm of finding a partner; on the other hand I've watched romance drive people to do some pretty silly stuff, so I guess I can be thankful that I don't have to deal with it.

For what it's worth, I consider it to be much more limiting than my asexuality, which I view as a positive.

[Lord Stoneheart]

It definitely saves money!

[Slimer509]

I certainly see it as a gift. I remember back when I read Romeo and Juliet for school I was constantly thinking 'wow, I'm glad I won't ever come close to this.' Of course, that story is an extreme, but still, I'm glad I don't have to bother with it at all.

It can be pretty awkward when people ask me out, because they always seem to think it's a problem on their end instead of me just not being interested in anyone. But that doesn't happen very often at all.

[Freckled_penguin]

Generally, I consider it a gift. I mean, at least I'll never have to worry about wasting my limited budget on expensive dates/gifts. And of course, I won't have to deal with the emotional struggle that romantics face with breakups and bad relationships.

As for negatives, its definitely awkward when people get crushes on me because I have no idea how to handle it because I am literally unable to be interested back.

There are definitely positives and negatives to it, but oh well. :/

[Sleepy Skeleton]

It's a gift in the way that I know my feelings for people are deeper than lust or infatuation.

But it's a curse in the way that once people know I'm aro, it seems like they don't want to waste their time with me because I'm not interested in being anyone's arm candy.

[Mezzo Forte]

On paper, I'd say neither, but I guess for now, it could be read as more of a gift than a curse. Right now, I guess it just translates to more time for my music, but I'm also very private about my orientations and kinda appreciate that people just don't ask. We'll see how I feel about my orientations as I age and my disinterest risks becoming more visible.

[Elluna Hellen]

I certainly see it as a good thing. Less drama. And honestly? Crushes sound all kinds of distracting.

[Dodecahedron314]

Cons:

*Amatonormativity

*Romantic emotions are made out to be really pleasant, and sometimes I do honestly get kind of sad that I'll never feel that way (although really? See above)

*Amatonormativity, and also amatonormativity

Pros:

*Friendships are way more stable than romantic relationships

*Not having to worry about being single or "forever alone" as a negative thing, because honestly? Heck yeah, being forever alone!

*Not having to go through breakups, rejections, unrequited love, any of that

*No "I like this person but they're already dating someone, WHAT DO I DO" drama

*On Valentine's Day, all the chocolate is for ME

*Did I mention being single is awesome? Because being single is awesome.

Conclusion: pros >>> cons, therefore aromanticism is indeed a gift as far as I'm concerned.

[Miav-desu]

i feel its more a curse than a gift.

Being aro/allosexual i fell like the most invisible orientation, and it leave me in a akward possition of not truely belonging anywere. I sorta want close friendships and/or sexual ones, but I dont want to do "the trouble of finding the one and be in a relationship"

i lost a handfull friends because of it and general feel troubled with friendship because when I have a squish I want to be really close with them and I may/may not like them sexually or sensually but I just cant "be in a romantic relationship" and by the amatonormative norm Our friendship cant be of great value unless its romantic.

Pro: I can eat all the cake and chocolete myself, and use money on my own, and spend alot of time with friends and being a nerd.

[Chihiro]

I am grey-aromantic I guess. And being Aromantic is a gift. If I could be 100% Aromantic I would without a second thought!

[fuzzipueo]

Since I've never known anything different, it's just a piece of me, like being asexual. Neither a gift nor a curse. Probably helps too that I was pretty oblivious for the first 40 years of my life - who knows, eh? I just didn't pay attention to other people's relationship struggles/desires so they had little to no impact on me and thus I never felt left out or inadequate that way at least. In other ways? Yep. Just not in the romantic tangle department.

[idklena]

as a cupioromantic, i definitely feel like its a curse to me. ive only found out about my romantic orientation a few months ago and im still in the process of accepting it and i really struggle with it. in my view, the society we live in is not only an oversexualized one but also an overromanticized one. everything is always about romantic love. most popular songs (or at least those, which arent about partying) are about romantic relationships. there are barely any about platonic relationships, friendships or any other kind of relationship you can have with someone. we are constantly told that being in love and being loved in return (in a romantic way) is the best feeling there is and that that is what makes life worth living. its very frustrating to know you cannot experience that, especially since i really wish i could.

[Slayerin96]

Definitely a gift. I am capable of loving to a very intense degree, but by experiencing this feeling for what it really should be - it has nothing to do with those stupid chemical whims many people praise to the skies.

[Asvel]

Was a curse until I realised I was aromantic, and now it's a gift.

[poindexter]

Aromanticism aside, I'm really grateful for the fact I have a loving family and siblings, and a decent bunch of friends who are there when I need them. Without that, I think my aro/aceness would get stale pretty sharpish.

[MiniChelonia]

Gift, but maybe if wasn't also ace I would feel differently. Only negative is amatonormativity

[ChillaKilla]

It's a gift overall for me.

The only disadvantage is amatonormativity and having alloromanticism shoved in my face constantly, and people being assholes about it :/

[Skycaptain]

Definitely a gift. I surmise that it's easier to be aromantic and asexual rather than romantic and asexual. It certainly saves having to explain to a potential partner that you're all loved up, but don't want to make bedsprings squeak.