masturbation feedback loop TMI

[binary suns]

if i masturbate one day, I'm much more likely to be aroused and tempted to masturbate again the next day, no matter what i do, that somehow being in a heightened state of arousal one day will make it more likely I'm randomly aroused the next day.

on top of that if i masturbate and don't shower after or put on pants, the smell of it create a feedback loop that tells my brain to masturbate again.

and if I'm foolish enough to masturbate twice in one day, my bits are so sensitive that shifting my weight is simulating in this painful but arousing way. but i can't masturbate a third time because I'm too dry and sore to bear any touch

I'm happiest when I don't masturbate but when i live alone it's hard to do that. at least it's telling how living with someone decreases my libido no matter who it is :lol:

what I hate the most is that masturbating make me like the idea of sex and fools me into questioning my orientation.

oh oops this should be in the rant forum and these posts should be merged. sorry and thank you mod who fixes this for me

[levelskid]

Raises glass and cake. "Here, here."

[Sapphire Rose]

Libido is separate from sexual attraction. Example: I would never have sex with another person, but I get horny and masturbate because hell it feels good and it alleviates my boredom. Don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. Cheers friend

[Lost247365]

I think this thread needs a bit of a TMI warning...

Strange I am the opposite in some ways.

If I don't, ummmm, find release my sense of arousal (among other things) just builds and builds. Each day i go without scratching that itch, the more and more likely I am the next day. But the moment I do the deed it goes down for a little while.

Also, I am REALLY really grossed out by bodily fluids. When I do the act I always make sure there is no mess or anything to cause any smell.

Though, I only do it when I am having a really bad case of arousal, I also don't have any problem scratching that itch as much as three times a day.

[binary suns]

there is also a growing arousal if one exists. for me if that reaches a certain point by the end of the day, it'll come to a point soon that i have to deal with it. but if it's lower than that point, sleeping halfway resets it. usually i can just ignore it I forget it's even there.

[binary suns]

sorry lost I'm having a mood today and i have a hard time telling what's too much in these moods

[Asex]

what I hate the most is that masturbating make me like the idea of sex and fools me into questioning my orientation.

Well I have a thing for ethics/morality and here is something I want to tell you.

The way I feel about it is that people get born as a man, as a woman or as something different from a man or a woman, without anybody considering would that be fitting them, so it's not very consensual or voluntary.

What's more is that all these hormones and stuff, this neuro-physiologicalo-anatomical stuff that go along with gender- that's again involuntarily imposed on us, maybe some people, after considering would say "Yes, this is what's right for me, I want to be this way!" but maybe some people wish they didn't have all this anatomy and physiology.

And what is more- somewhere there might be a person who can not reach orgasm through masturbation and if that person has sex with another person for the purpose of getting relief from sexual arousal that interferes with their way of live or hinders/prevents them from having a normal way of living and interacting with other people, then you know what???

I wouldn't consider that person as an asexual even if they have sex a few times a day.

If I am not mistaken there is such provision in Law too, when someone is signing something against their own will.

So I am not going to violate AVEN's rules by telling you "you are" or "you aren't" asexual, I am just suggesting you do not rush to apologize or feel guilt/obligation to declare yourself as this or that because you have exactly the opposite- not an obligation but an excuse.

And as far as what you are thinking about while you are masturbating is concerned- I suppose there are things that are so unsexy* that if you think about them while you are masturbating you might never be able to finish.

I don't know what you are thinking about while you are masturbating but if it's sexual stuff then it might be so just for the purpose of ensuring your masturbation attempt is "successful" and you getting the relief from the arousal you mentioned.

So figuratively speaking I can't find you guilty of being sexual.

* - it doesn't need to be something sex-negative, it might be something that puts you in such a state that is not compatible with sexual experiences.

[m4rble]

I don't feel this way at all. I usually only masturbate a few times a month and I'm usually more inspired to do so to relieve stress than to cater to internal urges.

[scarletlatitude]

Merged the posts for you Teagan. :)

I notice this too. It seems to be a self-fulfilling prophesy of sorts.

[arthurh]

Wow I felt like I wrote this myself o.0

[binary suns]

The way I feel about it is that people get born as a man, as a woman or as something different from a man or a woman, without anybody considering would that be fitting them, so it's not very consensual or voluntary.

What's more is that all these hormones and stuff, this neuro-physiologicalo-anatomical stuff that go along with gender- that's again involuntarily imposed on us, maybe some people, after considering would say "Yes, this is what's right for me, I want to be this way!" but maybe some people wish they didn't have all this anatomy and physiology.

are you suggesting that a transgendered person's hormones determine their gender, attraction and identity? that is quite certainly false. their hormones are often a cause for gender dysphoria, and a large majority of people who transition report that hormone therapy - which adjusts these hormones - are the major turning point for their emotional comfort and validation in their gender.

as for the rest of your comments, the statement you quoted is one which I over-simplified for the purpose of poetic license. there is a specific audience who that statement is meant to address, and I can see from your response that you aren't part of that audience. if you wish to know what I mean, please take a step back and attempt to ask me a question regarding my experience instead of making accusations and assumptions about my personality experience and identity. no matter how much you cover that judgment up with pretend indifference and apology, it is antagonistic instigation pure and simple.

[njosnavelin]

I love the title of the topic. It is accurate on all accounts.

[Otakon]

If I stop for more than 4 days I think about it a lot less, but I become a lot more irritable and prone to mood swings.

[binary suns]

If I stop for more than 4 days I think about it a lot less, but I become a lot more irritable and prone to mood swings.

oh! this is an interesting observation. I wonder if it has been affecting me, and due to my plethora of mood swings, I never noticed.

:( dang now I'm gonna have to masturbate every four days until I'm well enough I'm not plagued by regular mood swings. Thanks <_< :P

no but seriously, rats. I don't like masturbating. slave to the body i guess...

[Ace of Amethysts]

Libido is separate from sexual attraction. Example: I would never have sex with another person, but I get horny and masturbate because hell it feels good and it alleviates my boredom. Don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. Cheers friend

Seconded. Hope you feel better soon Teagan :D

[Asex]

The way I feel about it is that people get born as a man, as a woman or as something different from a man or a woman, without anybody considering would that be fitting them, so it's not very consensual or voluntary.

What's more is that all these hormones and stuff, this neuro-physiologicalo-anatomical stuff that go along with gender- that's again involuntarily imposed on us, maybe some people, after considering would say "Yes, this is what's right for me, I want to be this way!" but maybe some people wish they didn't have all this anatomy and physiology.

"are you suggesting that a transgendered person's hormones determine their gender, attraction and identity?..."

Is that a question or a statement?

[Vixrotre]

I'm on my period and now I'm horny all the time. .-. Period is the only time when my arousal loops. Constantly. Kinda annoying because my hand has its limits, but orgasms are better.

[m4rble]

I'm on my period and now I'm horny all the time. .-. Period is the only time when my arousal loops. Constantly. Kinda annoying because my hand has its limits, but orgasms are better.

I'm on my period now too. I'm not horny in the slightest today though.

[Vixrotre]

I'm on my period and now I'm horny all the time. .-. Period is the only time when my arousal loops. Constantly. Kinda annoying because my hand has its limits, but orgasms are better.

I'm on my period now too. I'm not horny in the slightest today though.

I'm both jealous and sorry for you.

[m4rble]

I'm on my period and now I'm horny all the time. .-. Period is the only time when my arousal loops. Constantly. Kinda annoying because my hand has its limits, but orgasms are better.

I'm on my period now too. I'm not horny in the slightest today though.

I'm both jealous and sorry for you.

I think that pretty much sums up how a lot of sexual people feel about asexuality.

[Philip027]

Never experienced anything like this. Most likely as a result of being either nonlibidoist or at least rather close to it (I still have no definite clue of what to call myself here)

[levelskid]

My body is such a contradiction. Mentally, I don't want to actually to do it, but my libido is hard to reason with so I end up thinking "You're lucky this feels good and I have a good imagination."

[floopaloop]

I really feel this. I don't actually like masturbation, but if I do it once, my libido goes out of control for multiple days which ends up making me feel super uncomfortable. Bodies are annoying.

[Guest]

TMI

If I don't masturbate, I get continuously aroused until I literally have no choice but to orgasm, and arousal for me is annoying, frustrating, and uncomfortable so it's not fair I should have to be stuck with it. If I masturbate, I don't think about it or consider it again until I'm aroused again (generally that's about once a day, sometimes more sometimes less) ..I don't *choose* to be aroused either, it literally just happens on its own for no reason (like, I don't watch porn specifically so I can be aroused, I'll just be washing dishes or whatever and it'll happen)

I'm the total opposite of you Teagan. If I *don't* masturbate, then I just get more and more horny and my brain starts going all sorts of dodgy places and yeah.. when I do, that can keep arousal at bay for hours (a couple of days even sometimes). I've tried going without masturbation because it's a waste of time and I find it boring (literally the only point in masturbating for me is getting rid of arousal, like having to urinate but trying to hold it.. then eventually you *have* go to the loo.. you only go to the loo to get rid of the need to pee though, not because you want to if you had a choice or because you enjoy urinating.. that's how it feels for me anyway) but all going without masturbation did was cause me to experience continuous, annoying arousal, having to change panties regularly due to so much wetness, and not being able to concentrate for days on end due to the arousal. Stupid hormones lol.

[Asex]

The way I feel about it is that people get born as a man, as a woman or as something different from a man or a woman, without anybody considering would that be fitting them, so it's not very consensual or voluntary.

What's more is that all these hormones and stuff, this neuro-physiologicalo-anatomical stuff that go along with gender- that's again involuntarily imposed on us, maybe some people, after considering would say "Yes, this is what's right for me, I want to be this way!" but maybe some people wish they didn't have all this anatomy and physiology.

are you suggesting that a transgendered person's hormones determine their gender, attraction and identity? that is quite certainly false. their hormones are often a cause for gender dysphoria, and a large majority of people who transition report that hormone therapy - which adjusts these hormones - are the major turning point for their emotional comfort and validation in their gender.

as for the rest of your comments, the statement you quoted is one which I over-simplified for the purpose of poetic license. there is a specific audience who that statement is meant to address, and I can see from your response that you aren't part of that audience. if you wish to know what I mean, please take a step back and attempt to ask me a question regarding my experience instead of making accusations and assumptions about my personality experience and identity. no matter how much you cover that judgment up with pretend indifference and apology, it is antagonistic instigation pure and simple.

In my language we do not have a word that means precisely gender and my native term sometimes translates as sex, other times as gender, I used gender instead of sex, what I was referring to was intersex people and not transgender however that's not such a big deal because I clearly said "...is that people get born as a man, as a woman or as something different from a man or a woman..." so it's clear what I mean and "people born" includes people at the age of two minutes and what gender dysphoria is there going to be at that age...

So avoid over-simplifying my statements in the way you did it.

As far as accusations and assumptions go-I made no such things, I talked about hypothetical scenarios and hypothetical explanations with heave use of of things like "if" and "it might be so", I made no statements about you.

"...you cover that judgment up with pretend indifference and apology..." - I guess you join the club of people who are able to penetrate my mind, read my thoughts and conclude "Aha, a pretender/deceiver!"

"...it is antagonistic instigation pure and simple." You may perceive it this way, however presenting it this way is making statements about me.

[Asex]

"...for the purpose of ensuring your masturbation attempt is "successful" and you getting the relief from the arousal you mentioned..."

This should not be extrapolated and taken out of the context, I am not suggesting that someone who is masturbating for a purpose different than getting to culmination is doing it unsuccessfully/wrongly.

So that "masturbation attempt" can be substituted with "masturbation" and "is "successful"" with "reaches culmination".

...I guess I tried to be as unspecific as possible and went too far... you know, recently I got introduced to the notion that not all grass is green, when I was trying to substantiate some thesis of mine, so maybe it affected me.