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Am I asexual? I'm confused


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Hello. My name is Alkis and I'm confused...

All this time I thought I was gay cause I like men. I find them attractive. I tried having sex with men but I can't feel anything. I don't want sex, nothing sexual...

But I feel the need to masturbate everyday, watch gay porn (spend several hours on tumblr), and want a man to cuddle with, spend hours together... But I don't care not having sex for a year now...

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Sapphire Rose

The definition of asexuality is broad (hence why it's a spectrum) but at it's very core, it can be defined as the lack of desire for partnered sex. If you lack that desire completely, only get it in certain circumstances, or only with certain people, then I would say you fit on the asexuality spectrum. Like the above poster said, though, only you can truly interpret what your feelings and desires are.

Let me also drop this here: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Attraction

There are several types of attraction and it sounds like you have romantic and aesthetic attractions towards men. Again, I will state that only you can truly interpret you feelings. This is just what I see from my limited perspective.

Best of luck to you! :D :cake:

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Hiya,

All being asexual means is that you do not experience sexual attraction. Or to put that in a less confusing way (as the term sexual attraction is horribly misleading), all asexuality means is that you do not possess the potential to desire sex with others for it's own sake. That is it. If you feel like this describes you, then you are probably asexual.

That said, just because one is asexual does not mean that we don't experience OTHER attractions. Most notably an asexual can be aesthetically/emotionally/sensually/ or even romantically attracted to people. We just don't desire to have sex with other.

All that other stuff you mention is superfluous, but understandably can cause one who doesn't keep up with asexuality confusion. Not to promote one of my own threads but here is a list of activities that do not invalidate a person as an asexual.

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Asexuality is not a spectrum; sexuality in general, romanticism, and the Gray umbrella are.

People either desire sex (i.e. sexual) or they don't (asexual). That's it; anything else is irrelavent. Nothing you said discredits asexuality.

Do you just desire a cuddle partner or an actual romantic partner? Romantic orientation is seperate from sexual orientation. You may be homoromantic.

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