Questions for a Project

[Lmaohelpme]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

[Impala]

A)

The term asexuality popped up somewhere in my news feed on Facebook, I think, or on youtube. I googled it, found some more information and suddenly I realized that it described many of the thoughts I'd had for years. It suddenly made sense.

I had been thinking for years how it would be in the future, if I ever had a girlfriend, how I would ever have intercourse without actually thinking about the sex part. (I never voluntarily watched porn, nothing but a specific fetish has been what aroused me and what I masturbated to)

B)

I feel like other people are way too hyped about something that I don't really care about.

I suggest this post that I wrote some time ago, that makes it clear how I feel in this world

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/132235-sexual-attractiondesire-and-chess-an-analogy/

C)
That people think being asexual means nothing physical, no masturbation, no arousal, and most importantly no fetishes that can trigger arousal.

D)
An asexual person is someone who doesn't feel a need or desire to have sex with other people.

I wish you great luck with your project, hopefully you can educate more people and bring some more much needed awareness!

[Dreysander]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

- I've always known that I was different, it was only this year that I learned there was a word for it.

B) What's it like?

- I don't know any differently so I don't have a basis for comparison. It's like asking a straight man why he isn't attracted to men. Because he isn't. Aces aren't attracted to anybody.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

- That we're all weird loners.

D) Your description of asexuality.

- I've described it to people thusly: I view people's bodies as fleshy soul vehicles. Body does not matter to me at all.

[tuney]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I can't even remember when or where I first discovered the phrase. A few years ago. I remember stumbling across it, and at first I thought 'that's me'. Then, I read deeper and discovered that 'asexuals do not feel any attraction to others at all', and I put myself off the idea because I was in love and very much attracted to my husband. I now realise that what I was reading was more a description of aromantic asexuality and didn't fit with me as a romantic asexual, but at the time what I read convinced me I wasn't 'technically asexual'. I thought about it occasionally, but not a whole lot, and only properly realised I was asexual within the last week.

B) What's it like?

For me growing up, it was a combination of 'I'm not quite like other people' that came from not being interested in sex, fancying people for their personalities but never understanding the attraction to looks, and thinking that 'going on a date' would both be pointless and horrifically uncomfortable. For the past year or so, it's been a constant feeling of 'pressure' - no longer wanting to fake that I was enjoying sex for my sake, wishing I could avoid it altogether, not liking when my husband asked or hinted, making excuses all the time, but ultimately thinking that if I kept making the excuses I would eventually lose him because I was aware that what we were doing was not typical for married and deeply in love couples. Now that I've defined myself, it's an understanding of what I don't and won't understand. It's realising what the differences are but not being able to 'get' them, but more important it's a relief and has brought me and my husband closer together - he now understands why I'm not as into it all as he is and why I made excuses so often, and I understand what sex means to him and how we can enjoy it more on terms that suit us both, with me being open about what I want and what I don't rather than constantly feeling the pressure (from myself, not him) to do more than I'm happy or comfortable with.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

I'm fortunate that I haven't really come across any, yet.

D) Your description of asexuality.

Simply, I would put it as someone that doesn't want or need to have sex with others and does not feel sexually attracted to people. In my case, it's not wanting or needing to have sex, not finding people sexually attractive, but still forming romantic attachments, falling in love, being deeply connected, which is not the case for all.

[Baam]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

About half way through 2015, last year. This was my final year of high school. I was absolutely baffled that most of the people around me were feeling all these things that I absolutely just could not comprehend.

B) What's it like?

Normal. That's like asking a blind person what not being able to see is like. I don't know any different. Perhaps I've been a little oblivious in situations that other people wouldn't have. I can't tell what is and what isn't regarded as flirting, but that has more to do with my grey-romantisism. Apparently I've accidentally flirted with people before, oops.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

That 'we're just people who can't get laid'. Yeah, just like gay people are guys who can't pick up girls. -.-

D) Your description of asexuality.

I go by the book, simple someone who is sexually attracted to no sexes and/or genders. Or, someone who has no innate desire for partnered sex.

[WinterWanderer]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I realized I was asexual a little over 6 months ago.

B) What's it like?

It's very validating to know that there's a term for what I experience. I never felt like getting intimate with anyone, but I thought that the desire would turn up eventually. Until I realized, wait, maybe it won't, and that's okay.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

That asexuals have just given up on finding someone.

D) Your description of asexuality.

Having no desire to be intimate with another person (no sexual attraction).

[WinterWanderer]

I love reading everyone else's replies. "Fleshy soul vehicles" xD

[Anthracite_Impreza]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

During a biology lesson at about 15 years old. It was becoming pretty clear to everyone I was strange in the romance/sex department and one of my classmates joked I was asexual like an amoeba. When I got home I looked up the word to see if it was a real thing and lo and behold it was; went to school the next day and told them what I found and that was that.

B) What's it like?

Err, just like my life. I have nothing else to compare it with and I don't even acknowledge I'm any different unless the subject is brought up.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

That we must lead boring and sad lives/that we're missing out on this "essential" experience just because we have no desire to mate <_<

D) Your description of asexuality.

Having no one or thing you desire to have sex with (for the sake of having sex, as opposed to baby-making etc.).

[GothicPixi]

A) Well, I knew I wasn't straight, and after coming across the term of asexuality on tumblr and Instagram in, like, 2013, I just knew, because it explained everything.

B) It's great, knowing what my sexuality is, because I don't feel weird and broken anymore. What is it like being asexual? It's like being human (at least in my experience).
C) Asexuality is a disease, or always caused by a trauma or a breakup or a deficiency. Asexuality isn't real. Asexuals just can't get laid. All Asexuals are antisocial
D) What I tell people: I don't experience sexual attraction.

What I say in my head: Genitals are gross. People are gross. Sex is gross.

[Dreysander]

Genitals are weird. Just... weird. I cannot understand the logic behind sending someone a picture of your genitals.

"Oh look. It's a penis. Good?"

[Lost247365]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

• You know I actually have two answers to that question. As a little little kid in elementary school I always thought I was going to be asexual. I don't know why but I did. Of course, at that time I thought being asexual meant "no attractions to people what-so-ever." Once I hit 12-13 years of age I did start experiencing attractions to the girls in my school and thought that meant I couldn't be asexaul. Of course, these attractions I felt NEVER ever felt right to me. They were different from everyone else's.

  Then about 2-3 years ago I read that amazing series the huffington post had about asexuality, and it mentioned that asexual people could experience attractions and have a libido. Seeing that my eyes nearly popped out of my head. That described me perfectly! The only thing that kept me from IDing as an ace then and there was that the article was very unclear on exactly what "sexual attraction" was. Were the attractions I felt sexual? I just couldn't be sure.

  It took a lot of thought (a couple months of thought to be exact) on my part but the moment I came to the conclusion they meant sexual desire, and that I was asexual...well my orientation made sense for the first time ever. I had a word to describe myself and I wasn't broken. I now know that the attractions I feel are a mix of aesthetic attraction and wanting to be a girl myself (yeah, I am transgender though I didn't understand it at the time) and not sexual attraction.

• Confusing. Very very confusing.

  You feel attractions to people but it never feels right. Someone of the opposite sex comes up to you... and everything feels wrong and you push them away and you don't even know why. Society is always talking about sex and all you can think is "ewwww." Why would anyone ever want to do that? Whats wrong with me? Why am I so fucked up? I like girls, but not in that way...What the fuck is wrong with me?

• That I don't know what I am talking about. That, I don't know my own experiences. That everything I have felt and undergone is not real.

• The sexual orientation in which a Person lacks the potential to desire to have sex* with others (for its own sake) or simply lacks attraction to other people.

*everything following the bolded and underlined is for clarification sake. Sex requires another person by defintiion but If I don't add with others, for example, some might think I mean masturbation. Similarly some people mistake what a desire to have sex means. They might think that being willing to have sex because they want to have children counts as wanting to have sex when in fact it is not. That is wanting to have children, it is not wanting to have sex.

[Shovels]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I realized after I watched a videos on youtube and delved into research. Took me a while after doing this to come to terms with it.
B) What's it like?

It's like being me I just don't feel broken anymore. or if you mean my whole life. It's like Alice being in wonderland. Except I've taken up permanent residence in Wonderland and there is no going back to the normal world. It's just weird.
C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

Asexuals have no emotions, Asexuals can't love, Asexuals just need to get laid, Asexuals are sad and pitiable. Asexuals just can't get laid
D) Your description of asexuality.

Someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Simple no?

[Lmaohelpme]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

You know I actually have two answers to that question. As a little little kid in elementary school I always thought I was going to be asexual. I don't know why but I did. Of course, at that time I thought being asexual meant "no attractions to people what-so-ever." Once I hit 12-13 years of age I did start experiencing attractions to the girls in my school and thought that meant I couldn't be asexaul. Of course, these attractions I felt NEVER ever felt right to me. They were different from everyone else's.

Then about 2-3 years ago I read that amazing series the huffington post had about asexuality, and it mentioned that asexual people could experience attractions and have a libido. Seeing that my eyes nearly popped out of my head. That described me perfectly! The only thing that kept me from IDing as an ace then and there was that the article was very unclear on exactly what "sexual attraction" was. Were the attractions I felt sexual? I just couldn't be sure.

It took a lot of thought (a couple months of thought to be exact) on my part but the moment I came to the conclusion they meant sexual desire, and that I was asexual...well my orientation made sense for the first time ever. I had a word to describe myself and I wasn't broken. I now know that the attractions I feel are a mix of aesthetic attraction and wanting to be a girl myself (yeah, I am transgender though I didn't understand it at the time) and not sexual attraction.

That's so similar to me it's actually kinda creepy... (Though I'm not transgender)

[Truth and Lies]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

My freshman year of high school, I do believe. Either a friend mentioned it or I found it with the amazing Google. Something like that. Maybe. I think.

B) What's it like?

A relief. I never felt broken, though. Really, I just noticed in passing that I didn't experience any attraction to any of my peers. It didn't bother me. I live vicariously through the romantic endeavors of characters in books and shows, anyways. 8) But being able to give my feelings and experiences (or lack thereof) a name is wonderful.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

Being told that we just need to get laid or find the "right one."

D) Your description of asexuality.

A person who does not experience sexual attraction towards others. Plain and simple.

[The A+ Student]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

A - I have no idea to tell the truth. I always knew I wasn't interested in sex, but for a long time I chalked it up to age/not dating anyone. When I first heard of asexuality in college, I had a few fleeting thoughts that it applied to me, but I didn't know enough about it at the time to really identify. And I was still in the midst of rejecting the default heterosexual identity I'd had forever. But a couple of months ago I really started to be confused about whether I had a crush on this girl or not (I'd never felt so strongly before) and whether this made me a lesbian or if it was just unusually intense platonic attachment. While reading every relevant article I could find, I came across AVEN and was able to determine that for sure I am asexual and perhaps aromantic too (I'm still confused what romantic attraction even is haha).

B - Uh, it's like not wanting sex. I don't know how else to explain it. I find my potential aromanticism to affect my life more than my asexuality does.

C - That asexuals don't like touching others aka. are all asensual. This is the primary reason I was confused for so long. I didn't realize I could be asexual and still want to cuddle, kiss, etc. sometimes in very physically intimate ways.

D - Asexuality is the long term lack of a desire to have sex for its own sake. So an asexual could want sex in order to please a partner or to have a child or out of curiosity or another external reason. And an allosexual could desire sex for its own sake but does not have a suitable partner they want to experience it with (or another external reason to not want sex). At least this is how I experience it. I'm sure there's someone who will find holes in this definition though.

I hope my answers help you with your project! ^_^

[Archived]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

A) I realized I didn't like (so aromantic at the time) anyone in the 2nd grade--I was 7 years old. I knew that was "abnormal", because my friends would ask me who I liked & I'd say no one & they'd react somewhat weirdly to that. I found out about the word asexual--in terms of sexuality--November of 2014. I was 13 & in the 8th grade. I'd say my friends wouldn't declare themselves asexual. To a degree, they're interested in having sex with someone else. I'm not.

B) Not too bad. I'm lucky to have understanding friends & family. There are some acquaintances who just don't really get it, but they're still nice people. I don't talk about me being asexual that much. I'm the "joker type" & I mostly joke about myself, so I incorporate my sexuality in that. I'm young too & a lot people seem to think I'll change. I might, I don't know, sexuality is a fluid, but it makes me uncomfortable that they say things like that, as if I'm not even asexual to begin with.

C) That it's not a thing. No one says it to my face, but they imply it, like "How can you not like sex?" Excuse me, last I checked, you are 14 years old too, so please slow that train down. I've gotten "I think you'll change, yeah, I don't know if--I think you'll change." Not much to do about it I guess, goin' with the flow but staying fresh.

D) Someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction. You just don't get excited about someone else like that. You can have a libido. You can have sex. You can like other people romantically, intellectually, platonically, aesthetically, & such. You can like sex, but it's just "that certain person" doesn't quite get you going.

[spideycat]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

A) I think I realized it in increments throughout my childhood and teen years, but I didn't accept it until I was maybe 19 or so.

B) For a long time I felt like there was something wrong with me. I really, really didn't want to be ace, so I told myself for a while that I was demisexual and just hadn't met anyone I liked that much yet. I now am okay with being ace (mostly) and with telling people I trust that I'm ace, but I still feel this need to pretend to be normal/sexual sometimes, which I think comes out of my desire to be in a relationship/not be alone and this fear that no one will want to date me if I let them know I'm not sexually drawn to them and don't want to have sex with them. I think the worst part is seeing this omnipresent message in the media and culture that everyone feels sexual desire and everyone wants sex in a relationship. For years that made me feel very alone, anxious, and broken.

C) This isn't a stereotype, more of an assumption: I don't like that many people assume asexuality always goes hand-in-hand with aromanticism. They're different, and being one doesn't necessarily mean you're also the other.

D) Not feeling sexual attraction to anyone.

[babybluesnowpants]

A) I realized I was ace (and queer for that matter) about a year ago. Being a teen, I realized how alien I felt when everybody was talking about relationships and sex. I was out of the loop.

B) It's pretty usual. Just, I don't look at someone and think "I'd like to have sex with them".

Sometimes it's strange being in such a highly sexualized society, not feeling much of the ~sexy things~.

C) My least favourite stereotype about asexuality is that we're are shy shut-ins. Sure... I may be a shut-in, but I'm certainly not shy. No, no, no, no, no. I'm a loud theatre kid that sings Queen at the drop of a hat.

D) My definition of asexuality, may differ from others' definitions. Simply, asexuality (to me) is the lack of sexual attraction. Nothing to do with sex-drive or libido.

[Lost247365]

That's so similar to me it's actually kinda creepy... (Though I'm not transgender)

I have heard stories of others who had kind of an intuition about their orientation before puberty.

I have a feeling there a lot of lurkers who had this experience as well.

I dare you to decipher this. (a:k)

Myxpecsyx drkd xofob cdyzc

Dro mvycsxq gkvvc kxn dro dsmusxq mvymuc

Hzkn lq plag pgww pa xsvffg.

confusion that never stops

the closing walls and the ticking clocks

xpad bg fbqw fwmm fq nilvvw.

[Rainbow~Sprinkles]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I realised when I was in my teens that I didn't want to have sex and wondered what my future relationships would be like without it. It wasn't until I got to university and everyone was seeking a relationship or casual sex and I began to be asked out by guys, that I decided to try having a relationship. Most of the relationships ended quickly when I wasn't physically interested. I realise now that all those feelings were platonic not romantic. It wasn't until I had my first relationship with romantic feelings that I realised that something was wrong. Despite my feelings for him, I still didn't want to touch him or have sex with him. Everytime I tried to think about it I either laughed or found it repulsive. He often tried to touch me and when he did, the feelings I had would instantly vanish. After we broke up, I was explaining this to my mum and she suggested that I might be asexual and to google "AVEN". When I found AVEN and realised that I identified with most of the feelings/experiences expressed on here, I felt like I had found my second family. I couldn't believe that there were people who thought and felt the same about sex that I do. I thought I was just strange o.O

B) What's it like?

Sometimes I go back and forth between thinking that asexuality is a legitimate orientation and other times thinking that something else has caused it that needs fixing. Sometimes I almost convince myself that I am normal but then I hang around sexual people and I know for certain that I am not like them. Its hard, because on the one hand I would like to have a relationship in the future, I know that I will probably have to be with a sexual person. And right now I don't think I'm ready to have sex. I know that I would need a good solid relationship to even consider it and right now when I'm in the middle of my 20's and everyone's in a rush to experiment, I'm struggling to find people who would be willing to wait with me and build the foundations.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

I hate to say it but there are some parts of Sherlock Holmes that I don't like - like how he's too intelligent to worry about having a relationship. It kind of gives the impression that asexual's think they are better than others or even prudish. I love Sherlock Holmes a lot and I think its a great TV series, but I worry that's how people perceive that kind of behaviour, attitude or thinking in asexuals.

I love how in Doctor Who he has a close friendship with all the companions and each time, the dynamics of their relationship is different and it shows a new side to the Doctor.

D) Your description of asexuality.

Asexuals are people who don't connect with people sexually. The usually don't experience sexual attraction or the intrinsic desire to have sex. They can still have sexual relationships but they usually aren't able to experience the same connection as their sexual partner. They prioritise other relationships such as romantic relationships and platonic relationships such as friendships and family.

• Like This

[deltaX]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I figured it out during the spring semester of my sophomore year of college, when I was 19. I had just gotten out of my first romantic relationship, and I was starting to question why I couldn't love my ex in the same ways that he loved me. I didn't know about aromanticism or asexuality at the time, but the fact that I was questioning meant that when I saw asexuality casually mentioned online, I was curious enough to look it up.

B) What's it like?

Being asexual? It's pretty cool. Mostly my life hasn't changed too much after discovering asexuality, besides the fact that knowing there are others like me gave me a lot of confidence. I'll feel a bit isolated and left out when my peers discuss sexuality sand I can't relate, but communities like AVEN have taught me I'm not alone, and that's really helped with feeling less isolated.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

That asexuality doesn't exist, and that asexuals are just "special snowflake" types making up a label to get attention. In my case at least, that couldn't be further from the truth!!

D) Your description of asexuality.

I define asexuality as a lack of sexual attraction and/or a lack of desire for partnered sex.

[SkyWorld]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I've identifies as ace for about a year now. I was 17 and now I'm 18.

B) What's it like?

Honestly, I was a bit confused at first because unlike a lot of people, I never really felt like I was broken. I thought that everyone else was just pretending or something. To think that I'm actually part of the minority of the minority and not the majority has flipped my world upside-down and it was hard to take in.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

That asexuality is made up and people are just saying that they're asexual to make themselves "better" than someone else. <_< I don't really have the patience for such ignorance, honestly.

D) Your description of asexuality.

Lack of sexual attraction and/or lack of desire for partnered sex.

[Blue Phoenix Ace]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

About seven months ago at the ripe age of 37, I realized I was ace after doing some research here on AVEN.

B) What's it like?

I was very much relieved to find a community here and understand why I felt so differently than most about sex and relationships. I have felt a lot more confident about my life choices now that I know there are others like me. On the other hand, I feel like there's this weird barrier between me and the people in my life in that we are very different in this way.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

Not sure yet. I'm not out publicly, only to one friend. I guess the "you'll meet someone that will change your mind" thing he told me was annoying. It's kind of a stereotype in that it invalidates the asexual orientation. So, "asexuality isn't real" I suppose is my least favorite.

D) Your description of asexuality.

The lack of innate desire for partnered sex. This is the most concise definition I've seen that is easiest to understand. You can find plenty of threads about the definition in the AVEN forums, most notably at the top of the census subforum.

[Peachyy]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I don't know. It is what it is and it was too easy for me to accept the definition so I think I had subconsciously known for a long time.

B) What's it like?

It is what it is.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

Well, probably the assumption that asexuals (and aromantics, it applies) are saying we are so that we don't look pathetic/ an excuse. I know many people who hear me talk about my aro-ness regurgitate the same rebuttal that I'm only "aromantic" because I'm just not trying hard enough, or that I want an excuse for not having found someone (I have found many people). Because it's very common for people to feel embarrassed or ashamed when people aren't sexually or romantically attracted to them. Some people look at an "asexual" or "aromantic" and jump to the conclusion that these people must want an excuse. It goes further when a non-ace isn't sexually attracted to an ace and then because they don't find this other person attractive, they point out that they're just saying that because no one would have sex with them anyway <-- I've heard it been said. And when a non-ace is sexually attracted to an ace, they point out that they must have low self esteem and think that no one finds them attractive.. Maybe it's from the same mind that thinks a heavy person can't really be happy with their weight/appearance, but just says so because they haven't been able to be thin. So: the collective bullshit idea that an asexual a) doesn't feel we deserve happiness, or b) is the band geek who secretly wants to go to prom with the quarterback, but because the quarterback won't date us, we poke fun at his and his cheerleader girlfriend's intelligence while secretly wishing we could be them in a secretive-secret manner.

D) Your description of asexuality.

The lack of real-time desire to actively have sex with another person caused by attraction of the sexual nature ^?_{? qué?}何? ^vad?какие_{? ^{I am still undecided}}

[Lyn Lyn]

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

I noticed I was asexual when my ex bf started to calling me "rock". I also felt a little bit awkward about the sex theme and then I found out about asexuality. I didn't want to believe it but it was so obvious... then I remebered things that happened to me in the past and I was like: how didn't I notice it before? It is clear now. I don't feel anything and that's fine.

B) What's it like?

I was thinking that I was somehow broken. That I was not normal and there was clearly something wrong with me. When I finally accepted it, everything went better. It's a relief knowing I'm asexual.

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

Are you asexual? Are you sure? May be you haven't found the appropiate person yet.

PLEASE. It drives me crazy hearing this. I don't have sexual desire, I have never felt it, what makes anyone think that it is going to happen? If I haven't felt it for people that I loved, why would I feel it suddenly for other people? It's no sense

D) Your description of asexuality.

I define myself as asexual because I feel no sexual attraction for other people, neither women or men. I don't feel the need of having sex or whatever. In fact, sex is the last thing I would think when I talk about relationships. I am also heterromantic because I have had crushes, or squishes or whatever it's called, but I didn't have the feeling to do something about it. It was more admiration than love, so I think I might be gray romantic. I only tried to do something about my feelings once.

I'm fine about not feeling any sexual desire and I'm fine being asexual. It's a relief I don't have to pretend being someone that I'm not only because it is not the common thing to be.

[Bbauthor2]

The questions I'm going to ask have (very, very likely) been asked before...

A) When did you realize you were ace/demi/grey?

B) What's it like?

C) What's your least favourite stereotype?

D) Your description of asexuality.

A) I realized I was Demi when I was 18 after researching the term "asexual" I had come across in a story. The more I read, the more things clicked and then when I found out about demisexuality it all just fell into place.

B) My life hasn't changed much since I figured it out. I mean, being Demi is not a 100%-of-all-your-time-and-attention-focused-on-it kind of thing. It's just a part of your personality. I mean, it's gotten easier because I'm not worrying about why I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. But that's about all that's changed. (Besides the amount of time I spend on AVEN, obviously).

C) My least favorite stereotype is the belief that I am just being picky or being a "good" girl (as in not being a slut). Because I'm Demi most people think it's me just putting on a label to make myself feel special- which isn't true. One night stands aren't really an option for me since I don't feel that attraction until after I met the person and developed a close bond with them. I'm not waiting because I want to- I'm waiting because biologically, I HAVE to. There's a huge difference, and most people don't recognize that. (At least, in my experience).

D) Asexuality to me as a whole is an umbrella term- there are aces, but there are also aros and Demi's and grey-as and other orientations that fall in the category as well. (I would list them all, or try to anyway, but I don't have enough room... sorry) it's about forming relationships based in something other than sex- or love if you're aro- and nothing more or less. It's not about how often someone wants sex or what way they like it or WHO they like or why. It's about intimate relationships coming first before the physical aspect of intimacy. If that makes sense.

Asexuality to me (or Demi, since I identify that way) is basically falling in love with someone based on who they are, not how hot they are or what I feel "down there" for them. The spark that starts the fireworks, to use a cliche, comes from trust and understanding and emotional connection, not sexual attraction. I have to already be intimate with someone before wanting to get physical with them. That's how it works for me, anyway.