Jump to content

Is losing your virginity solely based on curiosity really such a bad thing?


Wonderment

Recommended Posts

Go for it :D Just be safe and remember you can say "Stop" at any time you want if you freak out. Love and lust are just a bunch of chemistry and hormones, so ignore people who say sex is not real sex if you're not in love/married and all of that. Sex is just sex. Nothing that special about it, really.

Link to post
Share on other sites
ambivalent4422

i did this and got bored halfway thru, which i felt wasn't really fair to my partner.

if you walk to split hairs, i'm not strictly asexual, i'm just not attracted to shallow lays.

sex with love or genuine passion is probably better, but i couldn't say for sure.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally I don't think it's a bad thing. I lost my virginity partly for the same reason. I was curious and I guess I'd just had enough of being a virgin. It had never really bothered me before but as I hit my mid-20's, I suddenly started wanting my virginity gone. I expected to find that sex was no big deal (for me, it isn't) and I felt like having the first time behind me would make me a whole lot more relaxed about the whole thing.

It wasn't too difficult to find a willing partner. I got talking to a nice guy online. He made me laugh and had no expectations of anything serious and he was experienced, which was a must for me as I was clueless and he didn't mind whether we actually succeeded or not (I told him I couldn't promise we would) or how good it was. I'm grey ace and I do enjoy sexual activities other than penetrative sex so the first few times he came over, we just did other things and we clicked really well. I don't get the same pleasure from things as sexuals do, there's never a great desire, but it all felt good and I liked making him feel good as well.

When we actually had sex, it was at my request and physically, it was rather difficult. For no medical reason that I can discover and I have had all the tests, penetrative sex is always painful to me and I don't like it all. I've starting thinking there's nothing wrong and my body just doesn't like the sensation and I don't desire sex enough to try and train myself to like it. So losing my virginity hurt. But the guy was wonderful and did everything I asked for to make the experience as quick (I can only tolerate it for a few minutes) and as easy as possible. We actually had sex again the next day and two or three more times in all before we called time on our little relationship, which was never intended to be serious.

Emotionally, I enjoyed the feeling of making a connection with him and it did feel like a weight had been lifted as I was no longer a virgin. We stayed in touch for a while as friends but finally lost contact. I don't regret the decision I took to lose my virginity or how it happened. But I've come to the conclusion that penetrative sex is not really for me. Hence, I happily consider myself grey. I might revisit it when I am in a stable relationship but only if my partner wanted to. Otherwise I can't see me trying again anytime soon.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Late to this thread, but this is entirely a valid reason to have sex. Once, twice, ten times - as long as you're genuinely curious about some aspect of sex, it's reasonable to try. I mean, provided it's safe and mutually consented with a reasonably clear understanding of expectations.

As others have said, virginity is arbitrary. Your personal attitude and definitions are all that matters. I really wanted to not be a virgin, so I had sex because of that. It didn't really change me, but I'm glad I did it...though I'm not really proud of the circumstances :unsure:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

I really wanted to not be a virgin, so I had sex because of that. It didn't really change me, but I'm glad I did it...though I'm not really proud of the circumstances :unsure:

I never understood this idea either. I heard alot of people saying it in highschool, but it never made sense to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...