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AlwaysADreamer

Many people assume that I'm gay. I've had the "Oh don't worry, you'll find someone!" reaction, so I think some people believe I just say that I'm ace because I'm single.

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People generally seem to assume I'm heterosexual because I'm not outwardly anything else and that's presumed the default state of being human. I'm lucky I don't get a lot of direct questions about dating or relationships or whatever, but they sneak in every now and then.

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Sexual people will assume you're sexual, it's just a default because the majority is. It's annoying, but it'll probably happen a lot. Even more annoying is how every single friend is considered a romantic partner by some people... seriously, why can't I just like talking to / hanging out with someone ?

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I generally have good reactions and am out to a lot of people. The one time I've really been misunderstood is when my ex told our housemate about my being asexual and then I talked to him about it as well and yet somehow many months later after he'd moved out our mutual friend approaches my ex and says "Why doesn't Dave want to tell me he's bisexual?"

It absolutely blew my mind. I couldn't fathom it. I'd even talked to him about my meets so it can only mean that he thought that I put on meets for bisexual people. Why would you even bother?

Even so I am not offended by any of this. If anything I find it really funny.

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I think a lot of people think that I am a closet homosexual, when they have heard I'm a 19 year old female who has never had a boyfriend or shown any interest in boys/relationships because you know if you don't like boys you MUST like girls instead!

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Asexual Penguin

I get this a lot. I have a friend who's hypersexual, and every time I mention to them a time when I met up with a female friend or I say that a female friend of mine is 'nice' or 'sweet' or anything even vaguely complimentary, their reaction is to ask if I: have had sex with them, am currently having sex with them, or would like to have sex with them. I know that I do tend to have closer friendships with women than men, but I always get baffled when this becomes interpreted as sexual interest.

What's more, I always wonder if people don't realise that I show no interest in sex. Whenever people ask me if I'm sleeping with anyone or had any one night stands or if there are people I'm attracted to, or anything else along those lines, I always give the answer 'no'. The more visible side of asexuality, and it still goes unnoticed.

People are also very conscious of the fact I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time (friends, family, acquaintances, they all know it) - not since school, and even then, it was not, to be honest, a serious relationship of any sort. Some people have wondered before if I'm a closet homosexual as a result of it. Others, I wonder sometimes if they have actually had an inkling, just haven't said anything.

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A large percentage of teens in my neighborhood likely assume I'm a closeted lesbian due to how I dress and act (yay for stereotypes).

Which could not be farther from the truth since I don't really identify as female and I'm far more aesthetically attracted to men than women.

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anodyneinsect

I've had a similar experience to Tyrant in which people assume I am Lesbian due to stereotypes.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Some people are incredibly oblivious and/or have their heads in the sand. No one seems to know what to make of me as I look all young and innocent (lol, no) and I don't ever talk about partners/relationships/attractiveness. I've been asked whether I'm gay, bi, zoo, necro, mecha... Yep, I've had it all :rolleyes:

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Yep.

Its why i never read any history books on anyone. I know what its like to have people endlessly make up rubbish about me, that is not me.

So its why i never read any books on people, as i know gossip is basically just bull.

My life was targeted in a very public way, and everything made up was bull. People just assume your this and that because your male. I do not identify with whats male and never have.

So yes, but i do not care, as i have nout to do with any of them. Most people cannot get beyond there sex obsessed brains, to wonder if people exist that do not want it, and never have.

Like i said before, as a male, i have not let any females that like me near me since i was 23 or so back in 1998. Staying a virgin as a male, is something most cannot fathom, and they cannot understand it seems that you can go through life never being interested in it.

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I've had experiences from two sides of this debate. On one side is my family who had learnt of asexuality before me, but never told me. This is why they never mentioned the fact that I had never had a partner of any gender.

By the same token I've also had, " no female partner you must be gay" conveniently ignoring the lack of male partners

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I'm not out to my family, though I am out to a few close friends. Generally, people think I am more concerned about schoolwork than I am about relationships. They also think I am rather picky about who I would like to be with. Both of those assumptions are quite true, so I don't think they suspect any other reason, like I just don't get sexiness.

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People have assumed that I'm a lesbian, stupid, a male, helpless, atheist or a great number of things. I can't be bothered to change their minds, because I'm lazy and tired of repeating the same thing to different people. I let them assume whatever they want. If their assumptions get in the way of me completing my own work or projects, then it becomes an issue. If I'm interested in a relationship with that person or if someone bothers to ask (basically), professional or "friend", then I'll correct their assumptions. If they still hold their perceptions of me, then I can easily write them off and move to my next project. I don't have the motivation or time to continually bother with trying to change people's opinions/perceptions about me.

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I'm lucky to have never really gotten labeled. Most people think I just haven't found the right one. I'm fine with that. The only thing that bugs me is that I'm constantly asked by strangers if I have kids. Maybe it's just something that gets asked of women all the time, but it irritates me. Just because I'm female, don't automatically assume I've reproduced. I'm polite in answering "no," but in my head I'm screaming "F*ck no!"

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blanket burrito

I'm sure they do, but I rarely hear about it. I assume that every stranger I meet assumes I'm straight. My family definitely does. A few friends think I'm straight, but some of them might be unsure (they've asked a few questions, but I didn't give very helpful answers).

To be fair, I can be very ambiguous and dodgy about my sexual and romantic orientations, haha. I wouldn't blame people for just making an assumption, since they're likely not going to get an answer out of me.

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UncommonNonsense

I live in a small town in a fairly rural area. My town is unusually accepting of LGBT+ people, but the larger area isn't really... We also have a lot of Mennonites in the area, and they're a strict and *intensely* conservative religious group (who generally won't even use electricity, so that kind of gives you the general idea). So while I feel pretty ok with being an out ace in my own town, I'm a lot less open about it other places.

Back in HS people assumed I was a lesbian. To be fair, the only options we were told about in sex ed were gay and straight.... And I most assuredly didn't fit the stereotype of a straight girl. This continued when I went to university and when I returned to my hometown to begin a career.

Now, the only people who assume that are people who don't know what asexuality is.

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mustardblood

People never stop thinking im gay. I am not really sure why.

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Rainbow~Sprinkles

My Dad has always asked me if I'm gay so I tricked him one day and said I was taking my "very close female friend" to the formal. His reaction was priceless :p

One time though at university, there was a guy who always teased me for being quiet. One day he came up to me and asked, "So... are you into casual sex or are you not up to that stage yet?" I literally started at him for a full second and then looked around to check he was actually talking to me. I ended up saying, "I don't think its any of your business." and walked away. He must have thought I had a secret life he didn't know about or something ...

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People never stop thinking im gay. I am not really sure why.

You must be a very happy person. ~

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Truth and Lies

Family assumes I'm hetero. I try to subtly squeeze in indifference towards both sexes, but that doesn't seem to help. XD You'd think, after all this time without a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, they might try to ponder on a different answer. Nope.

Friends already know I'm ace...

Hm. Well, classmates/acquaintances will probably assume I'm hetero unless we get into a discussion about relationships where I tend to carelessly disclose that I'm not, in fact, hetero. This has happened a few times before, and I usually just get confusion as a reaction (oh boy, trying to explain my orientation to people in my German class. At the end of it, they still assumed I was hetero. I... don't even. :wacko:).

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Welp, in the society we live in, assumptions are inavoidable.

I'm 14 & a small thing. A lot of my friends now have told me that they thought my voice was going to be a lot higher or quieter. Boy, were they wrong.

I'm pretty affectionate too, to the point that my friends have deemed me as "flirty". I don't treat people of different genders differently, nor show any kind of favor to one, so I haven't done anything to get people to think I'm necessarily straight or not. Most people will think I'm straight until I tell them. It's no big surprise or "that explains a lot" kind of thing, since I have this dynamic of essentially "hitting on" people (I'm playfully flirty, at best) & loving the idea of romance, but also never have had a prevalent crush or interest in a relationship.

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I get a lot of people assuming I'm a lesbian. Family, peers, coworkers from my seasonal job. It's that or I'm dating my best friend. It's hilarious and while I don't exactly encourage them, I still get a kick out of people who jump through hoops to rationalize why I'm not open about any sexual attraction. Hint hint, they don't exist.

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Daniel John Sheaffer

I find it pretty hilarious when really conservative people assume I'm a Satanist just because I simply listen to rock and metal music.

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No one has ever made assumptions about my sexuality. It's never been brought up by anyone. I do often wonder, though, what my family, friends and co-workers think I am.

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ALL the time. I've had people hit on me and try and hook me up with their friends or people that they know...which is frustrating. It seems like people try to put me into a box to try to "understand" me and make me fit into their categories. Sigh.

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Through out my life people have often made the assumption that I'm a meek, submissive girly girl who loves the color pink and dreams of unicorns. I kid you not people have actually said stuff like this to me. I'm basically the opposite of all those things aggressive, dominant and rough.

I cannot fathom how people see those things in me.

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People often make assumptions about me. Usually something along the lines of "I know you wanna tap that" Or some other such plebeian constructs often used to describe hookup culture. (Not that there's anything wrong with hookup culture, just those turns of phrase often associated with it bother because of the number of times I've had them erroneously applied to me).

Lately people just assume that I'm still in emotional recovery from just coming out of a long term relationship. Although that is true, "going out and getting laid" is not going to help me.

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I had a couple people who think that I'm just asexual since I've not had sex.

Although most people assume that I've had lot of sex, done a lot of drugs, and the like. Apparently, I don't look like the sort of person that doesn't have a kid somewhere, only smoked pot twice in my life, and only drinks.

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