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The A Is For Asexual


GreenWithEnby

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GreenWithEnby

Np, but srly there should be a group to support anything that doesn't fit the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella like us.

I agree 100%. It should be a complete support group. How can we fight oppression when we're fighting ourselves?

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Some things protect us from the rain and some things protect us from the sun. Both are valid purposes and we shouldn't exclude parasols just because they're not waterproof.

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AVEN has everybody from inside and out the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella and I haven't seen any group fighting another yet.

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Although the discrimination does include asexuals, how big are the issues of asexuals in there? I have not come across anything of substance other than anecdotes. In my experience, I do used to be in homophobic environment and no one ever cares you do not give a damn about sex. Not one cares here.

I'm glad that you are in the place where nobody cares. Congratulations. I'm not.

I'm glad that even if you hear phrases like "you're not even human" or "when I run into you, I'll show you how it's done and you won't be asexual anymore", you can ignore them. Congratulations. I can't.

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GreenWithEnby

So, due to lots of response, I have to say that it really is complicated. I am fairly new to this community, so if I sound very uneducated, that is probably why. I have nothing against allies and would have no reason to. Perhaps they should just have one of each letter and have it stand for everything starting with that letter. But I'm not exactly the one in charge, so I can't make those decisions. I just think that the amount of recognition for each identity differs with the political climate, so I can't speak for everyone, every country, every state or providence, every area. I speak for myself in saying that I wish everything under the Ace umbrella wasn't seen as something that ONLY stems from trauma, or something that is inherently wrong. And perhaps we could get that from more recognition? I'm not sure. Nonetheless, feel free to disagree with me as, again, I'm new.

As I've recently mentioned in another thread, I view what is referred to as "the LGBT community" not as a monolith, but as a composite organism of several communities. Some of them collaborate with each other on certain matters, but each has an individual purpose per se. Those individual purposes often get overlooked, but they exist, and they are not limited with "do not kill us" and "let us marry people of our own sex".

Now then, the visibility of sexual/romantic/gender identities is a cause where the communities ought to collaborate, and leaving the asexual community out on the principle that "they are not persecuted" is self-contradictory. Imprisoning and executing someone is not the only form of persecution. Bullying someone into depression, self-destructing behavior and sometimes even suicide, is persecution too. Personally, I could not care less whether we have our own letter in the acronym or not. However, "don't give them a letter in the acronym" too often stands for different, way more terrible things. It stands for "don't allow them to tell teens that not wanting sex at all is normal". It stands for "don't allow them to use our V.I.P. anti-suicide hotline". It stands for "don't allow them to complain about laws which are internationally known as anti-gay, even though they are as targeted as we are". And this is the attitude I oppose, no matter the letter, no matter what.

I stand by this as an asexual person who grew up surrounded by numerous gay, bi and trans people, and was pressured by them into feeling broken, inhuman and sick, solely due to the fact that asexuality had been swept under the rug at the times of my adolescence and youth.

I have many Pansexual friends, Lesbian friends, and Gay friends. Gender wise I have two Nonbinary friends and a Gender Fluid friend. They know that I am Asexual and don't bully me. In fact, I don't have problems with any of my Heterosexual friends. I have problems with my parents, my mom mostly, as I said in the main post, she is a Psychology professor and can't wrap her head around it. I have a problem with one of my friends who acts particularly sexual around me as if she is trying to 'cure' me. That is what I have a problem with.

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GreenWithEnby

Some things protect us from the rain and some things protect us from the sun. Both are valid purposes and we shouldn't exclude parasols just because they're not waterproof.

So is it a Parasol Parasol, a Parasol Umbrella, or an Umbrella Umbrella?

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Np, but srly there should be a group to support anything that doesn't fit the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella like us.

I agree 100%. It should be a complete support group. How can we fight oppression when we're fighting ourselves?

Um because you're still excluding people based on nothing but their gender/ sexual preferences, and that's still oppression. Why is it OK to exclude cishets, exactly? Is there a reason why they don't need support, community, affection, pride, labels, self-identities, vocalizations about their identities, pride parades, etc? Who gets to decide that everyone except them can have what you consider to be a human right?

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GreenWithEnby

Np, but srly there should be a group to support anything that doesn't fit the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella like us.

I agree 100%. It should be a complete support group. How can we fight oppression when we're fighting ourselves?

Um because you're still excluding people based on nothing but their gender/ sexual preferences, and that's still oppression. Why is it OK to exclude cishets, exactly? Is there a reason why they don't need support, community, affection, pride, labels, self-identities, vocalizations about their identities, pride parades, etc? Who gets to decide that everyone except them can have what you consider to be a human right?

In response to this, I just want to go back to what I said earlier

Why not just use the whole alphabet to make sure there's no chance of anyone ever feeling left out?

I feel about this the same way I feel about Racism (And I will probably get a lot of hate for this, but) : Every race is diverse and has different culture, languages, food, clothing, religion, language, etc. I think that, instead of erasing different cultures or separating ourselves from different cultures, we should all embrace the different cultures. We should respect and love everyone BECAUSE they are different, but should treat all people with kindness and proper respect.

I believe that if we lived in a world without homophobia, biphobia, or any sort of phobia in that category, it wouldn't be 'Straight or Gay', 'Asexual or Sexual', or 'Right or Wrong'.

It would be 'Human'. Because that is what we all are.

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So, due to lots of response, I have to say that it really is complicated. I am fairly new to this community, so if I sound very uneducated, that is probably why. I have nothing against allies and would have no reason to. Perhaps they should just have one of each letter and have it stand for everything starting with that letter. But I'm not exactly the one in charge, so I can't make those decisions. I just think that the amount of recognition for each identity differs with the political climate, so I can't speak for everyone, every country, every state or providence, every area. I speak for myself in saying that I wish everything under the Ace umbrella wasn't seen as something that ONLY stems from trauma, or something that is inherently wrong. And perhaps we could get that from more recognition? I'm not sure. Nonetheless, feel free to disagree with me as, again, I'm new.

As I've recently mentioned in another thread, I view what is referred to as "the LGBT community" not as a monolith, but as a composite organism of several communities. Some of them collaborate with each other on certain matters, but each has an individual purpose per se. Those individual purposes often get overlooked, but they exist, and they are not limited with "do not kill us" and "let us marry people of our own sex".

Now then, the visibility of sexual/romantic/gender identities is a cause where the communities ought to collaborate, and leaving the asexual community out on the principle that "they are not persecuted" is self-contradictory. Imprisoning and executing someone is not the only form of persecution. Bullying someone into depression, self-destructing behavior and sometimes even suicide, is persecution too. Personally, I could not care less whether we have our own letter in the acronym or not. However, "don't give them a letter in the acronym" too often stands for different, way more terrible things. It stands for "don't allow them to tell teens that not wanting sex at all is normal". It stands for "don't allow them to use our V.I.P. anti-suicide hotline". It stands for "don't allow them to complain about laws which are internationally known as anti-gay, even though they are as targeted as we are". And this is the attitude I oppose, no matter the letter, no matter what.

I stand by this as an asexual person who grew up surrounded by numerous gay, bi and trans people, and was pressured by them into feeling broken, inhuman and sick, solely due to the fact that asexuality had been swept under the rug at the times of my adolescence and youth.

I have many Pansexual friends, Lesbian friends, and Gay friends. Gender wise I have two Nonbinary friends and a Gender Fluid friend. They know that I am Asexual and don't bully me. In fact, I don't have problems with any of my Heterosexual friends. I have problems with my parents, my mom mostly, as I said in the main post, she is a Psychology professor and can't wrap her head around it. I have a problem with one of my friends who acts particularly sexual around me as if she is trying to 'cure' me. That is what I have a problem with.

I have the same issue with my parents, they don't believe I'm asexual and intergender, they say I shouldn't tell that to anyone and they are always trying to make me act like a cis in public.

My mom also she thinks I'm asexual bc sex is too shocking for me and I'm traumatized.

I already went to therapists to talk about this but my last therapist was an asshole, he was always trying to "cure" me like if I Ned a cure, like how come homo-transphobic persons work as psychologists, it makes no sense.

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Np, but srly there should be a group to support anything that doesn't fit the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella like us.

I agree 100%. It should be a complete support group. How can we fight oppression when we're fighting ourselves?

Um because you're still excluding people based on nothing but their gender/ sexual preferences, and that's still oppression. Why is it OK to exclude cishets, exactly? Is there a reason why they don't need support, community, affection, pride, labels, self-identities, vocalizations about their identities, pride parades, etc? Who gets to decide that everyone except them can have what you consider to be a human right?

In response to this, I just want to go back to what I said earlier

Why not just use the whole alphabet to make sure there's no chance of anyone ever feeling left out?

I feel about this the same way I feel about Racism (And I will probably get a lot of hate for this, but) : Every race is diverse and has different culture, languages, food, clothing, religion, language, etc. I think that, instead of erasing different cultures or separating ourselves from different cultures, we should all embrace the different cultures. We should respect and love everyone BECAUSE they are different, but should treat all people with kindness and proper respect.

I believe that if we lived in a world without homophobia, biphobia, or any sort of phobia in that category, it wouldn't be 'Straight or Gay', 'Asexual or Sexual', or 'Right or Wrong'.

It would be 'Human'. Because that is what we all are.

Totally agree :D

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I have many Pansexual friends, Lesbian friends, and Gay friends. Gender wise I have two Nonbinary friends and a Gender Fluid friend. They know that I am Asexual and don't bully me.

I also know lesbian, gay, bi and trans people who support me/us, and I am grateful for that. However, "Why do cis hetero people persecute us? We should unite and persecute aro aces together! That's who we all should be afraid of, those untrustworthy living-breathing calculators" is an actual quote from a trans person whom I know in real life. And that's not the only example. My experiences with LGBT vary, and I find it dishonest to only mention positive ones.

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GreenWithEnby

I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

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Do any of you remember back when it was GLBT? I was around when that changed to LGBT for political correctness reasons.

Wait, what? Elaborate please?
Womens come first, being hetero or not.
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GreenWithEnby

I have many Pansexual friends, Lesbian friends, and Gay friends. Gender wise I have two Nonbinary friends and a Gender Fluid friend. They know that I am Asexual and don't bully me.

I also know lesbian, gay, bi and trans people who support me/us, and I am grateful for that. However, "Why do cis hetero people persecute us? We should unite and persecute aro aces together! That's who we all should be afraid of, those untrustworthy living-breathing calculators" is an actual quote from a trans person whom I know in real life. And that's not the only example. My experiences with LGBT vary, and I find it dishonest to only mention positive ones.

Those people scare me. I like having support from fellow LGBTQA+ members, so when THAT happens... It makes me want to run and hide.

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Do any of you remember back when it was GLBT? I was around when that changed to LGBT for political correctness reasons.

Wait, what? Elaborate please?
Womens come first, being hetero or not.
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See, parasols are being oppressed by being ignored AGAIN.

We need to differentiate between the different types of precipitation prophylactic, so we can all feel special.

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I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Yeah all non-binary genders suffer any kind of discrimination, same about non-dyadic sexes.
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GreenWithEnby

I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Yeah all non-binary genders suffer any kind of discrimination, same about non-dyadic sexes.

We should all just be friends, in my opinion, but that scenario appears far off.

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Although the discrimination does include asexuals, how big are the issues of asexuals in there? I have not come across anything of substance other than anecdotes. In my experience, I do used to be in homophobic environment and no one ever cares you do not give a damn about sex. Not one cares here.

I'm glad that you are in the place where nobody cares. Congratulations. I'm not.

I'm glad that even if you hear phrases like "you're not even human" or "when I run into you, I'll show you how it's done and you won't be asexual anymore", you can ignore them. Congratulations. I can't.

Um, okay. All I wanted to know about how things are for asexuals in there and there has yet to be an actual decent study on asexuals and discrimination. All of them has methodological problems.

As for the second part, you would be right that I can ignore them with ease. Positive and negative comments in general isn't something I care to listen to in the first place.

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I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Less visibility, less challenging authority, less threatening to existing heteronormative gender hierarchy.

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GreenWithEnby

I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Less visibility, less challenging authority, less threatening to existing heteronormative gender hierarchy.

We are quieter, for the most part. We don't do parades (and if we do, not as often), there aren't as many of us... On top of that, again, like you said, we are less threatening to them. Well, the Heteroromantic Aces are less threatening. I'm not sure about any other Aces...

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I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Less visibility, less challenging authority, less threatening to existing heteronormative gender hierarchy.

We are quieter, for the most part. We don't do parades (and if we do, not as often), there aren't as many of us... On top of that, again, like you said, we are less threatening to them. Well, the Heteroromantic Aces are less threatening. I'm not sure about any other Aces...

Aromantic asexuals might be on a limbo on that and they can hide very well. No one suspects me of being different, and even if they do, they never once bother to confront me about it.

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I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Less visibility, less challenging authority, less threatening to existing heteronormative gender hierarchy.

We are quieter, for the most part. We don't do parades (and if we do, not as often), there aren't as many of us... On top of that, again, like you said, we are less threatening to them. Well, the Heteroromantic Aces are less threatening. I'm not sure about any other Aces...
Heteroromantic aces still queer anyway, anything outside the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella is technically a queer.
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Aces with homo/pan/bi romantic orientations, or homo/pan/bi demisexual people, are most definitely under the LGB banner.

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GreenWithEnby

I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Less visibility, less challenging authority, less threatening to existing heteronormative gender hierarchy.

We are quieter, for the most part. We don't do parades (and if we do, not as often), there aren't as many of us... On top of that, again, like you said, we are less threatening to them. Well, the Heteroromantic Aces are less threatening. I'm not sure about any other Aces...
Heteroromantic aces still queer anyway, anything outside the cis-dyadic-heteronormative umbrella is technically a queer.

But they are less threatening to the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative 'agenda'. Or, at least, the Conservative agenda.

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GreenWithEnby

I agree, even thought there might not be as much discrimination against Asexuals as there is against other things that don't fall under the Cis-Dyadic-Heteronormative umbrella, but that could just be due to less visibility?

Less visibility, less challenging authority, less threatening to existing heteronormative gender hierarchy.

We are quieter, for the most part. We don't do parades (and if we do, not as often), there aren't as many of us... On top of that, again, like you said, we are less threatening to them. Well, the Heteroromantic Aces are less threatening. I'm not sure about any other Aces...

Aromantic asexuals might be on a limbo on that and they can hide very well. No one suspects me of being different, and even if they do, they never once bother to confront me about it.

I suppose that goes for Asexuals as well, if you play your cards right. However, at some point, I think I'd rather be heard instead of looked over and then pushed into awkward situations. I don't want to be a special snowflake, I just want to be respected as a human being.

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Aces with homo/pan/bi romantic orientations, or homo/pan/bi demisexual people, are most definitely under the LGB banner.

U forgot about the mono/cetero/neutrois/poly/andro/androgyno/gyno people, not only demis but the whole gray area as well and polyamory people.

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