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Meeting others and dating


BobRossRules

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Also, I would leave the f*****g out of it. ;) :P

But seriously, best wishes.

Dave you are a funny man. First smile/chuckle of the day

I've come to a conclusion: I am trying way to f*****g hard.

I give up

If something happens, it will be by Devine intervention

Please don't give up!!! All of us here have your back!!

:aven:

Agreed, definitely don't. *hugs*

Thank you very much Hadley

Aside from local meetups, has anyone ever traveled to another city or state to meet another ace? If so, what was the experience like?

There should be more aces in VT, but I work, and don't live near the one college city (where I've seen students there wearing asexual t-shirts). About a year ago, I decided to host a meetup as part of the New England Aces group which is based in Boston. I found a few people from western MA and threw out an invite for a fun little hike. In the end, only one person (out of 3) could make it, and I had to drive 3 hours to get there. I ended up having my college friend and her boyfriend come too, just so I wouldn't definitely be alone. It was fun, and nice to meet another ace in real life (my first and only at this point). But I don't necessarily feel like asexual company is better than mixed company for me personally. I've had pretty good luck with mixed company of people, even if there have been some bad experiences. I play adult co-ed dodgeball every week with a great group of folks. There's no pressure of any kind. It's dodgeball. You can even choose a nemesis if you want, but then you always end up smiling and laughing with each other at the end of the night :)

Well now (or very shortly will be)that I am a member of Aces of New England, I give you my word I would attend. Currently I'm the only loyal member in New Haven.

I agree mixed company is good, too. Dodgeball seems pretty safe from sexual tension or pressure. Maybe I'll look into another group on meetup.com-maybe.

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butterflydreams

...It was fun, and nice to meet another ace in real life (my first and only at this point). But I don't necessarily feel like asexual company is better than mixed company for me personally. I've had pretty good luck with mixed company of people, even if there have been some bad experiences. I play adult co-ed dodgeball every week with a great group of folks. There's no pressure of any kind. It's dodgeball. You can even choose a nemesis if you want, but then you always end up smiling and laughing with each other at the end of the night :)

Time with friends, no matter what their orientation is fantastic. You must be awesome if you dig dodgeball!! 8) I know someone from work who used to be on a roller derby team. She's pretty bad ass.

I've never meet a real live ace before (or at least I didn't know it). Personally, I think it would be neat, especially a person who is within the older age group. It's funny, I never describe myself as "old", except in the context of being ace. I'm actually a spring chicken. :D

I was kind of mixed on meeting another ace in real life. Would it really matter? But I have to say, after doing it, it was an enjoyable experience. It was also nice to see she was about as normal as you could be, which made me feel less alone as a plain-Jane ace. And she was a year or two older than me, which I liked because it's easy to get the impression sometimes that most aces are young college folk ;)

Dodgeball is a great adult group sport activity if you can find a place to play. It's casual, it's got a great nostalgia factor, and where I play, head shots are allowed :P

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Blue Phoenix Ace

What would the rules for asexual spin the bottle be anyway? On that subject, has anyone been forced to play that game? What about truth or dare? That was always dicey for me. :)

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I think I was 13 or 14 and the neighborhood girls wanted to play a rotation version of some type of kissing game. They all liked one dude so it was just so totally awkward when they came to your turn. I had no clue how to kiss, they had zero desire to kiss me, and my only memory is the taste of one girls gum that she didn't bother to take out of her mouth. I was humiliating, boring, awful, and scared me for life. Not really, but my interest in kissing hasn't changed since then.

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Autumn Season

What would the rules for asexual spin the bottle be anyway? On that subject, has anyone been forced to play that game? What about truth or dare? That was always dicey for me. :)

Lots of questions about everyday life (to get to know each other) and asexuality ("When did you first find out", etc.). "dare" would be "Bring some cake from the supermarket at the corner", haha.

I played with a big group of people. I pretended to be asleep, but got picked anyway. What I noticed is that you were totally presured to do and ask for sexual things. When the action or question was not sexual, then nobody cared if one answered/ did it.

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yeah…this one time at band camp…he he. :D Never did the 7 minutes in heaven, but truth and dare, and spin the bottle. Fortunately noting too risqué. I did have a crush on a guy and I had to kiss him. It was a quick peck on the check. I had butterflies and was all giddy. :wub:

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I never played spin the bottle or truth or dare or any of those games (no one ever asked me to or tried to get me to anyway).

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I never played spin the bottle or truth or dare or any of those games (no one ever asked me to or tried to get me to anyway).

Consider yourself lucky.

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Yes (and no) - I guess I'm lucky no one ever tried to get me to do those things; but also unlucky, because I never had the kinds of friendships where that kind of thing was even possible, because it meant other things that I might have liked didn't happen, too.

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Yes (and no) - I guess I'm lucky no one ever tried to get me to do those things; but also unlucky, because I never had the kinds of friendships where that kind of thing was even possible, because it meant other things that I might have liked didn't happen, too.

I understand where you're coming from. 2 of the 3 girls are still lifetime friends. Ha I wonder if they would even remember or admit to it.
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Yes (and no) - I guess I'm lucky no one ever tried to get me to do those things; but also unlucky, because I never had the kinds of friendships where that kind of thing was even possible, because it meant other things that I might have liked didn't happen, too.

Still time for awesome friendships...never too late!!

:)

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butterflydreams

I never played spin the bottle or truth or dare or any of those games (no one ever asked me to or tried to get me to anyway).

Consider yourself lucky.

Quite. It always seemed like a pre-teen type of thing to me, like when you're 11-13 or so. I sort of recall playing truth or dare with two boys and two girls when I was in 6th grade (so...12?). We were all friends, I wish those girls hadn't separated off because "boys and girls can't be just friends anymore after a certain age". They were really cool. One of them remains one of the nicest people I've ever known.

Anyway, we were all playing truth or dare off in some corner of the classroom during break. It was my friend's turn and the girl dared him to...and I'm not making this up..."french kiss the heater". The heater being a big metal forced hot air blower next to us. I'll never forget, he stuck his tongue out and licked that heater good :lol:

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Anyway, we were all playing truth or dare off in some corner of the classroom during break. It was my friend's turn and the girl dared him to...and I'm not making this up..."french kiss the heater". The heater being a big metal forced hot air blower next to us. I'll never forget, he stuck his tongue out and licked that heater good :lol:

OMG...EW, but super funny!! :P

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I never played spin the bottle or truth or dare or any of those games (no one ever asked me to or tried to get me to anyway).

Consider yourself lucky.

Quite. It always seemed like a pre-teen type of thing to me, like when you're 11-13 or so. I sort of recall playing truth or dare with two boys and two girls when I was in 6th grade (so...12?). We were all friends, I wish those girls hadn't separated off because "boys and girls can't be just friends anymore after a certain age". They were really cool. One of them remains one of the nicest people I've ever known.

Anyway, we were all playing truth or dare off in some corner of the classroom during break. It was my friend's turn and the girl dared him to...and I'm not making this up..."french kiss the heater". The heater being a big metal forced hot air blower next to us. I'll never forget, he stuck his tongue out and licked that heater good :lol:

Eww, he was probably showing off his sexual prowess!

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Or stupidity.

However it could have been worse...

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Now that I think about it, the only friendships I had in high school were at school. I didn't have any friends outside of school and even the ones I had at school I never met with outside of school, never hung out, never went to their houses (and certainly didn't have anyone over at mine). Is that weird? High school was not the "best years of my life". These years are. :)

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Autumn Season

Now that I think about it, the only friendships I had in high school were at school. I didn't have any friends outside of school and even the ones I had at school I never met with outside of school, never hung out, never went to their houses (and certainly didn't have anyone over at mine). Is that weird? High school was not the "best years of my life". These years are. :)

I almost only had friends OUTSIDE of school. Is THIS weird? ;) And I agree about the "best years".

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Now that I think about it, the only friendships I had in high school were at school. I didn't have any friends outside of school and even the ones I had at school I never met with outside of school, never hung out, never went to their houses (and certainly didn't have anyone over at mine). Is that weird? High school was not the "best years of my life". These years are. :)

Looking back, yes. The people I considered friends were from school. My current friends are people who I met at some school event even though none of us were students. The common way to socialize outside school is to hang out in bars and I am not much into the bar culture!

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My fewish friends are all from high school. A couple just happened to live in the same neighborhood as well.

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Oh, I don't have any of those friends anymore. Not since a long time! Probably because they were "at school" friends only and once I left school I never saw them (until I went to my 30 year high school reunion and didn't really reconnect. I realized we're too different now.)

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So what if we didn't socialize much in high school. It's awesome that these are our best years!! Far better than having your life "peaking" at high school, then going down hill from there. We're lucky that our lives are getting better with age!!

:D

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butterflydreams

Oh, I don't have any of those friends anymore. Not since a long time! Probably because they were "at school" friends only and once I left school I never saw them (until I went to my 30 year high school reunion and didn't really reconnect. I realized we're too different now.)

While I'm not quite as old as you, this is pretty reflective of my experience with things (my 10 year high school reunion should be this summer...oh decisions). To be perfectly honest, it's one are that my therapist refers to as a bone bruise, and it still hurts if poked. I got my college 5 year reunion letter this past summer, and just getting it made me so upset. Upset that I felt I'd been cheated out of anything resembling a normal college experience. Something like my brother had, or my sister had. Lifetime friends. Positive memories. Real personal growth and development.

All I could think of when I got my reunion letter was how much RWD rental car I could afford to blow donuts on the quad of my old campus. I was so upset.

The only saving grace to all of it is that I understand if I knew then what I know now, about myself, and had been able to actualize myself then as I am now, it would've been the experience I wanted. So if nothing else, there's the hope that I'll never miss another experience like that again.

So what if we didn't socialize much in high school. It's awesome that these are our best years!! Far better than having your life "peaking" at high school, then going down hill from there. We're lucky that our lives are getting better with age!!

:D

This is a great point as well, and something I've often told myself. Though it was never much of a surprise who was peaking in high school. Most of those things have played out. I always felt like I was part of the secondary peak crowd, like in college, or once they got into the world. Most of my high school friends were in that secondary group, and all of them that I know of have absolutely peaked between then and now. So it's not much consolation for me unfortunately. Is there a tertiary peak? *fingers crossed*

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So what if we didn't socialize much in high school. It's awesome that these are our best years!! Far better than having your life "peaking" at high school, then going down hill from there. We're lucky that our lives are getting better with age!!

:D

I totally agree. Some of the people I know who do believe high school was "the best years" are not doing so well since. I guess that's why high school was their best years. I'm very happy with my life, especially these days. :D

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With all that said, even though my friends date back to high school, I hated high school. They've all done tremendous, while I have slid back recently, high school was certainly not my peak. I thought my college years were the best, but sadly no remaining friendships. No reunions in my past, present, or future for me.

I'm praying hard for better days ahead. Kind of in wheel spinning mode lately, hoping to kick it in gear.

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I always felt like I was part of the secondary peak crowd, like in college, or once they got into the world. Most of my high school friends were in that secondary group, and all of them that I know of have absolutely peaked between then and now. So it's not much consolation for me unfortunately. Is there a tertiary peak? *fingers crossed*

Yep, definitely opportunities for a tertiary peak!

;)

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So what if we didn't socialize much in high school. It's awesome that these are our best years!! Far better than having your life "peaking" at high school, then going down hill from there. We're lucky that our lives are getting better with age!!

:D

Hell yeah! High school was okay. College? Meh. Didn't like it so much. But it seems the moment I turned thirty, things started getting better.

As for meeting people, I'm very active on meetup.com. I met my good friend through there and even the guy I was dating recently. However, I am surprised there doesn't seem to be any Ace related groups in my city. Pittsburgh isn't New York or Philly, but it's not small town America either.

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As for meeting people, I'm very active on meetup.com. I met my good friend through there and even the guy I was dating recently. However, I am surprised there doesn't seem to be any Ace related groups in my city. Pittsburgh isn't New York or Philly, but it's not small town America either.

Perhaps you could start one :) This will also create ACE awareness!

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As for meeting people, I'm very active on meetup.com. I met my good friend through there and even the guy I was dating recently. However, I am surprised there doesn't seem to be any Ace related groups in my city. Pittsburgh isn't New York or Philly, but it's not small town America either.

Perhaps you could start one :) This will also create ACE awareness!

If I was a little braver, I might consider it. :blush:

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46 ohh 46. i am also 46. what scare most men is when a woman is intelligent. imagine when we are intelligent AND asexual. lol. i guess we are men worst nightmare lol lol

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