Cocorose Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 So im still a little shaky on knowing exactly what my deal is concerning my sexuality but heres my issue... I have always considered myself a sexual type of person. I master bate quite impulsively and fantasize sexually but in my head its never been about me having sex with other people. Its more of me fantasizing about characters I make up and what they do with each other. I always thought I was totally into sex but when I had sex for the first time with my girlfriend throughout the whole time i kept thinking how I was not into what was happening and how I would rather be master bating instead. I literally felt no arousal. Ever since that moment I loathed the thought of having sex with someone.Even now if I ever feel some sort of attraction to someone the one thing I would never think about with them is sex and if someone ever insinuated any sex act that I could do with them I feel grossed out and angry. I still master bate and love it but i cant image being intimate with anybody ever again. Even after that night with my girlfriend I felt severely disconnected and i felt angry at my body. We broke up because of my distant behavior. I guess what I wanted to know is whether this counted as some degree of asexuality because honestly im feeling extremely lost and once i read more on asexuality I got a little hopeful. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
012 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 If you feel very little or no desire to have sex with another person I'd call that asexual. Masturbation is irrelevant to it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 there are asexuals who do like to fantasize and/or masturbate. not all asexuals are like this, but it isn't uncommon either. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Awkward JoJoeh Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Please look up the term, "Autosexual" in your spare time. This may help with how you're feeling. There is so much knowledge out there to explain the qualities of human being. I'm sure there are words that exist to describe and if I found them, would make my life feel a little more complete. As for if you are asexual or not, it is up to the person to judge that for themselves. Good luck with everything and welcome to AVEN, friend Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 You said in your post that you feel "some sort of attraction" to people--but what does that mean to you? What kind of attraction are you dealing with, here? There is more than just sexual attraction. Asexuality is frequently defined as the lack of sexual attraction (or, in the case of gray-asexuals, mostly a lack of sexual attraction). No one here can rightfully tell you that you are or are not asexual, but I can tell you that, at the very least, you sound pretty ace to me. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Autosexual means sexual attraction to oneself; which is different from simply masturbating. Asexuality strictly applies to not desiring to have sex with anyone. I suggest this thread. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 If you feel very little or no desire to have sex with another person I'd call that asexual. Masturbation is irrelevant to it. ^^this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
levelskid Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I'm very much the same way. It's like I have to masturbate to take care of this libido, and since it's fun, I'm going to enjoy it with fantasies. But I never had the idea of me being in those scenarios. I don't crave sex for myself and could go my whole life without it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Distortedmotion Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 This is interesting, I can relate also. I've never had visions of sex or dreams of having sex with another person. When I masturbated / had a wet dream. I was late beginning at age 18-19? I discovered some books on it (the days before internet) and fell into the trap. I always felt bad afterwards, like I was drained of energy. Strangely I can relate the downfall of my health and sporting achievements directly to masturbation - maybe we do lose special energy? . I recently started a 'no fap' challenge and I'm now 40 days in. I feel great, I'm energised and 99% sure I can quit for life. I'm going to keep a diary of what happens and let you guys know if anything positive comes of it. So far the positives are: Increased energy levels More focus (hobbies etc) More muscular Everyone wants to talk to me I'm more confident I can sleep 4-5hrs a night and still not be tired. Time seems to go slower now I will try and keep posting back here. Any questions? Fire them at me guys, I'm ready to catch! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 This is interesting, I can relate also. I've never had visions of sex or dreams of having sex with another person. When I masturbated / had a wet dream. I was late beginning at age 18-19? I discovered some books on it (the days before internet) and fell into the trap. I always felt bad afterwards, like I was drained of energy. Strangely I can relate the downfall of my health and sporting achievements directly to masturbation - maybe we do lose special energy? . I recently started a 'no fap' challenge and I'm now 40 days in. I feel great, I'm energised and 99% sure I can quit for life. I'm going to keep a diary of what happens and let you guys know if anything positive comes of it. So far the positives are: Increased energy levels More focus (hobbies etc) More muscular Everyone wants to talk to me I'm more confident I can sleep 4-5hrs a night and still not be tired. Time seems to go slower now I will try and keep posting back here. Any questions? Fire them at me guys, I'm ready to catch! Perhaps you should create a thread for this specifically! There's a lot out there that has to do with the positives of masturbation, so I'm sure there would be some people here interested in potential positives of not masturbating. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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