jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Ace Wolf, yay! Glad things are moving along for you ^_^ Name and details change take a lot of energy. :/ it's good that people are cool with it! Long may it continue! Desmister, welcome and I think it's perfectly fine to be figuring things out! Growing and learning every day is a good thing. :) Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 I'm starting to think I'm actually bigender; sometimes I feel "I'm neither boy or girl, just a me", other times I think "Please call me a lad, please?" like it'd be the biggest compliment ever, sometimes I'm just like "Make your mind up brain". Right now my brain's in male mode, last week being referred to as "he" would've been weird... Can bigender work this way? Also I never know whether to say male or masculine, because while lad, guy or mate makes me smile, man would make me feel weird. That could be the connotations of maturity though, I'm not mature :P For sure, why not? :) I know I'm pretty fluid. I like Pangender as a thing, I can see what that's all about... If maybe my start point was more to the male side of things. :) I guess language /words and slang is dependent on location, 'guys' seems to be for all gender in pop culture from American language, I remember when my teachers at school had a stress about it being used as it was inaccurate raa etc, and now it's used here too. He he he Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 I'll just do a tiny T update, Ive had my first shot for December and it's my first one ever, I managed to get ONE decent selfie before my face EXPLODED with zits, and I am talking Age of Apocalypse level of destruction here. *sigh* :( I was hoping to avoid this but all the odds were against me. *wears mask like Bane* *mumbles about things* Other than that, the zen chill lasted almost a week. I can still feel little zaps of zen now (and it's a hugely stressful time right now) so it'll be interesting to see how the next shots go. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Congrats Jack!! The acne will pass, if you're like others I know who went through that. It's like an awkward second puberty, but it too will pass, just like the first one. I'm sorry you have to deal with it though; puberty sucks enough the first time around! :( *hugs* and here's to many more future zen moments! Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Thank you Heart! Yeah it sucks but it's relatively small in comparison. Link to post Share on other sites
Valiant Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 @ jack616: My gender therapist is the organiser, which makes it a little less daunting in that I have a vague association with one attendant. I don't know about meeting times for 2016, but the 2015 ones were all mid-evening, which makes it accessible for me as the person who'll be taking me there has an early finish on the day the meets fall on. As long as they don't expect me to be chummy from the get-go, I should do fine. The QSA group had mainly extrovert members, or members that already knew each other fairly well, which does add a level of awkwardness to an introvert. Travelling ducks indeed, not half as much as it used to, but still enough to create some fierce anticipation anxiety. :lol: Congratulations on starting T! @ Anthracite_Impreza I know that feel. Bro, dude, guy, mate - I love being called those and have to stop myself from doing a stupid grin when people say them to me, but man, when not said in emphasis (like man that sucks!), feels sorta wrong at the moment. I don't feel like a man, and certainly don't look like one (in my biased opinion), so being called a man feels strange. I can't see why bigender couldn't work that way. :3 Welcome to the thread new people! Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Did you try to soothe the acne? I'm an old acne veteran, so we could see what we have here ;) Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Valiant, I hope you can visit a group if you want to, it seems daunting at first but remember there's no rule to say you must socialise. You can just listen, and that's cool too :) Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Did you try to soothe the acne? I'm an old acne veteran, so we could see what we have here ;) Soothe? I was thinking about sticking my face on a sand belt... Srsly tho, and sorry for the TMI, but the spots that bother me more aren't spots they're more like big hard lumps that flare up and never reach a head like a regular zit. These just bump up and are painful for a week or two then they slink away again (to pop up somewhere else!) Grr Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Oh, that's bad. Apart from going to a dermatologist, on-skin antibiotics help if you have some, and the clay masks perhaps, they're also a bit soothing for inflammatory things like this, but they're not very stong. A lot of people use this family of drugs to cure deep acne: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotretinoin This, on the other hand is like a cannon gun, and has many side-effects if you take pills with this. I use an external one, and it makes sebaceous glands stop altogether, so skin dries out and I have to use moistruising creme all the time (or skin peels). But it's better than acne ^_^ Anyway, you should go to a dermatologist with this. Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Oh, that's bad. Apart from going to a dermatologist, on-skin antibiotics help if you have some, and the clay masks perhaps, they're also a bit soothing for inflammatory things like this, but they're not very stong. A lot of people use this family of drugs to cure deep acne: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotretinoin This, on the other hand is like a cannon gun, and has many side-effects if you take pills with this. I use an external one, and it makes sebaceous glands stop altogether, so skin dries out and I have to use moistruising creme all the time (or skin peels). But it's better than acne ^_^ Anyway, you should go to a dermatologist with this. This sounds really useful and you're a love for sharing, I just find it so hard to take this info in, I don't know why. :( I was thinking it would be an idea to change my cleansing routines tho, I have no idea what to change it to. I probably do everything wrong already lmao ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Cleansing: - necessary: - washing areas with acne 2 times a day, regular soap is enough - clean pillows, change pillowcase every couple of weeks - clean clothes if you wear some over acne (e.g. on the back), change or wash it on the day they start to feel greasy there - washing hair often, they touch face - avoiding to touch the areas with acne - avoiding fast food and very fatty food like crisps and excess of sugar (it doesn't mean you can't eat sweets at all, too much, like 2 bars of chocolate a day, just worsens inflammations) - not overdoing with cosmetics - good, yet not necessary: - peeling once a week - cleansing tonic after you come back home - special washing gels - clay masks - helps some people, but not me: - herbs, but I haven't heard of them working and which to choose - moistruising creams help some people fight acne, but it didn't help me and I guess it would help you either, because both of us have the glands just producing too much grease no matter if the skin is dry or not, with a hormonal basis Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Lol yep I do all that probably too much, I'm a clean freak. What I meant was I had a routine that was pretty gender specific and now I'm not sure if it's the best thing, even tho ive cut things out alot, I'm sure I use too much moisturiser still. But otherwise it's dry skin time, and that's annoying too. Balance is evasive. *slips mask on instead* my only choice is to be a vigilante. :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Thanks guys :) I've gone back to agender now, go figure I think I'll go with bugger all with a dash of lad ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Asadvortrelundar Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 Thanks guys :) I've gone back to agender now, go figure I think I'll go with bugger all with a dash of lad ;) I have a friend who described demigender for them as "none gender with left male/female." Link to post Share on other sites
C-3PO Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 is anybody else here a gamer(though thats a big word to describe myself)? im really back into dragon age rn, but i have this problem where im really uncomfortable playing as a girl? for one i don't like the way they walk(way to swingy with the hips.. why) but i just cant connect with them the way i can with my male characters, and its really bothering me actually :/. i have 2 female characters planned out right now, but im kinda dreading actually playing with them for 80+ hours. Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 15, 2015 Author Share Posted December 15, 2015 Last time I held a controller Goldeneye was out ^_^ soz hun It's only a game right? The character is the character, it's not you. (If I misunderstood I apologise) All I'm saying is its like putting on a costume and playing someone else's character right? Like being in a play. You can't always identify with everything about the characters you play. X Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I'm with blueballoon here. I tried starting to play Destiny on the PS4 a while ago, and picked the female character, but then I heard her voice in a cutscene, and it just turned me off. I haven't played since :( When you get really involved in a game, you star to really identify with the character. I'm kinda glad I'm not the only one who experiences... cyber-dysphoria? Is that even a word? Displaced dysphoria? Phantom dysphoria? Whatever the heck it is, it's dysphoria for a body that's not actually yours, but that you are controlling and come to identify in a way with anyways, like a character in a video game. In short, I feel like that too sometimes. Weird, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 That's understandable. I don't play games so I've no idea what the character options are, but I'm guessing not very diverse? :( Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I don't play video games at all, but I experience it with films and books a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I don't play many games that have human avatars (mostly play sim games), but any characters I RP are either "gender not otherwise specified" or male centred. Much as I want to be able to be diverse in my characters, I can't identify with feminine characters :x Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 I'm the same, if there's no other choice presented than binary male or binary female I've always picked male. X Link to post Share on other sites
Desmister Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I'm the same when it comes to video games. Whenever I get the choice for the gender of my character I always have to go with the male option (Unless there's a genderless or non-human character option). I just feel really uncomfortable playing as a female. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way. I thought I was just being silly for getting so uncomfortable over a virtual person Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Trousers drama: the ones I ordered were too big, I gave them to my dad which just about fit. Lol Waste not... I ordered the smallest size possible, and they arrived and... I could maybe wear them if I didn't eat or breathe the entire day. *pout* God lol or if I don't do the zip up but that's probably not ideal for public places. :3 Link to post Share on other sites
S.Kobold Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Does anyone else get this? - couldn't wear my binder today as it was in the wash, and have had a sore back all day... particularly when walking. Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Clothing that gives support will always make a difference to your body. Backs especially x Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Does anyone else get this? - couldn't wear my binder today as it was in the wash, and have had a sore back all day... particularly when walking. I'm the other way around; I tend to get a sore / stiff back when I wear my binder too much... maybe your body has just gotten used to having the binder, and is complaining when it doesn't have it? One thought though; I have two binders, and I highly recommend it. They are pieces of clothing like all others, so you'll have to wash them, and it's nice to have a second one you can wear when the other's in the wash. If you can afford it, of course... Link to post Share on other sites
hhwgv Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I only recently started identifying as male (a few months ago to myself, less to my internet friends), but ever since, I've felt incredibly liberated. I don't think I'm going to actually "come out" to my family soon, mostly because they are incredibly religious and transphobic, but I would like to get away from them and eventually make a physical transition. I'm slowly buying more "masculine" clothing and I'm hoping that I can buy a binder soon, but we'll see I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
S.Kobold Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 One thought though; I have two binders, and I highly recommend it. They are pieces of clothing like all others, so you'll have to wash them, and it's nice to have a second one you can wear when the other's in the wash. If you can afford it, of course... That's the plan after my finances re-settle once I get working again... Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 That's the plan after my finances re-settle once I get working again... Another (and oft cheaper) way to bind is with compression tops like vests (not sports bras! They squish ribs) A tight vest, even two worn at once, can be a good alternative to binders. Probably depends on body shape and what you can wear over the top. X Link to post Share on other sites
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