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Can a Person Accurately Diagnose Asexuality When He/She is Depressed?


Colorado Ace Space

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Colorado Ace Space

So, I've noticed a trend as I have been going through the Q&A section over the past several months. It seems that a large number of incredibly depressed people are either saying they are asexual or questioning. I would say about 15% of those in the ace-community that I've read or met in person say they suffer from chronic, clinically depression. I have also noticed that these individuals are almost always sex-repulsed and do not mastubate. In my biology class in college depression in regards to evolutionary function was discussed. The origin of depression is thought to be a reaction to infection and ailment in the body, so becoming depressed was useful as it kept the individual from wanting to interact (thereby keeping others from getting sick) and would make a person lethargic so that the body could use the extra energy to heal. Today, depression can be caused by a myriad of emotional, mental and physical reasons, but the resulting behaviour is the same....low energy, low-to-no sex drive, hard time feeling happy, desire to be alone, etc.

So my question for you is......can a person accurately determine whether or not he/she is asexual if they have been and are currently experiencing long-term symptoms of depression?

I have never had clinical depression, and have met numerous aces who have never been depressed for more than a few days. I ask this question because I feel that the stats showing a fairly high rate of asexuals suffering from long-term illness and/or depression might be warped by the fact that many individuals who are depressed from a young age think they are ace when in fact their lack of desire stems from a medical condition, not a innate orientation.

Please note, I'm not saying that a person cannot be asexual -and- depressed. I'm merely speaking from what I have personally witnessed, and I feel like since one of the symptoms of depression is "lack of sexual desire," people are confusing that as lack of "sexual attraction" and labeling themselves as ace.

Thank you for your reply :)

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I think for one that when it's a long-term depression, often it can be something that stays with them for life, so basically even if the depression is at fault for a lack of interest in sexual activity altogether... it's their orientation anyway because of one thing or another. Do you know what I mean? I am a sufferer of depression, but I also believe that people with even the worst depression can have good times and if they aren't showing any change in whether they are sexually attracted in those times that you can certainly say they are still asexual. I think to some degree depression can affect your sexuality but when it's long term I think your mind and body compensate and if you were in reality a heterosexual, for instance, it would pop back up.

Tell me if that makes any sense or no sense? :P

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If they can recall how they felt before the chronic depression, and giving that the chronic depression started after high school, then yah, they can tell if they're asexual. And the depression hast to be severe for their orientation to be inconclusive. As said, people with chronic depression do have good patches; whether it's predominantly bad with patches of good or predominantly good with patches of bad, and if it's still not there then it conclusively isn't.

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I felt asexual before I ever felt depressed.

Asexuality doesn't need a reason. Neither does depression, incidentally.

and have met numerous aces who have never been depressed for more than a few days

Not trying to accuse you here, I just want to make the clarification -- feeling low for "a few days" is not depression. It is a persistent, prevailing ailment that sticks with you for a long period of time, possibly for life, even if it only really strikes you down periodically.

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in answer to your main question, yes. yesyesyes. libido and sexual attraction are two different things, so while sexual people with depression might not want to have sex as often, they still know who they would want to have it with.

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And some people get depressed because they have no one to have sex with :p I always hear people complaining about how they have been super bummed out and lethargic because they are lonely and need to get laid to get out of their funk. Or they wish they had the desire for sex with their partner like they used to but being depressed is ruining it. Sure some aces are depressed, but if you ask a normal depressed person with a low libido if they would consider themselves asexual most would look at you like you were nuts. Same face as you would get if you asked somebody with anxiety about dating another man after a bad breakup if they turned gay from it.

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I ask this question because I feel that the stats showing a fairly high rate of asexuals suffering from long-term illness and/or depression might be warped by the fact that many individuals who are depressed from a young age think they are ace when in fact their lack of desire stems from a medical condition, not a innate orientation.

There are really no "stats". What one person -- you -- has noticed on an on-line forum is just that: what one person has noticed.

I've been on AVEN for a number of years and what I've noticed is that asexuals seem to have many different personal characteristics and have had life experiences -- just as sexuals have. Some asexuals are depressed; some sexuals are depressed. Some asexuals have medical conditions; some sexuals have medical conditions. There is nothing that you could reasonably say about all, or even most, asexuals except that they are asexual.

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I have been clinically depressed for at least 5 years. I have my good days and my bad days, but thinking back to before the depression i believe I have always been somewhere on the ace spectrum.

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Depressed and bipolar for 30 years here. I've never had strong sexual urges, even before the Black Cloud officially came into my life. It's worse now. As for someone knowing they're depressed, well, only they can make that call. I've seen some in denial, saying that they're not depressed, it's something else. that's when it's dangerous.

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Yeah, in clinical terms, it isn't diagnosed as depression "for a few days", it would be at least two weeks. Well, according the last that I know of.

Something like this is hard because of the number of variables here. Asexuals can be depressed as much as sexuals can be depressed. Maybe they're depressed for different reasons. Also the fact that it seems to be a pretty common illness.

People even back then had considered homosexuality as an illness because of how it "causes" distress on the host, when really it wasn't he homosexuality that was causing the distress, but the lack of acceptance and tolerance in that time is what distressed them. It might be the same case towards asexuality.

On a personal note, yeah, I've been depressed for most of my life. On and off really, but each time it came around, it just got worse and worse. I've been feeling better for about a year and a half. I didn't even know about asexuality and identified with it until a year ago. I still identify as asexual now and I still feel that it's accurate.

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I ask this question because I feel that the stats showing a fairly high rate of asexuals suffering from long-term illness and/or depression might be warped by the fact that many individuals who are depressed from a young age think they are ace when in fact their lack of desire stems from a medical condition, not a innate orientation.

There are really no "stats". What one person -- you -- has noticed on an on-line forum is just that: what one person has noticed.

I've been on AVEN for a number of years and what I've noticed is that asexuals seem to have many different personal characteristics and have had life experiences -- just as sexuals have. Some asexuals are depressed; some sexuals are depressed. Some asexuals have medical conditions; some sexuals have medical conditions. There is nothing that you could reasonably say about all, or even most, asexuals except that they are asexual.

Also, the sample of "asexual" people that's noticed is those that are active on an internet forum. Hardly likely to capture and represent all "asexual" people and probably more likely to encounter a skewed sample due to the introverted nature of an online forum.

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I think, if it's long term depression, and a person has another social or emotional desires (e.g. to find a romantic partner, to communicate with people, hang out with friends, learn something new, etc), but still doesn't have a "desire to have sex with others" (I like "attraction" definition more, though, so I would like to say "don't feel any sexual attraction to people), so he or she can be diagnosed as asexual rather accurate. But if there is no social and emotional desires at all, i would like to say, that's a result of depression and we can't definite their (a)sexuality.

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Colorado Ace Space

I felt asexual before I ever felt depressed.

Asexuality doesn't need a reason. Neither does depression, incidentally.

and have met numerous aces who have never been depressed for more than a few days

Not trying to accuse you here, I just want to make the clarification -- feeling low for "a few days" is not depression. It is a persistent, prevailing ailment that sticks with you for a long period of time, possibly for life, even if it only really strikes you down periodically.

I know that "depression" and feeling "depressed for a few days" are two different things. I was trying to make the point that I have met a lot of aces who have never been clinically depressed. But because people use the term "depressed" to describe a low-feeling and to describe the condition I thought it would sound odd to say they have never been depressed, because everyone experiences the sensation now and again....just not always for prolonged periods.

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Colorado Ace Space

I ask this question because I feel that the stats showing a fairly high rate of asexuals suffering from long-term illness and/or depression might be warped by the fact that many individuals who are depressed from a young age think they are ace when in fact their lack of desire stems from a medical condition, not a innate orientation.

There are really no "stats". What one person -- you -- has noticed on an on-line forum is just that: what one person has noticed.

I've been on AVEN for a number of years and what I've noticed is that asexuals seem to have many different personal characteristics and have had life experiences -- just as sexuals have. Some asexuals are depressed; some sexuals are depressed. Some asexuals have medical conditions; some sexuals have medical conditions. There is nothing that you could reasonably say about all, or even most, asexuals except that they are asexual.

I'm not the only person who has noticed it.....

“Questionnaire respondents indicated that asexual respondents were more likely to have low self-esteem and more likely to be depressed than other students.” (p.36 Diversity in Family Life: Gender, relationships and social change” by Elisabetta Ruspini)

“Research has shown that the asexual population has a higher rate of low self- esteem and depression than any other major sexual orientation.” (Nurius, P. S.1983. Mental health implications of sexual orientation. The Journal of Sex Research,19(2), 119-136.).

“Asexual individuals were more likely to respond popsitively to the two items assessing presence of mood or anxiety disorders. Twenty-four percent of asexual men, compared to 10% of non-hetersexual and 15% of hetersexual men noted that they did have a mood disorder.” (results section of “Asexuality and Sexual Normativity: An Anthology” by Mark Carrigan, Kristina Gupta, Todd G. Morrison)

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Those cites don't determine the etiology of low self-esteem/depression. In this sexual world, being asexual doesn't exactly lead to high self-esteem, but that's not endogenous low self-esteem/depression, it's caused by environmental pressures. As at least one commenter above said, there are too many variables in depression -- or what various individuals/researchers call depression -- to blame it on any one factor.

Being a homosexual in the 1960s was not a happy situation. It's a lot better now. The change has been a change in environmental attitudes, not in the homosexual person themselves.

In answer to your question -- although it seems you already had your mind made up when you did this thread -- yes, I certainly think you can determine if you're asexual if your depressed.

I think you may be confusing low libido with asexuality. An asexual may have low libido, but that is not the definition of asexuality. Some asexuals -- which you may have noticed since you're thoroughly read AVEN -- have high libidos, but absolutely no desire to have sex with another human being. THAT'S the definition of asexuality.

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Depression can be a cause for not feeling sexual or low in sexual desire in some people, but that is not the case with every depressed person, some people get more active sexually the more they are depressed, just like some people eat more when they are depressed it even leads them to obesity.....i think to determine either you are asexual or not is very easy, the key is to be true to your self and understand your self well.....no one can tell how you are except you, even if others do understand you, but still there will be millions of aspects about your personality which will be hidden from them, so the only person who can figure out about you is you.

Being Asexual has nothing to do with a cause or illnes or disorder, if you think your asexual and there is a cause for it then you are not asexual, asexual is just part of you and not something which occurs because of something happened to you or you experienced, if that is the case then that person is not asexual in my opinion.

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I've struggled with depression and anxiety on and off, and I definitely think it's possible to "diagnose" asexuality when you're depresed, at least for some people. For one thing, my depression hasn't ever affected my libido or my ability to develop romantic attachments to people, so I think it's unlikely that it's affecting my desire to actually have sex. For another, in retrospect, my disinterest in having sex far predates my depression.

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Sexual orientation is something a person is born with. Depression might affect their attraction towards people. I would sometimes feel severely depressed, but doesn't affect my sexuality. I found documentaries on YouTube that talk about how some people would say "Depression (or another event that was tragic to them, or something else) made them turn gay! That's why it is a choice!" (That might sound over the top, but it is something people would say along those lines) Now, we all know that is stupid to think and extremely disrespectful. Illness and sexuality don't affect each other, but maybe for some, it does. So I guess it depends on the person. Sorry if my explanation sounds confusing or does not make any sense, it's hard to explain.

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So my question for you is......can a person accurately determine whether or not he/she is asexual if they have been and are currently experiencing long-term symptoms of depression?

who really knows. these are human feeligns we're dealing with, and the "science" we have to talk about human emotions has dramatically changed and is often called a psuedo science.

I struggle with anxiety autism and depression and maybe I'm secretly wildly into all sorts of weird sex but if so right now I'm most definitely not. so I'm working with what I am interested in right now. and it isn't dating. so I'm just gonna let that "question" disappear and focus on my anxiety and depression and what I can do about them.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Searching4Sunset

I've dealt with very mild to moderate level depression (though never debilitating) for the past ~5 years but also started defining myself as asexual in the same time period, so I figured I'd add my 2 cents.

I think you can define your sexuality even when your in the midst of depression.

Even though aspects of my personality did change, I always thought of certain symptoms and temporary. I felt like I could differentiate who I was in my core versus who my depression was making me. I also continued to experience romantic attraction.

For me, the label asexual isn't an active part of my personality, it's a term that finally let me put to rest some of the questions about my sexuality and made the whole issue a bit of a non-issue. With my depression, I had a sense that certain things were "not me." For example, I dealt with lack of motivation and withdrew from many of my hobbies, which felt like a whole in my life or that something was missing. I never felt that way with sexuality, like my sexual attraction was somehow missing. You can't miss something you never had.

Right now I'm dealing with a similar situation, only with my romantic attraction, which is currently MIA. This time though, I feel this slight "sadness," because something that's been with me (even though it's a small part of who I am) is not here. In other words, what I'm trying to say is that I think we often have an knowledge of who we are (not that that can't change, but that's a whole different issue), and that a disease or mental illness doesn't change that.

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I really like searching4sunset's response.

I've been dealing with dysthymia (long term depression) and major depressive disorder since I hit my early teens. I have only recently begun treatment for it.

I find this conversation very interesting because this is what my family thinks is "wrong with me" (they have no idea that I've been thinking I'm asexual for a while now). They seem to think once I'm not horribly depressed all the time I'll start dating again and whatever. I believed that for a long time, and I there's still a very large part of me that hopes I'll just wake up tomorrow and be a sexual person, I just don't think its going to happen.

For me, when I'm in an incredibly depressed state, I have a complete loss of libido, but my feelings towards sexual activity don't change (no thank you). So even when I'm at my least depressed I still have no interest in sex.

Then again, I've only been feeling better since I started medication, and one of the side effects is loss of interest in sex, so could it be that I've just been depressed for so long, and I should be feeling an interest in it now that I'm better, but the medication isn't letting that happen? Sure, that could be the case!

But the only data I have for myself tells me that I have never felt an interest in sex under any circumstances, and considering that I'm a young person in college, that feeling is very isolating. Finding out that asexuality is a thing was an amazing moment for me, when I thought that I didn't have to force myself to try and be sexual anymore because I wasn't broken!

So I guess what I'm saying is that whether or not depressed people wouldn't be ace if they weren't depressed is kind of besides the point- if what they're feeling is a lack of desire for sex and they feel upset and broken because they think that they're the only one, then I hope that they find out about asexuality and join the community, even if they change their identification once they feel better. Mostly because I think that the fewer people who feel isolated and broken, the better the world will be.

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If anything, phases in which my depression gets really bad (currently still going through one, despite medication) noticeably increase the frequency at which I masturbate.

My desire for partnered sex is constantly at the zero flatline it's been all my life, no matter whether I'm acutely depressed or feeling relatively at ease with myself and the world; my libido, however, is higher when depressed.

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My desire for partnered sex is constantly at the zero flatline it's been all my life, no matter whether I'm acutely depressed or feeling relatively at ease with myself and the world; my libido, however, is higher when depressed.

Well that's interesting, the libido thing is completely opposite for me.

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My desire for partnered sex is constantly at the zero flatline it's been all my life, no matter whether I'm acutely depressed or feeling relatively at ease with myself and the world; my libido, however, is higher when depressed.

Well that's interesting, the libido thing is completely opposite for me.

Well, from what I've heard, yours seems to be the far more common variant. :cake:

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I think it's important to be able to grow, and if you can't identify and question things about who you are you cannot really grow all that quickly.

maybe if depression is temporary, some of the things you declared about yourself you'll realize aren't necessarily true. but that's prettymuch OK and kinda the definition of growth. and, it's pretty important to be able to make those declarations in the first place, that to be afraid to make them because they might be wrong, can quickly freeze you in place.

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I'm both asexual and currently suffering from severe depression. I don't really think there can be any connection for me though, because even during periods of my life when I wasn't feeling depressed, I still felt the same (non-existent) level of sexual attraction and repulsion towards sex. So in my case, I have no qualms about accurately "diagnosing" my asexuality despite the fact that I've been suffering from depression since I started identifying that way.

Even if I hadn't had those periods of not being depressed, I still think I would want to call myself asexual. Perhaps for some people asexuality (or symptoms of asexuality) might be caused by depression, and for others the two might be completely disjoint, but that doesn't stop the person from feeling like they are asexual. If someone's depression has lasted from a long age, then (at least in my opinion), they shouldn't have to put all guesses about their orientation on hold until/unless they are cured.

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