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Asexuals or grey Asexuals who want to be sexual or more sexual.


Billie girl

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Hi Everyone!

This is a topic for those that are or consider themselves as asexual or grey asexual that would like for their libidos to change. There is an answer and I spent years thinking something was wrong with me and why didn't things turn me on the way it seemed to turn others on. I am sharing this information not to bring up opposition, but to help others that want a sexual desire and want to know what that feels like. I can tell you when it does happen for me it is amazing!!! I personally and most likely most asexuals and grey asexuals DO fall into this category and don't even know it. I am in no way trying to change you and if you are happy just the way you are by all means live well and happy, I love all of you just the way you are. For most people they create something called a sexual binding hormone globulin hormone only in small amounts. People with low libido produce mass quantities of the stuff. (SHBG) is found by testing your blood by a bio identical MD or an endocrinologist. This test measures the level of sex hormone binding globulin in your blood. SHBG is a protein made by your liver. It binds tightly to 3 sex hormones found in both men and women. These hormones are estrogen; dihydrotestosterone (DHT), and testosterone. Let me give you a mental visual. picture a sifter and sand can freely run through it reaching it's destination in which all the sand goes into a bottle. The sand in this example is SHBG. It has to REACH the bottle and when it gets into the bottle it then would be how you as a sexual person would get turned on or sexually aroused. Problem is that asexuals and grey asexuals make either WAY too much or not enough at all. I make 3 times the amount of SHBG than most people! I make concrete out of the sand so to speak where by in large it can't get through the sifter to the receptors! I also do not make enough testosterone. These 2 things go hand in hand. I am a female and yes we make testosterone. I don't make enough to even have a sexual thought. Fatigue and muscle fatigue goes with this. There are only 2 kinds of doctors that can test you for this. Bio identical doctors or endocrinologists period! If your regular physician tells you they can test you don't believe this. The test they use does not pick up on people like us at all. Again, if you are getting any hormone tested, please go to a bio identical MD or endocrinologist. Don't waist your time or money on other doctors like I have. There is a book I can suggest and it is by Ken G. Knott MD called Dangerous Medicine, "What your Doctor Doesn't know can Hurt You". It is expensive to go to these doctors and insurance typically does not cover the cost. It can cost around $4000.00 to be treated for this in the first year due to all of the testing you have to do. IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY! I feel better in general when I take my hormones. My joints don't hurt as bad, I get aroused and I feel a lot more energy! Like I said, you decide weather or not you want to change you. No one has the right to ask you to change if you are comfortable being you. I thought I would post this because of the people searching for an answer. I hope this post was helpful in someone's life. If I can answer any questions feel free to ask me. If I can't answer your question I will be upfront and tell you I can't, but I will help you if I can to find an answer.

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And here I am, just chilling and wishing I could donate my libido to someone who wants one. :lol:

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Miss Anne Thrope

This is interesting, and I'm sure it can help some people. But remember that getting a libido will not stop you from being asexual. I'm asexual, and I certainly have a libido.

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I am asexual and I have a very high libido lol, I just have no interest in having partnered sex and don't enjoy it when I do have it. Asexuality isn't about a lack of libido. If you have no libido but wish you could have one so you can have and enjoy partnered sex, that's not actually asexual. That's just a sexual person who needs hormone treatment.

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That is not entirely true. You personally have no right to tell people that. There are alot of areas here and you fit only one criteria in that area and I fit another, but same area. There are many people on this forum that if by chance they could meet in the middle with someone in a marriage like myself would want this info. Please do not make a generalization like that. People want answers and this may help them. You personally may fit a definition, but until you get tested you can't fully even agree with your own statement. How do you know that if you were lacking certain hormones that could possibly make you feel differently, meaning turn what your thoughts are 180 degrees? Be mindful that alot of people on this forum are going through what I go through daily. I am not here to deny you of how you feel nor you should with me. I would rather you help than hinder. Like I said before, I am not here to change anyone, but you and everyone should keep an open mind that asexuality is not that cut and dry and therefore should be looked at it under the scope of learning or else we are limiting ourselves.

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Oh no, I mean I have had my hormones tested, multiple times. I have a (high) fully functioning libido and my body works the same as any other healthy person's body (genitals included) I just have no interest in having sex and don't enjoy it when I do have it. There are lots of asexuals and grey-asexuals like me with similar experiences, male and female (because sometimes people think any male could enjoy sex if he can get a boner, but women must have some sort of ''special issue'' if they can't enjoy it, totally incorrect in most cases when it comes to asexuality but I hear it a lot) .. Myself and others like me have a libido we just have no interest in having sex for our own personal physical pleasure (but some do have sex to make a sexual partner happy or to have a baby or whatever) :)

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Billie - can I ask if you have any connection to any organisation that would benefit from promoting this therapy?

A quick Google has given me 10 pages of results which all look like classic libido snake oil sites, dodgy sports drugs sales, and sock puppet blogs to me. The only peer reviewed paper on anything close said results weren't clear enough to draw any conclusions from SHBG therapy (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10695868).

What would your comments be on that?

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No, I am not affiliated with any organization. I just wanted to help people because I know what it is like to be frustrated. This site is suppose to help people and that is why I am here.

The article that you linked to was an article published in 2000. It is the end of 2015. Medicine has come along way in 15 years. As far as what the article is stating it is talking about the effects of birth control on women. I do not take birth control and can not really give my opinion on it. What I can say is I have been married for 19 years to the same man who has a huge libido. I have no libido unless I get hormone therapies and at massive quantities. I can look at people and say that person looks nice in a non sexual manner while everyone else is drooling. I drool over cheese cake, but not people lol. I have absolutely no desire to have sex, think about sex, be really attracted to someone other than, I just want to cuddle and hang out. I could go without sex indefinitely. The only thing that has helped is the hormones and I kept going to find an answer for my husband. It took me thousands of dollars, therapist bull and the like telling me I was crazy or weird because I somehow didn't find what they did think was appealing. I have sex with my husband only for him as a selfless act. Hormones do make the difference for some, not everyone. Asexuality, says it is sometimes is void of libido. WHY IS THAT? Even with hormones people don't suddenly become irresistible to me. So, please understand this is here to help people and if I can reiterate one thing, these tests can not be ran by a regular MD. You have to see someone that isn't going to give you a simple hormone test. They say they can test for all of this and it is not true. You will be wasting your time, money and efforts.

No, but it can be apart of it!

@PanFicto, I must ask, who tested you for hormones? As I said before, regular physicians said I was the most perfect person they have seen in their office when they ran their hormone tests which are substandard test by the way. Problem with these doctors is their test are not geared to look at what is the underlying hormones are doing. The test they have only test the surface of the hormone which can only show very little of what is actually going on. The test I took you have to pay for out of your pocket. Insurance does not cover them and they cost around $4000 on average and look through the top surface all the way through each individual hormone unlike the other tests.

PanFicto, what you said about "There are lots of asexuals and grey asexuals like me with similar experiences, male and female ( Because sometime people think any male could enjoy sex if he can get a boner, but women must have some sort of" special issue" if they can't enjoy it, totally incorrect in most cases when it comes to asexuality, abut I hear it a lot). I agree with you 100% there. What I am saying I am void of all you have going on and then minus the libido you have on top of what you experience. The only things these hormones do for me is it makes me at least want to. It may not be with anyone, but at least I have an urge. Like I said before, if this helps someone in their relationship where if they are in a relationship with a very sexual person, then that is all I am trying to assist with. I have personally lived in hell trying to be in a relationship and totally clam up because I don't want sex from anybody. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me! Why couldn't I have a normal relationship like most? Why didn't I find people attractive or want them in a particular way? Like I said if this helps someone even a little bit, then as far as I am concerned they can call it whatever. The greater good was done.

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I too went through hell in my first relationship (which was 5 years long) as an unidentified asexual with a sexual person. I went to a lot of different doctors and clinics to find out what was wrong, why I didn't enjoy sex, and no one could give me an answer. I am extremely healthy, am aroused more often than many men I know (and have to masturbate to get rid of it because it won't go away on it's own) I eat healthy and I exercise every day, I do find people attractive (as in ''daaaamn you look so good I want to eat you nom'') and I desire sensual intimacy like cuddling, kissing.. all sorts of things. I just have no interest in having partnered sex and when I *do* have it (like I did with my ex) I just can't get anything out of it because it doesn't *feel* good to me, the sensations aren't *good* even if I am aroused. No amount of hormone treatment can change the fact that my genitals just don't enjoy being in contact with any part of another persons body, same way no kind of treatments can force someone to enjoy a foot massage.. if you're someone who doesn't enjoy foot massages then nothing can change that..

Anyone who knows me well will tell you I am a horny pervert other than being asexual lol. So it's not just tests that were done on me that prove I am healthy, it's my own life experience too that make me know I am healthy. Asexuality isn't a medical condition that can be cured. Even if you do have a low libido and are perfectly happy with that, having a low libido is a medical condition, not asexuality (though sure there are asexuals with low libido just as there are hetero/homo/pan/bisexuals with low libido) .. Libido doesn't define your sexual orientation.

Anyway, that's great that the hormones helped you, sure, and if they can help someone else that's also great.. But asexuality itself obviously cannot be cured with hormone treatment, only hormone issues can be cured with hormone treatment.

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