TheFlamboyantAsexual Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hey guys I'm an ace guy and I'm new to the whole "asexual thing" and I believe I am asexual, but I have moments when I reconsider because I really want to have that intimacy level with someone by having sexual, but I don't want to because I'm ace and it's very conflicting, obviously. I just want to share that level of love and closeness that sex can offer, without the actual sex, and I don't know how. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
TheFlamboyantAsexual Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Oh and I'm 16 in high school for some additional background info Link to post Share on other sites
Raina. Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hi there! I've definitely been just as confused as you in the past; hell, I'm still confused at my asexuality sometimes cause it's pretty hard to meet someone who's on the ace spectrum or is willing to have a relationship without sex. You're definitely not alone in that. <3To me, there's plenty of love/closeness in just cuddling, etc. Conversations, being able to be yourself. Hell, even do absolutely nothing together. Just bask in the fact that you're together. Knowing you love eachother very much and that there's no sex needed to validate it! Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hi there! I've definitely been just as confused as you in the past; hell, I'm still confused at my asexuality sometimes cause it's pretty hard to meet someone who's on the ace spectrum or is willing to have a relationship without sex. You're definitely not alone in that. <3 To me, there's plenty of love/closeness in just cuddling, etc. Conversations, being able to be yourself. Hell, even do absolutely nothing together. Just bask in the fact that you're together. Knowing you love eachother very much and that there's no sex needed to validate it! We kinda feel the same as well as most asexuals here XD I like your definition of love, it matches both platonic and romantic interests, it's love described in it's true form. :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 If you desire sex then that's not asexual. At the very least that's Gray-A. Do you not want to act on your desire for sex because you have no sexual attraction or because you react badly to the reciprocation? Sexual people desire sex for other reasons than just sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFlamboyantAsexual Posted November 26, 2015 Author Share Posted November 26, 2015 If you desire sex then that's not asexual. At the very least that's Gray-A. Do you not want to act on your desire for sex because you have no sexual attraction or because you react badly to the reciprocation? Sexual people desire sex for other reasons than just sexual attraction. No, I don't want to act on it, I just feel like perhaps I'm missing something by not partaking in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Well, it's really your choice to partake in your desires or not. Please don't let peer pressure influence you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 There is a mistake is society that sex= intimacy. It doesn't. You can have a really intimate connection with someone and it doesn't have to have anything to do with sex. It's not something you can manufacture- you really have to find someone that you connect with on every level and develop a deep level of trust and understanding for each other. Actually, without that kind of connection outside of sex, sex in and of itself can leave you feeling really empty. Link to post Share on other sites
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