NekoInk Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hi guys! I've come out to a few of my friends and they all took it really well and have been asking questions (which I love! Means they are at least curious lol) however...one or two have asked about kids, knowing I always wanted them and one has said that that's off the cards now, am I upset? Now I know rationally it isn't off the cards, there are all kinds of options etc and I told her that. But I was wondering if anyone had any personal experience about this? Any asexual parents out there ? Or is it something that most don't consider? Thanks! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Well I dont know any asexual parent. However sexual parents who are otherwise incapable of biologically having kids have opted for adoption and I know a case of a couple who has had 3 adoptions done already with children of different ethnicities. So I dont think that asexuality would be an inhibitor to having kids. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NekoInk Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 I didn't think so either, I kindof found it odd that she asked you know? Cause even parents who have sex but cannot have use in-vitro or adopt etc so why should it be an issue for me? Just thought I'd ask though :) See if anyone had kids or been asked the same xD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Well, I'm not a parent, but there are tons of asexual parents in AVEN, oh well couples, u could adopt kids or make out or you could try an surrogate, even through its expensive, and about making out, doing it for an asexual is ok just think about doing it for having ur own kids, it wouldn't be OK if u were an apothisexual (asexual with sex aversion), but having children is is a great experience, all u need is the conditions for raising them even if u are doing it alone, u just need good or average economical conditions and well the most important part, the emotional condition, you don't have to think about children right now if you don't think u r prepared for such responsibilities, anyway a children will depend on u and it's rly hard to think about these kind of decisions, just analyze how ur life is going and if it's the right moment to raise children and u'll be fine, nobody is rly rdy for having kids tbh. XD But living is experiencing. If u r good with children, u can think of having kids alone too if that's ur case, u don't need and partner for that technically. Hope I have helped. Have some cake. :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NekoInk Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Well, I'm not a parent, but there are tons of asexual parents in AVEN, oh well couples, u could adopt kids or make out or you could try an surrogate, even through its expensive, and about making out, doing it for an asexual is ok just think about doing it for having ur own kids, it wouldn't be OK if u were an apothisexual (asexual with sex aversion), but having children is is a great experience, all u need is the conditions for raising them even if u are doing it alone, u just need good or average economical conditions and well the most important part, the emotional condition, you don't have to think about children right now if you don't think u r prepared for such responsibilities, anyway a children will depend on u and it's rly hard to think about these kind of decisions, just analyze how ur life is going and if it's the right moment to raise children and u'll be fine, nobody is rly rdy for having kids tbh. XD But living is experiencing. If u r good with children, u can think of having kids alone too if that's ur case, u don't need and partner for that technically. Hope I have helped. Have some cake. :D haha thanks! I've always felt that kids were for me you know? Obviously when I am ready for them and not doing uni course :L Have no time or cash for such things right now but in the future I hope so :) As I told my friend, I can do sperm banks etc if I'm alone or maybe if I meet the right guy we can try what works for us! I just found it so odd that she was like 'Well you can't now!' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Well I was already asked if I wanted to have kids too, I told my friends I would either have 50 cats XD. But in fact I would like adopting kids, it wouldn't be an tradicional family since I'm agender and due to my romantic orientation I would have to raise kids by my own, oh well but it's not my decision, when I find a soul-mate or however it's called we decide bc I wouldn't fit as as a father or as a mother. DX Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 No experience with this, not an "asexual" parent, and don't want children. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Peachyy Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I have no desire for children but its not as though I despise them or find the idea of being a parent a terrible thing. I dont want to be one, but I feel like that doesn't have anything to do with my sexuality. I know it doesn't. Im not sure there was even a time when sexual people truly were like, "intercourse is for reproduction". So for non-asexual people to somehow pretend that they dont use contraceptives or have sex for pleasure, and try and play the "without sex you must not want children" card, is hilarious. If an asexual cant parent children because they don't have sex, then the opposite should be true for non-Asexuals. Where are all their ~happy~ children? How dare they not have children, and dont they want more? No, because sex is not about reproduction and reproduction is not parenthood. Did they just forget about all the options out there? Just for you, apparently. "I didn't know Asexuals could contact a surrogate" "I didnt know that Asexuals could use artificial insemination" . Nah, our bodies reject anything about children. I dont even know what "child" means, I only understand cake. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieMae Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Wanting children is a HUMAN desire regardless of sexuality. I'm in the same boat. I want children too Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 No experience with parenthood, but there are asexuals who are parents. Some have also mentioned that they don't want sex, but want to have biological children, or they may adopt or use surrogacy. Here's a thread for asexual parents and their experiences: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/70675-asexual-parents-thread/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keumi Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I think there is a thread somewhere about asexual parents! I don't have experience personally, but I do plan to have kids myself one day. I've heard of those who are sex repulsed or prefer to remain sexless also adopt. People have so many misconceptions about being asexual, though this always seemed like one of the sillier ones to me. There are plenty of options for having kids, asexuality doesn't change that. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marauders Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I was going to comment and say that we have a thread somewhere around here for/about asexual parents, but Aqua-ace and Keumi already beat me to it, haha. Aside from that, though, I was just going to say that I definitely do not think that having children would be "off the cards" to you. As you already acknowledged in your original post, there are plenty of options for us to have children! I'm a bit partial to the idea of adoption, personally--the idea of giving a home to a child that does not have one really appeals to me, and also I am terrified of actually giving birth myself--but there are plenty of other routes and options available to you! :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Hi guys! I've come out to a few of my friends and they all took it really well and have been asking questions (which I love! Means they are at least curious lol) however...one or two have asked about kids, knowing I always wanted them and one has said that that's off the cards now, am I upset? Now I know rationally it isn't off the cards, there are all kinds of options etc and I told her that. But I was wondering if anyone had any personal experience about this? Any asexual parents out there ? Or is it something that most don't consider? Thanks! personally while I'm asexual (and aromantic) I have wanted kids in the past and it's something I still consider an option someday. I'd want a partner before I consider kids, and like you said there are plenty of options. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Sounds like your friends are confusing asexual and celibate. Being asexual doesn't prevent from having sex at all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rh1985 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I always wanted to be a mom. I did IVF with donor sperm and had a daughter. She is amazing, I'm so thankful to be her mom, and I am so happy I went ahead with it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nikarose7 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I want to have kids eventually. Whether I am married or not I am planning on adopting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TEBO Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I think I am a homoromantic asexual, and I definitely want to have kids. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NekoInk Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Thanks guys! :) Sorry for late reply! Different friend having huge drama over dating her sister's husband's brother and her parents found out and sh*t hit the fan! Been dealing with the fallout of that for the last few days!! xD I think I am a homoromantic asexual, and I definitely want to have kids. I want to have kids eventually. Whether I am married or not I am planning on adopting. I always wanted to be a mom. I did IVF with donor sperm and had a daughter. She is amazing, I'm so thankful to be her mom, and I am so happy I went ahead with it. That's how I feel. I've always had the little voice at the back of my head telling me that kids are in my future (I'm not mad I swear :P My Mother had me tested!), just a little feeling that I'm meant to be a mum one day :) I like the idea of adoption too but I want my own as well; I love the whole idea of pregnancy and giving birth yourself (if I ever am pregnant and in the throws of labour I may be going "What did I sign up for! Gas and air now!" ) haha Thanks everyone though :) Really helped! I knew myself that there were options, it was more "Am I the only one" who wants kids cause I know a fair few aces who are like "No, ew. Never!!!" but course that may be nothing to do with their sexuality and simply be there inbuilt view. My best friend is sexual but god if she had kids...she'd hate it. I asked her once when we were about 17 what she'd do if she found out she was pregnant and without a pause or anything she said, "Get rid of it" so we all knew she was not to be a mum! xD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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