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May be experiencing sexual attraction... and I don't know what to do about it...


scarletlatitude

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scarletlatitude

I am definitely some sort of gray-asexual. I experience sexual attraction maybe twice a year. I can count the number of people I have been sexually attracted to without going into double digits.

I'm also not particularly romantic. I don't like all of that mushy lovey stuff. I think I would have to trust someone A LOT in order to ever be that kind of vulnerable with them, sexual or otherwise.

Now this happened to me yesterday/today...

I was working with some coworkers at the middle school. I got paired with a 8th grade science teacher, and we are working on aligning their curriculum to the high school curriculum so that it's a more even flow. Right now it's all a mess and kids come to the high school with little to no science knowledge.

The man that I was paired with, I'd say I am mildly attracted. It's nothing that I would act on... and besides, we've known each other for all of one day. This morning though, I went to the gas station to get coffee and breakfast, and he was there too. My brain did the teenage girl thing where it goes woah hey alert guy over there woo get it. And I awkwardly got my coffee and snuck out of the building.

This happens to me every so often, and like I said, I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what people do when this happens to them. I kind of feel like I don't even know this guy, so I shouldn't do anything right now. I kind of feel like I should try something, maybe next time I see him. But then I also feel like hey, I've done this before, and as soon as the dude finds out that I'm an ace, the whole thing crashes down, so why bother. If he's interested, let him come to me.

Ehh, I dunno. This was more of a rant and thinking while typing more than anything else... but if anyone has words of wisdom, I will take them. :) I've been in a lot of shitty relationships and I'm not worried about waiting it out, or waiting until I am sure.

tl;dr -- Attracted to a dude, don't know what to do, hasn't worked out in the past, #asexualproblems, halp :P

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butterflydreams

Admittedly, I don't know anything about this subject. You saw my other thread ;)

That said, the one thing I would suggest is not waiting for him to maybe or maybe not come around. If you have a gut feeling, go for it. It seems like you have something in your head about how you feel.

This is all very "pot, meet kettle" coming from me, but don't worry about the ace thing. You don't know how this new person will react to it, even if others reacted poorly. In this case, do you even know how much it applies? You say your grey-A, so maybe this is an instance where things will all click "properly" and your asexuality won't even come into the picture.

Life is short. You seem to have some kind of in here with this person. My personal opinion, go for it. :)

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You don't know him, but your brain is telling you that you should. It's all "psst, Scarlet, THAT GUY. THAT'S THE GUY TO TALK TO." Your brain probably has reasons for telling you this... but there's only one way to find out! You gotta get to know the gent. Very infrequently do things actually work out... that's just life... and anyway, you're just getting to know him. Maybe you won't even like him once you get to know him better. Who knows. Personally, I've found that when my brain demands someone, I usually end up really really liking them.

But again... there's only one way to find out.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well. You have only known him for a short time - maybe you want to get to know him a little more or find out about him through mutual friends or work or something? I get it. You kind of want something to happen but also you're afraid of it not working out. If i were one of THOSE people I would say "GO OUT LIVE UR LIFE WITH NO REGRETS!!!!" but I do understand, it's okay to not be ready.

Having said that it sounds like you are interested in him, so maybe it is worth finding out what kind of guy he is. If you like what you see then go forth and prosper. if you're a grey like me (probably), then i'd be quite excited to have a rare attraction :P

good luck my child

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Well, there's two options. One is ignore it and go on with life, because I'm very sure it will go away with time. Two is go talk to him and see where it leads.

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