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Asexuality & Porn & Fandoms


ckkta

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Hey

So im sure this question is answered in some q&a somewhere but it personal, im still coming to grips with my identity so I would love to be able to talk more open about it.

I'm pretty sure I identify as asexual, I have been sexually active in my teens did not enjoy it (peer pressure) and have not been so again for past 6 years, however I do get pleasure from reading fanfiction with sexual situations and some porn (latter rare), its like i can enjoy sexuality as long as its not actually me...

I

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Hmm.... that sounds VERY familiar. You can be asexual and enjoy porn or sexually explicit stories. I know I do. The idea of sex (as long as I'm not involved) doesn't really bother me. It's when it gets real that I need to take a step back.

There's nothing wrong with being a sex-positive ace, which it sounds like you might be. Hell, there are even people who identify as asexual that enjoy sex.

If you are comfortable using the label asexual, then go for it. :)

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Interesting, I like the way you´ve phrased it because that is exactly how I feel about porn/sexual stories as well. And I thought that I was very positive to the notion of sex until I was confronted with the idea directly, only then did I realize that sex didn´t really interest me, and that my body as well didn´t care much for it. But it was, and still is, slightly weird that sex, when not applied to me, is no real issue, and at some times something I can enjoy. It´s kind of confusing, but it´s nice to know that someone else feels it this way.

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This is a common experience for many asexuals, especially people with a libido. Porn is still rooted in fantasy, which is quite different from actual sex. Fantasising about something is different from actually wanting it, else I'm pretty sure everyone would be all shades of weird sexualities.

I personally am also one of those who like porn.

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That my friend can be known as Autochorissexual (something I partially identify as), where as a third party viewer (if you will) to fanfiction, videos etc, you get aroused but do you want it in real life? nah. I hope this might shed some light on your situation?

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It's a common description of a lot of people, myself included. asexuality refers to attraction, not function.

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Interesting, I like the way you´ve phrased it because that is exactly how I feel about porn/sexual stories as well. And I thought that I was very positive to the notion of sex until I was confronted with the idea directly, only then did I realize that sex didn´t really interest me, and that my body as well didn´t care much for it. But it was, and still is, slightly weird that sex, when not applied to me, is no real issue, and at some times something I can enjoy. It´s kind of confusing, but it´s nice to know that someone else feels it this way.

So glad for all the replies so fast, its good to see people in the same boat.

Lysvet, your experience of sex positivity until confronted with it is something I really identify with - during my teen years it became apparent to me something was different because despite liking the concept of sex, more reading about it than in any other medium, the idea of having sex with my then boyfriend became a big issue, I wanted it for other people, but just not for me at all.

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Yeah, this is me, and it confused me for the longest time. I'd read fanfiction/erotica or watch porn and enjoy it, but I never naturally fantasized about having sex myself or looked at a person and thought "wow, I'd really like to do x to them." I could force myself to think that way, but it was just kind of...boring? Which was also my experience of sex, once I'd been in a couple of relationships. I could always think of something I'd rather be doing, and it seemed like a waste of time, since if I wanted to get off, I could take care of that myself. But I thought I couldn't possibly be on the asexual spectrum because I did experience sexual arousal and did enjoy some sexual/erotic things.

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Yep, I can definitely relate. This is one reason it took me so long to realize I was ace. I've been reading fanfic for years, and have always enjoyed some of the erotic stuff. But until I read a thread here recently about autochorissexualism, I'd never made the connection that my fantasies never involve me, and generally I borrow characters and situations from fanfic to populate said fantasies. Real people, nooooo ;)

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Many asexuals would look at porn and/or read fanfiction. As long as you are not sexually attracted to anyone, you are still asexual.

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Lady Bookwyrm

I've been active in online fandoms for a long, long time, and I do enjoy the occasional sexual content, but I also get bored and frustrated pretty easily when a fandom gets sidetracked with that kind of thing. Like, yeah, these two characters look nice naked together, I guess, but can we talk about characterization, symbolism, and themes, too? ;) There's so much more to life (and fandom)!

But I do relate to the OP, too. You can absolutely still enjoy that kind of content and be ace.

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I can completely relate. I enjoy a good smut fic enough that I spent a lot of younger years thinking I'm was a very sexual person.

It's like you said, it's better when it's in fantasy involving people who are not me.

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