Have You Ever Fallen In Love?

[Apollonius]

Just a question, I have before when I was in high school it was complicated never really in a relationship. I loved him for who knows how long i finally got over him officially this year which is a bit sad in my part. Still have him on facebook as a friend I don't talk to him but seeing him happy makes me feel happy. Now that I can officially say I AM FREE.

[NashinHayes]

I have as well, the summer between junior and senior year of high school - the guy was a total sweet-heart but we never really became official anything. We are still good friends and i am ready to move on to the next when (and if) they come along.

[Kaitlin💜]

I have twice. I never really "got over" the first guy, I guess; I always have a little part of my brain that reminds me of how I once felt whenever I hear about him or see his name. Love is just a complicated emotion! I'm glad you feel free, though! :)

[Yatogami]

I have never fallen in love, but people fall in love with me. This confuses me, and I end up being a shitty partner for them in the end. Yeah for being Aromantic. Not that I am blaming my aromanticism for my unfortunate relationships...but when people find out I am more of a close friend than lover. They kind of drift.

[Sarmandia]

Yup. And we had the perfect relationship. It's hard to find that when you're an akoiromantic asexual. But I ruined it. I'm still not completely over it. I probably would be if it wasn't for guilt. Oh well, gotta learn from mistakes.

[Frigid Pink]

Yes, I have, and more than once.

[Mycroft is Yourcroft]

Yes, a few times. It's always very sudden, then takes months (or years) to fully get over.

[Oddball-Meo]

Yes, I have. In fact I've been dating the person I fell in love with for 4 years now. Before him though I had crushes. Don't know if any of those crushes ever counted as falling in love because I never saw myself being anything more with them than friends or a brief period of dating.

[Ph03n1xF1r3]

I've been in love twice.

I dated the first guy on and off for two years. The relationship wasn't very healthy on either side, so he finally broke it off after we graduated.

The second time I fell in love was with my husband. I met him in May of 2005 and married him in October of 2005. It was one of those "you just know" moments. :)

I hope everyone who wants it will find love in their life. It can be messy and aggravating, but it's totally worth it.

[El-not-so-ace]

I did twice with various crushes in between. I messed up the first one though since I was too young and immature, so I just cut it off in a very immature way. I still feel a bit bad sometimes, but hey, I was young and I've never been like that ever again. The thing is that I usually doubt whether I really love the person or not because of my insecurities, so it always bugs me even if I know I really love them.

[words are futile devices]

I've been in love twice. The first time was with one of my college best friends, who had romantic feelings for me which I initially rejected. The thing was that I loved him so much, and I loved our friendship, but the thought of being with him romantically was too scary/unnatural for me. I never understood why I couldn't bring myself to say yes to a relationship, or even a simple date, but yet the thought of him being with someone else was so heartbreaking. It caused a lot of internal conflict between my emotions. (This was before I discovered asexuality/aromanticism, when my desires/lack thereof still confused the hell out of me.) I did finally admit my feelings for him a couple of years later, and tell him I loved him and what not, and he told me he loved me too, and that he was still willing to try something with me. It was one of the most emotional nights of my life. Things didn't work out, though; I came to discover that at this time he was actually in a serious relationship with another girl, and hadn't bothered to mention that minor detail to me. It took me another good year to fully get over him, but I finally did.

I'm currently in love with a former co-worker whom I met almost a year ago. I've had feelings for him since February, and they've continued to grow. This love I feel is often platonic but sometimes a bit romantic, depending on the day. I just care so, so much about him, and worry about him (he's got some mental health issues), and want nothing more than to always be there if he needs or wants me. It's okay if we never officially date, it's okay if we never kiss (as long as we keep hugging I'm good ^_^ ), but I want him in my life in some capacity. The thought of him not being there is searingly painful. I know that he enjoys my company and cares for me, but beyond that I'm really not sure. He doesn't ever express his emotions very clearly. My love may be unrequited or it may not; that can cause a little bit of turmoil at times, but I'm not a needy person. And I'm 100% hopelessly independent. I can hold my own just fine. But I love him and I want to help him and I care about him immensely. No other person has ever made me feel so deeply or intensely the way he does.

[oldgeeza]

I have loved, but I don't think I have ever been in love, friendly relationships last forever with me, I love my friends dearly, but as for relationships with intimacy, my longest relationship only lasted 28 days, in the back of my mind I thought it would end up like the rest, it did, she was having another relationship at the same time, that was over 20 years ago, I always put it down to a lack of sex drive, I stayed single, at 40, I discovered the term asexuality which described me, realising that, and having been single for so long, I just remained single and look but don't touch

[Noire]

Yes, in fact, I'm still in love with the person. I guess I've had crushes before, but never liked someone for real before. So... Yeah, it's the first time I've truly loved someone, probably.

He's a close internet friend of mine, we met IRL around one year ago, he is somewhat older than me and I'm liking him for soon to be one year and two months. Beginning of this month he confessed to me so yes, it's requited, and it seems he likes me for about as much time as I like him, but we agreed to talk about this IRL when we meet again next month.

No idea where this is headed to and I preferred this to not get anywhere and just be an unrequited love, was pretty prepared for the unrequited outcome overall so him confessing caught me off guard. Pretty confused due to my way to deal with love and with my romantic orientation in general and a bit... I guess afraid...? Welp. Anyways, kind of afraid since he is sexual. Oh well, l'll only know where the hell this will end up next month.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I have not, but I've felt love so strongly I've cried in happiness just at knowing them. I seem to straddle the lines between platonic and limerence every now and then, but it still doesn't "feel" romantic. I wonder if there's a platonic form of limerence, or maybe I'm just excitable :P

[Squirrel Combat]

I have been, intensely. But every time it happened, the girl returned the affection by taking my heart, popping it in the oven, broiling it, then garnishing it with tomatoes, Swiss cheese, jelly doughnuts, and then relieving themselves of diarrhea on top before serving it to me. <_<

[Mr. Quickhands]

Yes, I can now legitimately say that I know what it's like to fall in love, and it makes me really happy.

Before that, I can say with certainty that I've never previously fallen in love, despite having been in multiple relationships. I never even used the word in its romantic meaning in reference to myself until pretty recently. It never crossed my mind. I can say that I've been infatuated at least once before, but that's a very different feeling. Infatuation is a really strong feeling, but it definitely feels artificial. Hits hard and fades pretty quick. In hindsight, I didn't really like the idea of being infatuated. Being in love feels similarly strong, but the strong feelings feel secondary to, well, actually being in love with another person's attributes, flaws, and their whole character. There's an identifiable underlying desire for the other person to be your partner in crime, so to speak. It's easy to imagine infatuation fading, it's not easy imagining love fading.

[Guest]

Yup, several times.

I don't get over love, really. I thought that was more common than I guess it is, but my feelings don't really go away. They fade, yes, and they move to the very background of my mind, but I still love everyone I've ever loved. I may not be in love with them, I don't want to be with any of them again, but I still feel love for them. Tis what tis.

[Frigid Pink]

I don't get over love, really. I thought that was more common than I guess it is, but my feelings don't really go away. They fade, yes, and they move to the very background of my mind, but I still love everyone I've ever loved. I may not be in love with them, I don't want to be with any of them again, but I still feel love for them. Tis what tis.

Same for me.

[Guest]

Whatever that term means, I guess?

I've had crushes/romantic obsessions literally dozens of times, if that's what's being asked.

[Per Aspera Ad Astra]

Yup, several times.

I don't get over love, really. I thought that was more common than I guess it is, but my feelings don't really go away. They fade, yes, and they move to the very background of my mind, but I still love everyone I've ever loved. I may not be in love with them, I don't want to be with any of them again, but I still feel love for them. Tis what tis.

I agree with you on this. This is exactly what I've always felt, and tried to tell people, but most would dismiss the idea, or they wouldn't understand what I meant. These people became a part of us, and I think it's only normal that the love we felt for them never entirely goes away. But it doesn't mean that we want to act on those feelings.

A part of me will always love my first boyfriend. I don't know if I was in love with him at the time, but I loved him. But it was a timid feeling at the time, and given time, it would have grown into something more. But I broke things off before that could happen, because we weren't right for each other, and it would have only led to pain somewhere down the road. He'll always be a part of me, and I often think about him, but there is no sadness involved, no nostalgia. No remorse, and no regrets. Just a peaceful feeling, because I know I did the right thing, for the both of us.

About a year ago, I fell in love with someone I met here. And she said she loved me too, that she meant it, that she'd never felt that way for anyone. But a couple of months later, she broke my heart. Shattered it into a million pieces. It took me a long time to move on, and I'm still not entirely sure that I'm entirely over what has happened. But I also know that, as much as I hate her for what she did to me, part of me will always love her. Feelings like that don't just go away. After that, I honestly though I would never be able to love anyone again. And I was so very hurt, and so very scared at the very idea to love anyone again.

And yet, surprisingly, it happened. Much sooner than I had expected, but it still happened. Now, I'm glad that I had my heart broken all these months ago, because if I hadn't, I would have never met him. And I am so very much in love with him. It's a strong feeling, and it doesn't feel scary. It feels safe, and it feels warm, and it feels right with him. And not only can I imagine a future with him, but I want that future. I want it more than anything I've ever wanted. He's the only person I want now, and for the rest of my life. I can't put words on how I feel about him, but I don't need to. I just need to feel it, and it's probably the most wonderful feeling in the world.

[Mr. Quickhands]

Ditto. (I'm normally words are more effective with)

[Ace of Diamonds]

I spent literally years being almost entirely aromantic as a protective reflex, I think, and so it took me awhile to recognize it for what it was, but I fell in love about four years ago and never fell out of it! The person was a friend I'd had for a few years online, who was also fortunately on the ace spectrum, too. I dealt with feelings of confusion and frustration at my inability to comprehend what I felt (some of which I actually posted about on this forum, haha), but things worked out in the end, and I'm now married to her!

I still feel a little stunned by the whole thing, to be honest, but in a good way. I just feel really lucky. I never thought I could be loved so completely and safely. No part of me is invalidated by her, and it's really wonderful.

I'm glad to see others on this thread found similar scenarios.

[Guest]

I would say that I have, but I've completely cut contact with the person and I have no intention of hearing of (or from) them again, because they were pretty ruthless to me nearing the end of our relationship and beyond, to the point it was getting near toxic and I had to end it to prevent further damage.

Not sure what sort of effect it'd have if I saw them again. It would probably just be awkward and I'd want out. It's a past chapter in my life and I want nothing more of it. (I can still be in love, I think, just don't want to ever have anything to do with this specific person again.)

[Hardly any]

I fell in love once. The only time I felt sexual attraction. It's pretty great, feeling needed in a way stronger than friendship.

[Semtex in August]

twice in my life

both times this thing attacked me like some kind of flu /heroin withdrawal

It was not pretty

[Bobby-no-mates]

"Have I ever fallen in love?".

Sadly, this is a question I can't answer. Firstly, what is love?. To me, it is a four letter word which is used too much in the English language. Most people associate it with a strong emotional desire for someone else. While others link it to parents. Unfortunately, I've not experienced it in either format, so I can't give my verdict.

As I've never been in a relationship of any kind, and unlikely to be, it doesn't effect me.

Sadly, a lot of people confuse "Lust" with Love.

[Nidwin]

I don't experience love, never have, nor do I understand what people mean with love in general. For me loving your parents, family, a woman, a cat, a house, my television, my job, whatever doesn't mean anything, has no sense.

[RK800]

With a person?
Nope.

You may interpret that how you want.

[inactive12345]

Two, maybe three times.

It was awful.

[Chardog]

Being not a youngster, I've redefined my definitions of both friendships and loving people over time based on life experience.. Based on my current definition, I'd say there's been two- my high school boyfriend and my current best friend (who's sort of like a queer platonic partner unofficially).