ArcerianLover Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Does anyone else get confused on how to explain how you become attracted to someone to sexual friends/family? Like I was trying to explain how I generally initially become attracted to someone based on something intellectual, interesting, or unsusual without it having anything to do with asthetic appearances and I feel like it doesn't really come across cause they think it turns me on but really it intrigues me and at that point I usually goes one of two ways happy excitement "Yay you're so cool I wanna be friends." or "You're really cool and that's drawing me in like bees to honey and I'd really like to get to know you better." But it's hard to explain to someone who instantly connects attraction with sexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Honestly I've never really tired to explain my attractions to non-ace people as it's never seemed needed. I'd say I can see where it'd be difficult as (at least in my area's culture) sex is basically what it's all about and trying to say otherwise will get you trashed. My best explanation would be 'I can want to cuddle someone, be good friends with someone, want to be with them, and love them to bits without wanting to have sex with them'. If they don't understand there's not much you can do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DannyFenton123 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I dunno. Sometimes, I see somebody and I really wanna be friends with them because they seem awesome, but that's way different from sexual attraction. I've never tried to explain it before. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArcerianLover Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 It was just me talking with my mom and my sister, who are more than excited that I'm happy and don't care how I achieve it, so I was trying to explain my perspective on it since this is all new to me and it didn't seem to get across very well. I'm not worried about it because I know that they don't have to understand to be happy for me but when they talk about guys and their attraction to them I'd like to be able to talk about how and why I'm attracted to people even if it's not sexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ciarose Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Yeah, I totally understand what you're saying! For me, the person may look nice, but I'm not attracted to them the way other people are. I notice this a lot when I'm hanging out with friends, especially when it comes to them talking about famous people. They go on and on about how hot/attractive the person looks, and I kinda just sit there like, "But did you see how great they're acting was in their last movie?!" When I was younger, my friends didn't really understand how I found people more interesting if they were intelligent or funny or whatever characteristic, and that I didn't find them physically pleasing. I think that just like it can be hard for us to understand what it's like to be sexually attracted to someone, it's hard for them to understand what the absence of that attraction would entail. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArcerianLover Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Yeah I can see that and I totally know what you mean. ^^ It does make me really glad though that my mom and sister are so supportive of me because I know my dad would never be, especially if I met another girl and wanted to take her home to meet my parents. My dad would make us stand on the other side of the room if he didn't just ask us to leave outright. And I'd never want to subject anyone to that. I love my mom and sister <3 they're amazing and as long as I'm happy they're happy. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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