Can a demisexual experience associated sexual arousal without an emotional connection?

[blue1959]

There are two types of sexual arousal:

1) Associated sexual arousal

2) Unassociated sexual arousal

Associated sexual arousal is:

When sexual arousal is associated with another person.

Unassociated sexual arousal is:

When sexual arousal is not associated with another person.

Everybody knows that a demisexual cannot experience sexual attraction without an emotional connection; but what about associated sexual arousal?

Hence the question:

Can a demisexual experience associated sexual arousal without an emotional connection?

[dissolved]

If we're assuming it's without touch (as being touched that would simply confirm that their body can respond to stimulus), then in theory, no, a demisexual wouldn't feel anything towards anyone without the emotional connection. I certainly don't.

People here will say, "arousal and attraction are different things" but I would argue that being aroused by someone, without touch, is a good indication of sexual attraction. It is a very sexual response towards a person after all.

[WhenSummersGone]

Edited: I read the question again and now I will say no. The arousal would just come from the act of sex and not because of the other person.

[chromanebula]

There's a difference between what your body does and how your mind behaves. Perhaps your body thinks this person would make a nice sex partner, based on your most primitive circuits, but your higher mind, the real you, isn't on board. This happens to me sometimes. My body will respond, but it's not the real me. In my head and in my heart of hearts, I would never desire the nitty-gritty of sex.

[blue1959]

Thank you for the replies.

Questions:

1) Is sexual desire a prelude to something else?

2) If so; what is it a prelude to?

[blue1959]

chromanebula:

The primitive circuits of your parents created your mind.

[chromanebula]

chromanebula:

The primitive circuits of your parents created your mind.

So? What are you trying to tell me?

[blue1959]

Your primitive circuits are the real you because they are associated with life energy. You can't take your mind with you after you die.

[Qwerty321]

No, they can't.

They have no attraction to people without an emotional connection, so they can expierence only unassociated arousal.

[Qwerty321]

There's a difference between what your body does and how your mind behaves. Perhaps your body thinks this person would make a nice sex partner, based on your most primitive circuits, but your higher mind, the real you, isn't on board. This happens to me sometimes. My body will respond, but it's not the real me. In my head and in my heart of hearts, I would never desire the nitty-gritty of sex.

I understand this feeling, and expierence it rather often. It's the primary attraction in its pure form. It's absolutely natural and bases on instincts.

But the essence of demisexuality is they don't expierence the primary attraction physically. You can choose not to have sex until you establish a deep emotional connection, but it wouldn't make you demisexual, as well keeping celibate wouldn't make you asexual.

[WhenSummersGone]

Edited: I read the original post again and understand what's being said now. I'm a bit tired.

[blue1959]

Thank you for the replies.

Question:

Are attraction and associated arousal the same thing?

[dissolved]

Thank you for the replies.

Question:

Are attraction and associated arousal the same thing?

No, but they're intertwined. Arousal is a good indication of attraction.

[blue1959]

dissolved:

Can a person experience sexual attraction without also experiencing sexual arousal at the same time?

[dissolved]

dissolved:

Can a person experience sexual attraction without also experiencing sexual arousal at the same time?

I can, but it depends on how strong the attraction is. In the past if I was mildly attracted to someone, I could get the mental mmmmmm of attraction, but arousal might not happen at all, or until kissing or I knew things could progress or something. The attraction to my current partner is far far stronger, so now they can occur almost simultaneously for me. I can become aroused by their voice, being in close proximity with them (let alone actually touching) or the prospect of sex with them.

[blue1959]

dissolved:

Is the mental mmmmmm a sexual experience or a non-sexual experience?

[dissolved]

I don't split apart the "different types of attraction" as people on AVEN do. I'm either attracted to someone or not, sort of all or nothing. When I am attracted, it does have a sexual element. I can appreciate the way my partner looks, for example, without it being sexual, but it can often quickly become sexual from that.

[blue1959]

dissolved:

Thank you for your participation.

You said:

but it can often quickly become sexual from that.

Question:

Are become sexual and become aroused the same thing?

[Chardog]

Arousal isn't necessarily a conscious thing. Certain actions, touch, thoughts can trigger the nervous system to go into a physical state of arousal that has nothing to do with your conscious feelings.

As far as "becoming sexual", that is pretty much deciding to consciously act on your arousal to intentionally continue it. You can ignore it, and it would eventually subside.

Can you be attracted and not aroused? Use males as an example- they can see a female on the street and mentally think she is attractive in a way that would make them want to pursue sex with her. Does this automatically cause them to get an erection (arousal)? Usually not by itself.

[Guest]

Arousal isn't necessarily a conscious thing. Certain actions, touch, thoughts can trigger the nervous system to go into a physical state of arousal that has nothing to do with your conscious feelings.

As far as "becoming sexual", that is pretty much deciding to consciously act on your arousal to intentionally continue it. You can ignore it, and it would eventually subside.

Can you be attracted and not aroused? Use males as an example- they can see a female on the street and mentally think she is attractive in a way that would make them want to pursue sex with her. Does this automatically cause them to get an erection (arousal)? Usually not by itself.

I feel crazy. I have the opposite answers to all of this.

1. Sexual attraction isn't conscious. If thinking of someone routinely arouses you, that's sexual attraction. What you consciously want to do about it is totally separate and is not relevant to your orientation. You can be absolutely repulsed by the idea of it and never want to act on it, but it's still attraction.

2. "Becoming sexual" is an underlying feeling... a draw to someone that includes an unmistakable desire to be close to them, touch them, kiss them, etc. You could not want to act on it but that doesn't make the feelings any less sexual.

3. Yes, attraction exists as a sort of underlying state, regardless of whether one is aroused. I'm attracted to my partner, but that doesn't mean I'm aroused 24/7. It also doesn't mean that I'm not attracted to them when I'm not aroused. However, so few people see someone on the street and are attracted to them, I'm not sure how helpful or relevant that answer is. Particularly since the OP is asking about demisexuality specifically.

[dissolved]

dissolved:

Thank you for your participation.

You said:

but it can often quickly become sexual from that.

Question:

Are become sexual and become aroused the same thing?

Not the same, no. It becoming sexual was completely unconscious, and I didn't notice until I had a mental image of something sexual and then the arousal was secondary to that (also unconscious). I don't experience random arousal as far as I'm aware; it's always triggered by either interacting with my partner in some way or thinking of them/us in a sexual scenario.

[blue1959]

Thank you for the replies.

Question:

Is thinking about sex (without arousal) a sexual experience or a non-sexual experience?

[Vixrotre]

Thank you for the replies.

Question:

Is thinking about sex (without arousal) a sexual experience or a non-sexual experience?

It varies on the context. If I read a thought provoking article that'd make me think about sex it doesn't have to be a sexual experience. It can just be something that make me go all "philosoph" and makes me question various aspects of sex. If I'm thinking about sex because I wonder how a certain sexual fantasy would play out- it is a sexual experience, even if I didn't get aroused by it.

[blue1959]

Vixrotre:

Can you wonder how a certain sexual fantasy would play out without an emotional connection?

[WhenSummersGone]

A sexual fantasy without an emotional connection would not go well for me. It's not just the sex that makes it good even though it's a sexual fantasy.

[Vixrotre]

Vixrotre:

Can you wonder how a certain sexual fantasy would play out without an emotional connection?

What do you mean? Like without having any emotions about the fantasy playing out in my head, or about the person I'm fantasizing about?

Because if it's the second- I don't fantasize about real people. I make up characters and make them do it. They don't have to be bonded, emotionally attached or anything, they don't even have to have faces.

If first- I guess it depends on what kind of emotions and scenarios we're talking about. If it's sexual arousal, love, lust etc then yes, I can fantasize some scenarios without those- like when I read an article where a woman who waited with sex till marriage got traumatized by the actual intercourse and I wonder and imagine how she felt or how I'd feel in this scenario. Then I don't feel aroused, sexy, loved etc, but I feel sadness, disappointment and I feel sorry for the woman. If it's about a sexual fantasy as in playing one of my fetishes in my head- then it's emotions all around it.

[blue1959]

Thank you for the replies. I think this topic has gotten a bit off track. Let me back up a bit and try to get it back on track.

WhenSummersGone, Vixrotre, or anybody else:

What is the benefit of experiencing sexual attraction without also experiencing sexual arousal at the same time?

[Vixrotre]

I guess it's pretty obvious- you have more control over the situation because your blood isn't flooding down from your brain to other areas and your body doesn't tell you to have a go with that person, so you're just calmer and thinking more straight about the situation and the person you're attracted to.

[binary suns]

Thank you for the replies. I think this topic has gotten a bit off track. Let me back up a bit and try to get it back on track.

WhenSummersGone, Vixrotre, or anybody else:

What is the benefit of experiencing sexual attraction without also experiencing sexual arousal at the same time?

it's an emotion, if you enjoy the emotion or find it useful to you in any way it's beneficial. if you find it unenjoyable or hindering to you in any way than it wouldn't be.

I experience non-sexual attraction and it's nice but kinda distracting so I ignore it. I experience arousal (independent of attraction) and it's nice but not meaningful in anyway so I ignore it too. if there was someone who I was attracted to the feeling would be more meaningful, and if it was a partner who wanted me to be sexually involved my arousal would be more meaningful. but since that scenario isn't true, I would rather wish I don't experience either

[blue1959]

Thank you for the replies.

Would you be content to experience sexual attraction without EVER also experiencing sexual arousal at the same time?