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And this why we need awareness


SecEagle

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Finally an active post that I made!

thx everyone for commenting.

I agree with most of what was said really, we do need awareness for people to discover if they are asexual, we do need awareness for those people who are afraid to come out, we do need awareness so people won't ask stupid question.

TBH I basically didn't "find a name" for something I felt, I thought I wanted everything evey hetero is going in a regular life, i thought I wanted a family, i thought i wanted a relationship, i thought i wanted a sexual relationship.

now i see that i didn't even search that, i searched only for really good friends.

i just thought i wanted all that but no.

luckily, I was aware of the existent of asexuals, didn't get into that really deep though.

I knew about it because I was in a facebook group that by chance had a lot of people from the LGBTQIA+ (or GSRM) community.

I really hope we can make it for people to at least KNOW this exist, and not be "Whats asexual?".

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Yep most people just assume I am a lesbian just by looking at me. Now I admire the look of a woman but I like hanging out with guys more since girls tend to be more bitchy about hard work (no offense). I would love to find a nice hard working woman to be with but that is probably not going to happen.

I had a horrible experience at my trade school a couple months back.

One of the jackasses in my class started ranting and raving that gays are confusing children and its just wrong. I told him to can it that he was being a sexist twat (more colorful language used)

He then turned on me and started calling me a gay sympathizer and that I was one of them. I just said no I am not I am asexual aka I don't have sex and I just believe in everyone getting equality.

He started ragging on me reciting some jackass preachers lines of "a man and a woman where put on this world to procreate"

I just pretended he didn't exist after that. Every time he tried to talk to me after that I told him to fuck off.

Best part is that this guy is a black dude in the carpenters union. I lodged a complaint with the instructor after class. I don't think they will put me back into that class with him again.

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www.debate.org/opinions/can-people-be-asexual

That link, the right side of the page. 100 million times why there needs to be awareness.

From this link...

Sure, re-define asexuality. But neurology states otherwise

I am a neurologist. I study chemical theory of the human mind, and have encountered studies on asexuality (by your definition, not that of cellular division and the like). I'm not here to hate, I still consider asexuals persons, and wonderful ones at that. But I would like to point out that my studies and those of my colleagues show 2 major variables which disagree with the concept of asexuality:

1. In dozens and dozens of trials, when given external sexual stimuli (images, pheromones, etc.), there was a certain chemical release (oxytocin and endorphins) released from each of the individuals tested. One thing I would like to mention is that humans were the only species who did not show any physical reaction when given stimuli. Those of you familiar with any psychology would find this amusing.

2. Over 85% of those who identify as asexual are female. The female brain oft does not send physical signals to the body but only emotional signals when exposed to external stimuli, which backs the argument against the idea that certain asexuals are capable of emotional but not sexual attraction.

Science shows that all of us are objectively attracted to other people. The rest is subjective. In personal opinion, however, call yourself what you're comfortable with. I just like giving some facts to those who only have opinion and personal experience.

Claim #1 doesn't have anything to do with asexuality.

Claim #2 - Where is your goddamn evidence that emotional signals always are linked to sexual needs?

I probably going to say this, her/his/zhis/whoever that person is, really needs to go back to the sources.

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The years of unnecessary stress caused by my confusion over 'am I gay? am I straight? I don't know!!!' I remember being stressed about that since at least the age of 13 when we had sex ed in school. If, during sex ed, they had mentioned asexuality, I doubt I would have been in such a confused muddle for so long.

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Also, awareness would stop people from insisting that you can't be asexual as that's 'to do with plants.' Gay has meant cheerful since the 14th century and has been a surname since at least the late 12th century, but everyone accepts that word meanings can change.. If asexuality had more awareness people would hopefully accept this.

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My awareness story has more to deal with the misconception of the term. Asexuality does not mean no sex ever, more like no desire to have sex, and it doesn't mean you don't have a libido or arousal. Those are physiological things that we have because, well, we're human. And there are different types such as sex positive, repulsed, or neutral. So just because sex never crosses my mind on what I would do, doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it or it's out of the question. For me that is.

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*flipping through psychology textbooks*

heterosexual...heterosexual...homosexual...heterosexual...heterosexual...heterosexual...bisexual...homosexual...heterosexual...hetero--

There's nothing about asexuality in any of these textbooks, are there? *slams book shut* Yeah that's a big fat nope. And there goes a whole generation of professional counselors and psychologists with their shiny new diplomas and no clue as to the complexities of sexuality.

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Kinsey had identified asexuality. He got that right, at least.

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Kinsey had identified asexuality. He got that right, at least.

sure, but his models were behavior based across your entire life history, his x group is a much stricter line than is held here at Aven.

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The A+ Student

If I hadn't decided I was most likely asexual, I would've continued refusing to identify as anything. I was confused for a long while about whether I was straight or gay, but figured I would find out when I would finally find somebody I wanted to date. It took a few years to come to terms with ceasing to identify as heterosexual, but I didn't feel comfortable with any other orientation until I landed with asexual. (Of course now I still have to figure out my romantic orientation, haha.)

At least now when people tell me "sex is nothing to be afraid of!" I can feel confident that it's not a problem with me.

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anodyneinsect

I think the most difficult thing for me is not being able to talk about being genderqueer and asexual since to most of my family that is just not possible or natural for a human being. The thing that really gets me is when family tells me they are open to discussion about things and say things like 'You shouldn't assume that I wouldn't be understanding of your position.' then are so shocked by the concept that I just cannot identify with a sexual designation and have no attraction that they immediately deny it exists and then say things like 'You can't just deny that you are physically your gender.' and 'You have a relationship, you can't just deny you love your partner.' It is the baiting process that goes on that annoys me most when someone tries to convince you that they are open minded about stuff and to give them a chance then to just shoot you down. Other people have tried to blame me being after children because I do not show attraction they have decided that I must want to corrupt children. What is it about 'do not want' that people do not understand?' it is so frustrating sometimes.

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I think the most difficult thing for me is not being able to talk about being genderqueer and asexual since to most of my family that is just not possible or natural for a human being. The thing that really gets me is when family tells me they are open to discussion about things and say things like 'You shouldn't assume that I wouldn't be understanding of your position.' then are so shocked by the concept that I just cannot identify with a sexual designation and have no attraction that they immediately deny it exists and then say things like 'You can't just deny that you are physically your gender.' and 'You have a relationship, you can't just deny you love your partner.' It is the baiting process that goes on that annoys me most when someone tries to convince you that they are open minded about stuff and to give them a chance then to just shoot you down. Other people have tried to blame me being after children because I do not show attraction they have decided that I must want to corrupt children. What is it about 'do not want' that people do not understand?' it is so frustrating sometimes.

I had a similar problem. I've recently come out as genderfluid, which is on the trans spectrum,but when I first noticed that me and traditional gender weren't friends I changed my nickname from a feminine to a masculine and I got a lot of crap from my family for it, even the tolerant liberal parts of it.

That being said I came out a couple of months ago and because of local awareness issues I've found support in people who before were giving me crap. So I can't promise everything will get better, but as education becomes more available, so does acceptance. Being agender is pretty tough to describe, but ometimes backing your position with all the reading materials and assigning homework when people say dumb things may make them less inclined to say dumb things, wither because they know more or they are just less willing to risk homework.

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anodyneinsect

Thank you, for your support Calamity Jim. ^_^ Congratulations on your growth and it is good to hear that you are receiving support. It is good to know that the world is changing for the better as well.

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I had the worst moment the other day.

I was explaining to my mom's partner that I didn't experience sexual attraction and he instantly says, "Oh you stayed celibate, because your a good kid."

I sincerely felt like punching him in the face.

If I felt sexual attraction I would have gone and had sex, probably at least twice by now. If you like sex, go have sex, it doesn't make you easy or bad.

He has these weird blind spots, like he is fine with gay and bisexual people, but can't separate being transgender from being gay.

And he said that being demi-sexual must be easier than being sexual, I don't have to deal with that aspect of things.

No, I just have to deal with everyone thinking I should have sex, and spending most of my teen years wondering how I was broken.

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