SecEagle Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Let me tell you a little story. Since i cant upload pics on my phone. I was surfing in omegle... When suddenly i run to this guy. I tell him im asexual, aromantic also. I tell him i have no sexual feelings... And he says that asexual means reproduce by himself end of story bye im done. I mean, as you know, cloning would be cool as hell, but we are not amoebas. He wasnt even willing to listen. He just cursed me and disconnected. Whats yours "thats why need awareness" stories? I would be interested to see what you people have. EDIT: i just noticed my "ranking title" is amoeba as of the time im writing this. so AVEN thinks differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Lies_As_Lau Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Omegle's a weird place man, I told one dude about me being ace and after trying to explain it he said he pitied me. However the best story I have is when I was thinking out loud about joining an asexual dating website to my uncle, and he goes "wanna know how I know you aren't asexual? Because you're a girl." And I'm like ???????????????????????????? That has nothing to do with being asexual and he said there was, and I decided to let him have the last word on that because how the hell can I even top that answer Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Your uncle's reply triggers my impulse to flip him the bird. On the note of trying to make sense of his reply, perhaps he meant "it's normal for women to not really desire sex." Which is again pure ignorance. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovrina Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 When I tried to tell my mother, she narrowed her eyes and said: "So you can't love other people... you're only in love with yourself?" ....I mean yes I am, but that's not what asexuality means, mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 XD Mistaking Asexuality for Narcissism, I haven't heard that one yet. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Meudwen Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 We need awareness because I could've found out almost a year sooner than I did, that I was asexual. I could've finally fit in somewhere a whole year sooner. But I was told by my ex (and self-identified asexual) that I "didn't count" because I enjoyed smut. I even tried telling him, 'but that's fictional' and he wouldn't even discuss it further with me. He was kind of an a-hole anyway but I digress. Even after I had an amazing revelation and realized that I still counted as ace, I had a lot of people give me shit because I write/read smut. It messed me up for a while. I've seen a lot of other aces end up so confused and feeling they don't fit in anywhere because they like fictional sex, porn, masturbate, or otherwise have some form of libido, because people are so misinformed about what asexuality really is. On the bright side, it's really amusing when I correct people about what aces can and can't do, they get so confused. "Aces can have sex and still be ace? They can masturbate? They can find people aesthetically appealing? They can enjoy porn? Then what IS ace?!" 8) Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Or, the way I've phrased it for a few years now, we need our Stonewall moment. Link to post Share on other sites
proud_of_me Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 my "need awareness" comes in the form of a "LGBTQ+" needs awareness, but mostly aces. a few months ago i made a new guy friend and when i came out to him, he asked me if i was a lesbian. when i explained further that no, i didn't feel attraction towards anyone, he said he wished he was like me. i had to explain asexuality about 5 times through messages and in person - he still doesn't understand it. like, at all. this has literally happened with about 10 people. Link to post Share on other sites
Meudwen Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 when i explained further that no, i didn't feel attraction towards anyone, he said he wished he was like me. I don't understand this "I wish I was like you" sentiment that some people get, like they think aces have less problems or less cares? I wish I felt sexual attraction so I wouldn't have to spend nights worrying that one day my girlfriend will think I don't love her because I'm not sexually attracted to her? So I could finally feel what everyone told me I'd feel one day? So I could stop wondering if I'm "really ace" or "just broken" like everyone told me? It's like when people say 'asexuals don't face discrimination!' and yet I've seen my friends threatened with corrective r*pe by complete strangers just for mentioning that they are asexual. So it's kind of insensitive when people wish they could be ace. i had to explain asexuality about 5 times through messages and in person - he still doesn't understand it. like, at all. I think asexuality must be as hard for non-aces to understand, as sexual attraction is for us to understand. It's like trying to explain colors to someone who's colorblind. You can learn all about it and try to understand, but you either get it or you don't. I find it kind of amusing, talking to one of my allo friends and trying to get her to explain what sexual attraction feels like. Neither of us can really understand each other's point of view, but we sure have fun trying. Link to post Share on other sites
proud_of_me Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I don't understand this "I wish I was like you" sentiment that some people get, like they think aces have less problems or less cares? maybe they think we have more mind space without sexual thoughts?? we just fill it up with other things xP i don't understand that either Link to post Share on other sites
Atmetller Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I remember explaining I wasn't attracted to female or male to one friend when I was studying at another university (I didn't know about asexuality at that moment). He told me it wasn't possible, and that I had to be attracted to either one or the other. After that day the conversations always were about if I had a girlfriend or not, and he spent all the time talking about her girlfriend and details about having sex with her, how her genitalia was and things like that. In the end I invented I liked a random girl (that wasn't from the university) just to stop the questions, but it was worst... Luckily at the university were I am now nobody asks me this info. People see me like a "different than normal" person, but that has nothing to do with my asexuality (it's just about my personality traits haha). Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Yah, some sexuals can't comprehend it despite explanations. Since they start to desire sex with others between the ages of 8-12 (but fully recognize what it is between jr high to early high school), a lot can't imagine not having it toward anyone at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Vega91 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 "I'm asexual, so I'm not interested in anyone." "Soooo.... you're bisexual? Hot" Also the common question: "are you interested in boys or girls?" Link to post Share on other sites
UncommonNonsense Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 The feeling that you have to keep quiet about the fact that you're ace simply because others won't understand and don't want to hear about it. My own mother thinking our neighbours would ostracise us and force us to move away just because I have a few ace awareness stickers on my car, despite us living in one of the most LGBT+ friendly cities in Canada. Even though you know better, and even though you realize how stupid it is, there is still that tiny little voice in the back of your head, the one that speaks in the voice of the meanest girl you went to school with... and it always says 'You're only ace because you can't get laid' or 'you're still single at (insert age here)? Wow, you really ARE a loser!'. It doesn't matter that all that shit is wrong, and it goes against everything you know to be true, but it is still there. And every time some movie/story/TV show ends with the 'happy' ending of the girl getting a boyfriend/sex partner, it gets reinforced... and every time someone you grew up with partners up, gets hitched, you feel just a bit less confident. Because there is just so much of this 'having sex=winner, not having sex=loser' bullshit in our society. Link to post Share on other sites
Vega91 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 The feeling that you have to keep quiet about the fact that you're ace simply because others won't understand and don't want to hear about it. This, so much. At a family party last night the conversation turned to relationships, and I had to pretend I'm just "not looking to date right now" because I just know the concept of being ace would cause a massive shitstorm. Link to post Share on other sites
Kalyke Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 asexual has been a word for many hundreds of years, and it refers to things like amoeba sex (asexual reproduction). Recently, someone gave the word a new meaning. I can totally understand people sticking up for the "dictionary" meaning they learned while in school. When I think of asexual, I think of asexual propogation used in Grass growing and other plant reproduction. It is in the dictionary referring to people who have no feelings of sexuality. I suppose you can tell them that it is definition #2. Link to post Share on other sites
Elisewin Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 We need awareness because I could've found out almost a year sooner than I did, that I was asexual. I could've finally fit in somewhere a whole year sooner. I could've found out 15 years sooner... :( Also, I agree with the last comments. When I found about asexuality I thought 'there's no way I'm telling my family about this' because I tend to be very private with them. But today I was thinking I wouldn't have any problems in telling them if they actually knew what I was talking about. If I told them I was a lesbian, they would be happy about it or not, but at least they would understand what it means. I hate the thought of having to explain everything many times and dealing with all the questions and misjudgements. Link to post Share on other sites
Diamond Dust Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Sometimes my best friend talks about me with her mom. Her mom however, is the type of irrational Christian mother who can not move on from traditional beliefs ._. (My best friend told me she asked her mom for her sexual orientation during an interview and her mom replied "I'm a woman." O.O) My best friend's mom believes I am gay because of what my best friend told her about me. Ever since I figured out my asexuality I told my best friend about it immediately and then she told her mom about it. She told me this was the conversation between her and her mom. Best friend:Mom, my friend is asexual. They don't like boys or girls!BF's Mom:....That sounds gay!Best Friend:Okay fine, they are non sexual.BF's Mom:Oh honey, that doesn't exist. And this is why I avoid going to the library with my best friend, because her mom picks her up! D: I don't wanna meet this scary lady who believes I don't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 We need awareness because I could've found out almost a year sooner than I did, that I was asexual. I could've finally fit in somewhere a whole year sooner. I could've found out 15 years sooner... :( Also, I agree with the last comments. When I found about asexuality I thought 'there's no way I'm telling my family about this' because I tend to be very private with them. But today I was thinking I wouldn't have any problems in telling them if they actually knew what I was talking about. If I told them I was a lesbian, they would be happy about it or not, but at least they would understand what it means. I hate the thought of having to explain everything many times and dealing with all the questions and misjudgements. Yes! It's so much work explaining, mixed with embarrassing private info and in the end, the chances that the other believes us are still low. That sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
ElleW Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 If I had learned about asexuality a few years earlier, I wouldn't be married to an allosexual. We're muddling along in our relationship, but there are definitely times that we're not as happy as we could be with someone of the same sexual orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovrina Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 On the bright side, it's really amusing when I correct people about what aces can and can't do, they get so confused. Oh, it's so funny you say this because it totally reminded me of something else that happened. I was telling my (very confused) friend the concept of asexuality, and she went silent for a while as she digested this new information. Then she turned to me with a very solemn, concerned look and asked: "But asexuals are still allowed to do normal things, like hang out with their friends, right...?" ...and I think time actually stopped for a second. I couldn't stop laughing afterwards. Really sorry to tell you guys, but none of you are allowed to hang out with your friends. If any of you sick perverts are caught with a friend in public, you should be jailed, no exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
012 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 If I had learned about asexuality a few years earlier, I wouldn't be married to an allosexual. We're muddling along in our relationship, but there are definitely times that we're not as happy as we could be with someone of the same sexual orientation. Yeah if I had known in the past what I understand now... my gosh... Link to post Share on other sites
SpiffyParadox Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 The feeling that you have to keep quiet about the fact that you're ace simply because others won't understand and don't want to hear about it. Thank you so much for writing that because I feel like that constantly. I always worry about if I annoy my friend with my 'ace-ness' so to speak. Although he's always been very supportive I feel he may still have some skepticism towards asexuality. And every time I mention something ace related (which I did a bit during AAW) I couldn't help but feel I was annoying him, even though he showed no signs of annoyance. Perhaps i'm worrying about nothing. Also, i'm way too scared to post anything remotely related to asexuality on my Facebook or anywhere else (except AVEN of course) for the same reasons you mentioned. Hell, i'm certain a good friend of mine will stop being friends with me if she found out that i'm asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
ElleW Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Here's another one: We're studying the Renaissance with our students at an after-school program I work at. One of the girls came across an image of the David statue. She saw its private area and exclaimed "EWWWW!" One of my staff members were relaying the situation to me yesterday, and another staff member laughed saying, "Oh she'll love [male genitalia] when she's older!" The first staff member said, "Well not everyone likes them." The second said, "Well everyone but lesbians does!" I'm not out as asexual at work, and it's not my place to discuss sexuality at work anyways, so I just kept quiet. Link to post Share on other sites
Hizu Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I thought there was something very wrong with me and I forced myself into having sex hoping to like it one day. If I knew about asexuality I would have felt better, knowing that I'm not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
012 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I thought there was something very wrong with me and I forced myself into having sex hoping to like it one day. Looking back on it... I remember thinking to myself afterwards "I'm sure I'll like it better next time..." of course I was just always lying to myself but I didn't really understand myself. Link to post Share on other sites
mspiral Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Because on of my friends essentially told me that a majority of aces on tumblr only identify that way because they can't get any. Link to post Share on other sites
SecEagle Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 Because on of my friends essentially told me that a majority of aces on tumblr only identify that way because they can't get any.wow, hurtful, they think we cant get any? we are the best talkers ;)Jk haha. Link to post Share on other sites
tuvok Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 Because on of my friends essentially told me that a majority of aces on tumblr only identify that way because they can't get any. This ones pops up from time to time but it is an odd assumption. Well the two are definitely correlated, but I think it is the other way around. It would make sense that in an age where living alone is cheap, safe and not stigmatized, people would want to. And since living alone is an option, people do not need to buy a relationship with sex. And if sex is only happening between two consenting adults, why would people who do not whish to, seek that? "Not getting any" is just a weird way to create a pressure that wouldn't exist otherwise. It has never been a problem for me. The only time it has been brought up in conversation has been during a drinking game where the one with the longest "dry spell" had to drink. I just went for it and nobody wanted an explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 The average person knows who he/she is in early to mid teens. I finally figured it out at age 20 or 21 Link to post Share on other sites
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