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Helping others understand asexuality


ralph_whitehead

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ralph_whitehead

Some of my friends understand my asexuality, whilst others are simply puzzled by it, suggesting that "I haven't found the right person yet' or 'that you're just a late bloomer'.

I was wondering what would be the best example or way to help someone who is not asexual understand what asexuality is like?

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If they're "heterosexual," then I'd point out that them saying that to me is like me saying that to them about the possibility that they're "homosexual" or some other sexual orientation. I'd also point out that the "right" person for me is someone who is compatible with me (sexually and otherwise).

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What I find the most helpful for others is to compare it with others. We feel towards every gender the same way heteros feel towards their own gender, or homos towards the opposite gender.

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Asexuals can be sure of their orientation at an early age like any other orientation. For comparison, how do your friends know for certain what their orientations are? It isn't a choice; neither finding the "right person" to have a relationship with, or having sex will change that.

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But sometimes sexual people can't comprehend it despite explainations. They've had the desire from a young age that they probably can't imagine not having it.

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verily-forsooth-egads

"I am as sexually attracted to Hotty McHotface as I am to my grandmother."

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"I am as sexually attracted to Hotty McHotface as I am to my grandmother."

That sounds wrong if you are not ace.

But to the topic,

I suggest giving them the chocolate cake example, compare wanting cake to sexual desire.

For example: some people like cakes, some like pie, some like both, some like cupcakes, some like all, some like some.

We like none.

Its ironic since our saying is that cake is better than sex but whatever.

Maybe ask if they will like to put 20 used socks in their mouth, if they say they dont, tell them its just a phase, they will find the right socks to stuff in their mouth. If they say they would like it.... well thats a different story but i wont judge, they shall do what makes them happy.

As people said above me, tell them:

- hetero/homo: how do they know they are not bi or pan? They havent met the right person yet.

- bi: might be pan? They havent met the right non binary yet.

- pan: *use another explanation here*.

The best/worst explanation (it depends on a lot of aspects) is to tell them that what they feel for people that doesnt arouse them sexually is what we feel for everyone (sexually).

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"But sometimes sexual people can't comprehend it despite explainations. They've had the desire from a young age that they probably can't imagine not having it."

I dunno. I doubt any sexual person desires every demographic in the planet. Just ask them to imagine everyone else on the planet is from a demographic they don't find attractive. That's what it's like (I imagine. I'm straight).

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Just ask them to imagine everyone else on the planet is from a demographic they don't find attractive. That's what it's like (I imagine. I'm straight).

And people have done that; as i said even with explanation, and they still don't get it. They can understand not being attracted to some people, but not all; they just can't wrap their head around it.

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"It is a fact that some sexual people still can't wrap their head around it. They can understand not being attracted to some people, but not all."

I guess. And some vote Republican...

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I don't think it really matters if sexual people don't understand asexuals, or that asexuals don't understand sexuals.

What matters is that people in both orientations believe what the other says about themselves, and respect them as human beings.

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