Am I an Asexual?

[RandomFurlong]

I've looked at lists of terms regarding sexuality and asexuality and the many gray areas in between, but I can't figure out where I fit in.

I'm male and attracted to females, and only females.

I'm sexually attracted to strangers, typically those who most would agree with, but I'm not attracted to a lot that others would be.

I'm sexually attracted to those who I get to know more, whom I wasn't originally attracted to.

I have a very high sexual drive, usually masturbating 5-9, or more, times a week.

Except, when I'm kissing someone, or engaging in any form of sexual activity, I feel absolutely nothing. I'll still have an erection, and that feels good, but when a girl is touching me, there are no sensations, even after I teach her what I like, which has been discovered via masturbation.

There's no enjoyment. I've never had sex, but I've fooled around with a few girls. The most recent is extremely attractive to me. I've decided to wait for marriage when it comes to sex itself, but foreplay-esque activities aren't doing anything for me. I have an enormous desire to partake in such activities. When I'm with a girl, I typically have urges to kiss her. But, when I do, I don't feel or enjoy any of it.

Am I asexual? I've read about gray-asexuals, but usually those don't have much of a desire, while mine is huge. I'm just, really confused.

I'm also worried maybe it's because I've fallen in love with a girl in the past. I'm sexually attracted to others, and have formed emotional connections with others as well, although not nearly as strong. But, is it possible that there's some form of sexuality that doesn't allow me to enjoy it with anyone but her? That'd be scary, so, I hope it isn't possible that the two things are related.

[Lost247365]

So, let me see if I am understanding your situation.

You do feel sexual attractions, and it is more than significant, but not to as many people as you percieve others. Further, the moment that you start getting involved with them, the feeling vanishes?

I can't tell you what you are, but It sounds to me like you are an aposexual (formally called lithsexuality). This is a form of gray-sexuality where one experiences sexual attraction but one does not care or does not want it reciprocated. For some the feeling vanishes when others reciprocate.

Does this sound like it fits you?

And welcome to aven! Here is some welcoming cake for ya!



PS: This is for romantic orientations but you can just substitute sexual in their place. If Aprosexual doesn't fit one of these others might sound more like you:
http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/

Edit: thanks for the spelling correction star.

Edited November 3, 2015 by Lost247365

[Star Bit]

It's spelled Aposexual; no R.

Also, you said it replaced Lith; i haven't heard this from anyone else, plus google still has no proper search results for it.

[RandomFurlong]

Consciously I do want reciprocation. But, I don't feel any pleasure from receiving or giving in those situations. I've never been physically involved with anyone I have feelings for, so, I'm not sure if that matters or not.

Kisses are completely empty, and everything else is no different from: Just taking my own hand and touching my arm. If a girl tries giving me oral, it usually hurts and there's no pleasure.

It's all really confusing, because I want to do those things a lot...

[Star Bit]

Sounds Lith aka Aposexual then; it's more properly defined as "sexual reciprocation causing an unpositive reaction (immediately or over time)". More specifically it causing either indifference, loss of interest, or repulsion. And as said, you can simplify it to Gray-A if you like. But Gray-A mostly consists of sex-maybes; as it's an umbrella term, so if you never want to have sex you can go by asexual. But some Aposexuals can actually keep their sexual attraction if the partner is indifferently unreciprocative durring sex. Kissing isn't for everyone either, but if you desire sensual contact and don't react well to it actually being done then there's Lith/Aposensual too. But if you're just that way with kissing then there's no need for the title. As for your romantic feelings, there is heteroromantic. (Lith is more commonly used but its new term Apo is more accurate because its prefix isn't a metaphor.)