Anyone else hates their sexuality/genitalia? Is it dangerous?

[looser]

[TMI and Trigger Warning]

I don't really get aroused from humans anymore, but occasionally do get morning erections etc. I hate that.

I sometimes feel that I've missed opportunities of relationship in my youth, I'm a 25 year old kissless virgin. But the truth is I didn't have any opportunities, no one liked me, so I wanted to become asexual and started torturing my genitalia at 12 or 13.

I still continue it to this day, I did stop for extended periods of time in the past though. In the morning I take my penis with both hands and twist in opposite directions so that erection goes away. Sometimes I just punch it as hard as I can with my fists. Other methods are - nailing foreskin to the table, stretching out the penis and beating it with a cable, putting salt or chili powder under the foreskin and rubbing it in.

Anyone else has done something like this? Is potentially dangerous? Sometimes the penis does get quite bruised.

Edited November 1, 2015 by SkyWorld
added TMI and TW

[looser]

I can take photos of my penis (it's all bruised), but I don't think it's allowed to post stuff like that here.

Edited November 1, 2015 by SkyWorld

[Star Bit]

(correct, such photos aren't allowed here)

You can just get rid of morning wood, or any arousal, by holding your breath.

But you're not the only one. Within the over a years time I've spent on AVEN, I've seen one other person post a similar story. But at least from what was explained, yours is a stronger example of it. It's seriously not healthy for your parts and there are other ways to deal with unwanted arousal (which is actually completely normal for males. link).

I don't recall the ways to lower your libido, but I'll look into it. There is the option of getting it reassigned as a vagina. Would that solve it for you or would the arousal still be a problem?

[Lost247365]

I don't really get aroused from humans anymore, but occasionally do get morning erections etc. I hate that.

I sometimes feel that I've missed opportunities of relationship in my youth, I'm a 25 year old kissless virgin. But the truth is I didn't have any opportunities, no one liked me, so I wanted to become asexual and started torturing my genitalia at 12 or 13.

I still continue it to this day, I did stop for extended periods of time in the past though. In the morning I take my penis with both hands and twist in opposite directions so that erection goes away. Sometimes I just punch it as hard as I can with my fists. Other methods are - nailing foreskin to the table, stretching out the penis and beating it with a cable, putting salt or chili powder under the foreskin and rubbing it in.

Anyone else has done something like this? Is potentially dangerous? Sometimes the penis does get quite bruised.

You know your orientation and I am not going to deny your identity, but I think there are some things that need to be said about your post for anyone browsing this forum at home who might get the wrong idea about things.

First and foremost, you can't consciously choose to be asexual. You can only choose to become celibate. Further, lack of arousal isn't asexuality either. Asexaulity is simply the lack of sexual desire or attraction.

Anyways, back to your post. Morning wood (eww yuck) goes away almost instantly just by flexing your thighs or doing as as Star suggests and holding your breath. I hate that part of my anatomy too but harming yourself like that is unnecessary and if you get an infection it could turn serious. Just ignoring it and getting up and doing "anything" usually does the trick for me.

[borealmist]

Yes, it's potentially dangerous due to infection risk and other things. If you're just doing it out of dislike for the morning erections there are safer ways to deal with that, there are many medications that significantly reduce the ability to get an erection (many SSRI antidepressants for example).

[Keumi]

Yes, that can be quite dangerous. It sounds like the methods you use could lead to a high chance of infection, and infection can be very dangerous. There are much healthier and safer ways to deal with your arousal, such as either taking some long, deep breaths or completely holding your breath for a few seconds. My boyfriend has mentioned that simply going for a walk or doing a bit of exercise has taken care of his, or also flexing your thighs for about 30 seconds. I've also heard of splashing cold water on it.

Also, I feel the need to mention that asexuality isn't something you choose. It is the lack of sexual attraction, not the choice to become celibate which is completely different. Of course you know yourself, but just trying to clear up some possible confusion over the terms.

[looser]

No I dislike sexuality in general not just morning erections. I hate that I am sexual, I would like to be sexless, genderless asexual. I torment my penis whenever I get sexual thoughts not just erection. Most of the time I torture while it's not even erect.

[Member54880]

I've met some others in your situation, who also aren't asexual and dislike sex and disliking experiencing sexual attraction, and that it feels like a burden to them. That itself isn't a problem at all.

However, I'm concerned about the harm you may be doing to yourself in the way that you're trying to cope, and should try to find coping methods that won't harm you, and you could start with the tips others have suggested. I understand that this is a very difficult situation with little information available to help you. I really wish there were more information available to find effective ways to cope that won't harm you.

You mention the urge to harm when sexual thoughts happen. Is there anything in particular that triggers the sexual thoughts? If it is something in your environment (i.e: any sexual cues), are you able to distance yourself from it so you don't have those thoughts?

[Lightning Blue Ray]

Look up this thread if you're interested about wanting to be sexless. http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/128647-angenital-agender/

I'm angenital myself, and I reeeally wish that I didn't have sex characteristics/sex organs. Being angenital is separate from being agender, but it can co-exist together with being agender. It's explained in the thread. :)

[looser]

"Is there anything in particular that triggers the sexual thoughts? If it is something in your environment (i.e: any sexual cues), are you able to distance yourself from it so you don't have those thoughts?"

Sort of, sometimes. Couples, especially young. Although they trigger more relationship-romance thoughts. It makes me understand that I will never experience that.

This can be in real life and movies, stories etc. Also mentions of parties etc. trigger me, I have missed all that good stuff. Even if I tried something now I can only get the worst crap.