skylarsparrow Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Okay so, I've never been sexually attracted to anyone, but like the idea of having sex, except it doesn't feel like anything and I have no sex drive.I'm in a relationship, I love the person and am attracted to them, we have sex but the thing is, I'm not into it, I could go fine never doing it. It doesn't feel like anything, I don't have a sex drive. Masturbating feels like nothing to me, and I've tried countless times and it's like my vaginas broken or something, same with sex, been doing it for over a year (for my partner, he doesn't know any of this), but I want to be able to have sex, it's something I wish I could do ad actually enjoy like you're supposed to. I've gotten kind of horny but it's so subtle. I want to be able to have sex and masturbate this is so frustratingp.s. I'm not on antidepressants, I am on the pill but we started having sex before I went on it and it's the same Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hardly any Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Sounds pretty asexual to me. If you are worried about being physically unable to feel pleasure, check with a doctor, but the whole not-being-attracted no-sex-drive not-into-sex thing says asexual or ace spectrum. You can in fact still be asexual and wish you weren't. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 First things first, no matter what sexuality you decide to identify with, I don't think that you are broken. Many people on this site have been in the same situation you are in now, so although this might all be new to you, you certainly aren't alone. If you're really concerned you can check with a doctor, but nothing you've described in your post implies there's automatically something wrong with you. As for whether or not you are asexual, that's something you will have to decide on for yourself. People here will be able to give you advice or point you to resources that we think might help, but in the end it is up to you how you want to identify. That being said though, from what you've written it sound like you could fit the definition of asexuality. I would highly recommend exploring this site and continuing to research asexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meudwen Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 (TMI ahead probably) Based on how you phrased things, I want to make sure it's clear that vaginal stimulation is rarely satisfactory by itself. Clitoral stimulation is where it's at. Most people masturbate either with purely clitoral stimulation, or combined vaginal/clitoral stimulation. Don't listen to anyone who insists that vaginal stimulation should be enough on its own because that's outdated garbage. So make sure your partner is doing the do correctly for you, otherwise it's really not that uncommon to experience no real pleasure out of it. Countless women literally spent their entire lives not even realizing they could have orgasms simply because their partners never knew how to give them one or never bothered. My mother was one of them. One of my friends who is only in her 30s told me "My girlfriend never had an orgasm until she was with me." So it's really not that uncommon. That said, if the technique is right, you can talk to a doctor about your concerns and see if something else is causing a problem, if lack of sex drive is something that is bothering you. Otherwise, you say you're not attracted to anyone, it could simply be that you are asexual, but that is for you to decide. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lost247365 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 If you are asexual, and I think you are, then there is really nothing you can do about it. It is fine to feel frustrated at the situation, but don't let that lead you to thinking that there is something wrong with you. It is a part of you that makes you who you are. Don't ever feel broken for being who you are. Remember, we are all a little cracked (some of us more so than others), but so long as you can move forward you are never broken. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
booksaremysexlife Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I think everyone else already told you what you wanted to know, but Never ever think you are broken. Because you are not. You must understand that. People here are really nice, you can talk to them whenever you want. Sometimes we hate what we are, but we must learn to look past that. Those... those expectations are something that you sometimes have to let go. You will find something even better in the end- who you really are. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 A third of women who take birth control have a lowered libido, but if you never desire to masturbate then that's a real thing; it's called a non-libidoist. Yes, you're different, but that's not bad. You're comparing yourself to others too much. But if you want to try masturbating, try looking up where the G-spots are, and most of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so you don't even have to go internally. You don't even have to use your hands either; an object applying pressure can be enough. Yes, life would be easier for everyone who was different if they were born as the majority, but they aren't, they aren't the only ones, and they either come to accept that or just end up pointlessly hating themselves over something no one can change. Asexuals aren't the only ones with these problems; gay, bi, trans, and intersex people have them too. I highly suggest this brief video. Link Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skylarsparrow Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 (TMI ahead probably) Based on how you phrased things, I want to make sure it's clear that vaginal stimulation is rarely satisfactory by itself. Clitoral stimulation is where it's at. Most people masturbate either with purely clitoral stimulation, or combined vaginal/clitoral stimulation. Don't listen to anyone who insists that vaginal stimulation should be enough on its own because that's outdated garbage. So make sure your partner is doing the do correctly for you, otherwise it's really not that uncommon to experience no real pleasure out of it. Countless women literally spent their entire lives not even realizing they could have orgasms simply because their partners never knew how to give them one or never bothered. My mother was one of them. One of my friends who is only in her 30s told me "My girlfriend never had an orgasm until she was with me." So it's really not that uncommon. That said, if the technique is right, you can talk to a doctor about your concerns and see if something else is causing a problem, if lack of sex drive is something that is bothering you. Otherwise, you say you're not attracted to anyone, it could simply be that you are asexual, but that is for you to decide. I've tried everything when it comes to masturbating and nothings working but I still have hope, thanks so much for your answer along with everyone else's. If I am indeed asexual than that's just who I am Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I define "asexuality" as "no inherent desire for partnered sex." Basically, an "asexual" person isn't drawn towards sexual interaction with others. Beyond that, it varies from person to person, regardless of sexual orientation. If you want to learn more about asexuality, then I highly recommend this (scholarly) article. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
justme89 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 just joined this site and really glad to hear some of your views, society has a big thing of putting it into our heads we have to be with people intimately and makes people who don't feel the need to really down, I know I speak that for my self anyway xxx Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.