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to tell or not to tell


ericajunesp

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On the one hand I'm super excited and want to shout it to the world...on the other hand...who just goes around announcing their sexuality???? Did you all make a big tadoo when you told people...did you just let it come up in normal conversation, or did you just keep it to yourself, your own sweet secret??

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asexual-armadillo

When I first said it to my friends it was in normal conversation. I can't quite remember what we were talking about, but it all worked out. Granted, one of my friends freaked out (not negatively, just shocked) about it. It was not a bit tadoo though. It depends on how you feel though. Everyone says it differently. Some people do really just keep it to themselves. Whatever you choose I wish you luck. ^_^

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Well I myself haven't told many people. I told my boyfriend first because he's the only one who really needs to know. I also brought it up with my best friend, but that's about it so far. Part of me thinks that it's no ones business anyways, yet at the same time I don't really like that most people probably just assume I'm heterosexual or something.

I suppose if it came up in conversation I would reveal it. Otherwise, I plan to only tell those who need to know or perhaps my really close friends.

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I told people I thought would want to know and didn't tell people I thought would be fussy about it. It depends on the person. The same way gay people may feel awkward or pressured when people suggest hetero-type relationships to them, I feel awkward when people suggest me getting a significant other.

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I pretty much keep it on a need to know basis. Close friends know. The family is pretty much unaware, but I'm not worried.

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I can't remember the exact situation but there was a perfect lead-in conversation involved followed by " that's my way of telling you I'm asexual ". I'm only out to two people and like others said its kind of a need to know basis. Good luck.

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Well I just told my oldest daughter and I can barely breathe I'm so nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. She had some questions but overall took it very well. Oh my gosh I can barely sit at my desk right now I feel like I'm about to climb out of my skin!!!

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Blue Phoenix Ace

I know a lot of divorced aces tell their exes and it helps them understand their relationship better. Though if you are jumping out of your skin from telling your daughter, that would probably be a big step to take.

I've only told one close friend, because I trust him very much and he is open-minded. I haven't got the guts to do much else. I really feel like being very open about it, because it might attract other aces to me that either don't understand themselves yet, or didn't know I was also ace.

Anyways, it's totally up to you who you tell. There's no obligation, but it might work out for the best!

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Each person should be free to make their own decisions. To me the two things which should not happen are being unintentionally outed by someone snooping at a private computer for example, and having to come out to dispel inaccurate and often overt speculation about orientation.

I'm completely open about asexuality, but in part because I had people frequently discussing my orientation behind my back and never coming up with either the truth or where I thought I was before discovering asexuality

If you plan on doing things like marching in pride events it may be as well to be open, a friend or family member seeing you pictured on social media could be awkward, otherwise there's nothing wrong with saying your orientation is your own private matter and not a topic for debate

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I've not told a soul other than a lady I was pursuing. I honestly don't see a need to discuss it with my parents, family, my children, my friends or work colleagues as it doesn't affect the way I interact with them. I'm not ashamed of being asexual but I don't feel a need to publicise it. I am not going to be defined by my orientation.

That's me, but hey, we're all different.

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  • 9 months later...
cavalier080854

I deliberately took the decision to not tell my family early on after being told I was asexual (aged 16).I didn't want to alienate any of my family, if it occurred, a difficult thing to correct. No, I took the "cowards" way out, which I believe was for the best.

My friends were a different matter, especially the women. I always took a personal decision when to "reveal" myself as asexual. Always in a one to one discussion. with the understanding, No Outing to other people, except fort the other friends who are in my inner circle of friends. These number 25 to date. A fairly large number so I'm lead to believe for my age of 62.

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