Snowshoes Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hello all, I discovered this place when I saw a great blog entry about being aromantic. I am "later in life" and I don't have a consistent history of not liking sex. I have liked some sex. Why I am here is because I feel like I don't want sex anymore, I do not feel comfortable with the tangle of emotions, feelings of obligation, and never being sure if I just "tuned out" in order to try to keep someone else happy. I am more questions than answers right now. I feel very confused about whether I have ever really wanted sex in my life, or whether I wanted to be liked or feel "grown up." Now, I am post-menopausal and also on some anti-anxiety medication (it's hard to say that part) and my sex drive is virtually nil. And it feels great! I feel free for the first time ever, free to be alone and have nothing more to do with sex. I don't know what that means for relationships as men usually want sex. I am historically bisexual but I have (gleefully) learned to focus on platonic friendships with women (mostly unattached women who themselves don't really care for sex or relationships) and I find those friendships so fulfilling. So I'm not even sure I would want to identify myself as "lesbian" since I am not sure I want to have sex with anyone! I hope this doesn't sound a confused mess but I wanted to spit it all out and see what I heard... Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
lina-gray Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 welcome to AVEN! you are at the right place it is very sweet that you find friendships fulfilling! i wish i have met a person like you in my life! i wish you enjoy your stay to this awesome and friendly community!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Welcome Snowshoes!!! The way I see it there are two criteria for belonging here1. Be here. 2. Respect others and the rules You belong here :) I also want you to know that you are not alone on the anxiety front, you will find alot of us here. I myself am on anti-depressant anti-anxiety meds. The stigma can be hard to deal with sometimes I know, but it is like any other medicine for any other illness. Hugs if you want them.You have started figuring yourself out, that is great. It is a journey and you can find labels, play with them, see if they are right and keep them or throw them away, it is all good. This is another thing that happens here alot. Most of us don't get this blinding ray of knowledge and suddenly, three seconds later, we know all about our sexuality. Take as long as you want. I am mildly jelous of your low libido, that sounds like a dream come true. And I am glad you have fulfilling friendships! Hugs of welcome if you want them Link to post Share on other sites
Jea Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Welcome to AVEN! Everyone is welcome here I find friendships (and books) to be the most fullfilling thing ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowshoes Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Golly you all are sweet and wonderful! I am going to have to investigate the Cake explanation now! Link to post Share on other sites
Gutter Goose Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hello and welcome, I am recently joined too. :) I for one really appreciate your frankness, and every variation on the (a)sexuality spectrum that I hear about reassures me, so thank you for that. I too hope I will be privileged enough to meet some people like you in my offline life. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for your intro, and I'm glad that you joined! : ) There are a lot of people that can relate to you here. Keep exploring the forum, and ask questions when you have any! We're all happy to help. You're not alone in age, either! There is the Older Asexuals section of the forum, which maybe you'd like to check out since you are "later in life," as you put it. ;) Thank you again for telling us a bit about your story. I hope you enjoy being a member! P.S. Here is the legend of the cake! http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Cake Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Hullo, nice to meet you and welcome to AVEN! :cake: I'm glad that you have decided to join and thank you for introducing yourself. AVEN is for everyone, so of course you welcome here! We're a very friendly and supporting community. If you have questions, please feel free to ask. :) I hope you enjoy it here and... more cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Hi and welcome to AVEN! Glad you found your way here and I hope you love being a member. The people are awesome, so have fun making some new friends!!! :) I think you'll find that there are others here who have similar feelings as you too! Link to post Share on other sites
Snowshoes Posted October 15, 2015 Author Share Posted October 15, 2015 What a lovely bunch of people (and cakes too!) I very much appreciate the warm welcome and encouraging words. Sorting through my life experiences to locate the thread of my own desires and wishes is definitely going to take some time. But I am committed to doing that and I look forward to getting to know you all as I do some of that here. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Hello, you are most welcomed here :) Link to post Share on other sites
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