Ix Phoen Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I recently found Workaway (a site that connects hosts who are willing to exchange a local place to stay with travellers who have time and skills to share).I am hoping to gradually take advantage of this sort of opportunity to visit many different communities, cultures, and lifestyles. I thought that some of you might enjoy the opportunity to test out various ideas as well, and maybe participate as hosts in your own endeavors. Even reading through the various hosts and the experiences of all those who have participated in their projects has been fascinating and enlightening.I'd love it if you all shared similar experiences of temporarily sharing in community (home life) with strangers. Also, various retreats and other temporary living spaces for a specific group identity or sharing ideas might have interesting points to offer for those who wish to build a more enduring form of community based on those ideals. Link to post Share on other sites
Ix Phoen Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 My experience with the "forming your own community" phenomenon has been very positive, but such communities are by their nature, ephemeral. In my old neighborhood, there was a group of "dog moms" that formed at a local park in the early evening. We supported one member through a divorce, one through a very turbulent emotional time, one through an international adoption. And of course, as our dogs aged and passed, we all grieved together. We were all very different personalities and could never have lived communally, but our dogs provided the common focus that allowed us to take care of each other when it was necessary. Here on my rural, remote Pacific island, such relationships are essential and, indeed, part of the island culture. We have our hula sisters, our paddling sisters, our extended church ohana. Some of those relationships are organic, some are intentional. On those occasions when the coconut wireless reports that Something Terrible Has Happened, sisters start showing up with a loaf of banana bread and put the kettle on. You will not be left alone. ETA: I should also say that I have recently joined another community--of a different sort, really-but positive nonetheless. A local elementary school teacher runs a strings class for kids, and through grants and hustling, provides instruments on loan to anyone who can't afford to own one. The class is also open to the community, so in amongst the rows of first graders are aunties and uncles who are also learning to play "Twinkle" and getting to know their young classmates. It is a wonderful thing to behold. I really love the variety of interconnected communities and how you express the reasons and ways of connection. It's a relief to see local community functioning as it should. I haven't experienced that locally (in southern WI) ... maybe I haven't found the right groups yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I want this so much, but I'm almost certain it'll never happen. I don't think I'll ever even be able to afford to rent one of the crappy council houses round here. Don't give up hope, Anthracite - there may be options you haven't even come across yet, and you never know when that could happen, if you keep your mind open :) Link to post Share on other sites
chro Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I recently found Workaway (a site that connects hosts who are willing to exchange a local place to stay with travellers who have time and skills to share). I am hoping to gradually take advantage of this sort of opportunity to visit many different communities, cultures, and lifestyles. I thought that some of you might enjoy the opportunity to test out various ideas as well, and maybe participate as hosts in your own endeavors. Even reading through the various hosts and the experiences of all those who have participated in their projects has been fascinating and enlightening. I'd love it if you all shared similar experiences of temporarily sharing in community (home life) with strangers. Also, various retreats and other temporary living spaces for a specific group identity or sharing ideas might have interesting points to offer for those who wish to build a more enduring form of community based on those ideals. I used HelpX one summer, similar to Workaway. At one point I stayed for a month on a hobby farm with another student/HelpXer and the two folks who owned the place. (Never asked what their relationship was, but it wasn't romantic/sexual, and the whole subject never came up. It was incredibly liberating to live with people for whom sex was a non-issue.) They were very welcoming and accepting. We did all the chores together, ate all our meals together, spent most of our free time around each other. It was one of the best times in my life, marred only by the knowledge that it was temporary. I also spent last year living in a collective house, which is a different story. Suffice it to say that this whole thread fills me with both warm fuzzies and longing. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I don't know about a commune, per se, but the idea of sharing a large house or apartment block with a communal area really does appeal. A mix of own room and a communal area where you can socialise knowing that nothing more than talk will happen really seems like Ace Nirvana to me Link to post Share on other sites
clickie Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 What about cohousing? http://www.cohousing.org Link to post Share on other sites
deleted_account Posted February 27, 2016 Share Posted February 27, 2016 No, but sometimes I wish I could take all my friends with me to some island where no mean people could get to us... haha. I would never do something like that in real life, though. Mean people build character. Link to post Share on other sites
MenthaPiperita Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 I sometimes fantasize about starting a small co-housing community for people who are single and childfree by choice. While we wouldn't all have to be BFF's, the idea would be that we care for and support each other as needed. I think this kind of community is especially important for childfree singles since we don't have the legal benefits and built-in companionship that married couples and parents have. I just don't think I have the organizational skills, charisma, and energy to start something like this. I really recommend reading How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, by Bella DePaulo. As if this thread isn't evidence enough, this book shows you that many people are interested in living within communities of friends or others with similar values... and many of them are making that happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Alphaprocess Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Definitely. There are three of us who have known each other since we taught English in Greece decades ago and I would like it if we could all share a house. As it happens one of our number did in fact inherit a property from his late mother but I don't know if he'd be up for the idea! Link to post Share on other sites
Mocha Jo Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 I have some internet "horse" friends that have half-jokingly talked about starting our own commune. Each person with their own space, but communal space for horses, pastures, riding areas, shared chores and care for each other. Built in riding companions, and I wouldn't have to worry about falling off my horse in the woods and no one knowing I was out riding or to come looking for me until I didn't show up at work the next day. I would have loved living in a Shaker commune. Except for the religion part. Link to post Share on other sites
bluedragonwings Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 I would love it. Been in an apartment with two friends for like 5 years now. But they are buying a house and I'm on my own. There is just something nice about living with friends while still maintaining some independence. Link to post Share on other sites
shoshana72 Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 I would love to form a community or family like this. A dear friend and I used to talk about moving to Vermont with our kids and doing this very thing (she unfortunately passed away from breast cancer). And in the Dianic circle I used to belong to, the five of us wanted to rent a big old farmhouse together. Then one of us got married and another one got a boyfriend, and we had some serious drama and quit meeting for ritual. Anyway, I would still love to do this when my teen leaves home. The key things for me would be: space for solitude (I would need at least large one room to myself) mutually agreed upon ground rules flexibility for changing relationships (e.g., since I'm gray, if I ended up having a sexual relationship I would not want it to be a dealbreaker) consensual decision making I once saw something online about a community of best friends who built little houses in a cluster so they could spend their retirement years together. Throw in a big garden and a common building for meals and recreation and I think that would be just about perfect! PS - Just found the article I referred to: Best friends build a village of tiny houses in the middle of nowhere Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I guess it's not quite the kind of community you had in mind, Karenee, but I live with my daughter and son, in a house we designed for ourselves, on land that we're working to turn into a (reasonably ) self-sufficient smallholding. Since we came to live here, we've learned some important things that I think are worth sharing. About ourselves: Although we all love each other, and are good friends, it's become obvious that each of us needs some regular time and space to be alone, so this needs to be allowed for, both in the design of the living space and in the way we plan our day-to-day activities. This includes the fact that sometimes one of us will prefer to work on our own, and that's OK. It's really important to work out how to discuss problems/grievances constructively, without giving or taking offence. And never to be afraid of saying "I love you" and/or giving a hug when it's needed (or just "because" :) ) No matter how well you think you know someone there are unwelcome little surprises now and then. That's just life! About what we've set out to do: Because we're people who basically work with our brains rather than our hands, we're quite short on practical, manual skills, and a bit scared of tools and machinery (especially me :lol: ) You have to be prepared for a steep learning curve, and for making mistakes (lots of them :lol: ) If you can manage to laugh over your mistakes, it's better than crying. 7 acres is a LOT OF LAND when the ground is hard, the soil is poor and you're trying to create gardens, orchard, etc with your bare hands. We probably took on too much at first, and now we're trying to get things under control. We found that we need to be very adaptable. Sometimes it's worth while paying for a job to be done properly (if you can afford it, of course!) Having said all of that, we're very happy here, and we enjoy what we're achieving, even if we DO get frustrated or disheartened at times. It's a great place, with fresh, clear air and beautiful views, and we just love being here :) Gosh! I want to come live with you. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I've been fantasizing lately about winning the lottery, and what I would do with the money. First, I would find a property in the mountains with a lake. I'd build a large log cabin (community lodge) at one end, then surround the lake with a combination of Tiny Homes, log homes and vintage trailers. The lodge would have a large kitchen/dining area where we could all come together to prepare food and enjoy a meal. A media room to enjoy movies and tv shows. A fantastic library, of course. ;) It would be a gated community, and above the wrought iron gate would be the name: AVENDEL Some of us would live there year round, with plenty of accommodations left for vacationing AVENites to come visit. *sigh*...Dare To Dream :D Link to post Share on other sites
Fire Monkey Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Sign me up right now. edited to add: Tja, something like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Sign me up right now. edited to add: Tja, something like this? Yes! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Oh Tja (and Fire Monkey), you're breaking my heart! (Anyone got a spare $545 000 in their back pocket? Oh, and a permit to live in the US?) Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Sign me up right now. edited to add: Tja, something like this? That place sounds like it has my name on it :-P That's the price of a three bedroom apartment around here, much jelly Link to post Share on other sites
Mocha Jo Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Vermont is a great place to live :) As long as you like winter. Tja- that kind of community is exactly what would be lovely. Communal and separate. Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Vermont is a great place to live :) As long as you like winter. Tja- that kind of community is exactly what would be lovely. Communal and separate. I love the winter! Vermont would be an excellent choice! I've only driven through a small part of it, once...Gorgeous. My community would have plenty of spaces for "alone time" ;) Link to post Share on other sites
bluedragonwings Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I wonder what kind of response I would get on Craigslist. "Looking for group living arrangement. Cuddles possible but no sex. Preferably dorky folks. " Link to post Share on other sites
Fire Monkey Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Vermont is a great place to live :) As long as you like winter. Tja- that kind of community is exactly what would be lovely. Communal and separate. And space for horses, Mocha Jo. I think our first purchase as a community would be a communal snowplow. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Communal snowplough, my nose will do nicely :P Somewhere for all AVENistes animals, cars, a golf course, brewery equals Nirvana, and I volunteer to be both Head brewer and driver for anyone who cannot drive Link to post Share on other sites
Angel Gray Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I kind of all ready do.. I wish I didn't in retrospect... Two of them are great. Two of them make everything painful... Well, one has started getting better... but still... enough bad blood has been created. Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 A brewery and golf course would be good income ideas for the community. Bringing in funds, and job opportunities for AVEnites. Anyone with the experience could open a cafe at the brewery, and, of course, a bar/ restaurant would be needed for the golf course. I'd like to find an old rambling factory and open an antique mall, nearby. Renting spaces for folks to sell their wares. Hiring Aces to help run it. Maybe, someone with retail baking experience could open a bakery/cafe there. Crafters could charge for giving classes. Computer people could have a shop. So many ideas! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 545,000 for the property, but then you've gotta build the lodge. That could be another 500,000 or so. Surely we could pool a million bucks right? :) Rent out rooms to people looking for a quiet getaway, that might help, though the location is a bit remote so you might not get much business. I really like the idea though, maybe about when I'm ready to retire... Link to post Share on other sites
Fire Monkey Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 545,000 for the property, but then you've gotta build the lodge. That could be another 500,000 or so. Surely we could pool a million bucks right? :) Rent out rooms to people looking for a quiet getaway, that might help, though the location is a bit remote so you might not get much business. I really like the idea though, maybe about when I'm ready to retire... from the listing: "A year-round residence and a former Girl Scout lodge are situated at the end of Sky Acres Road. The house features four bedrooms and one bath. The lodge, roughly 3,500 square feet, has an open floor plan with a stone fireplace. One end of the lodge was formerly used as a kitchen. " Link to post Share on other sites
Mocha Jo Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Vermont has a very robust (and delicious) small brewery industry. We would be able to piggyback on the reputation already there :) I can't bake (or cook), but I'd love to learn to brew beer. And make artisan cheese- that's a thing in Vermont, too. I love cheese... Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 This is looking good! Come on lottery!!! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Mocha Jo Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Now- everyone start playing the lottery! Link to post Share on other sites
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