noparlpf Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I just saw this on tumblr and I don't get it. If you don't know somebody then how do you have a crush on them? It must be so weird to be allo. Link to post Share on other sites
Sleppy Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I wonder the same thing all the time! Allos continue to confuse me, it almost feels like I'm some kind of scientist trying to study them :) Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Same way a book can look wonderful and interesting when you read the synopsis, but when you actually get to read the thing it turns out to be a steaming pile of purple prosey crap that's more romantic plot tumor than actual story. You can have an idea about someone and get attached to them without actually knowing who they are as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hahaha no one knows! No one knows... Isn't crush a romantic thing though? Still, though, I don't really get romantics either (crushes and all that jazz) as I'm barely a romantic myself. I thought until recently a crush was you picking someone you thought you'd like and get along with, but apparently not. You have no choice in the matter, it's random or something? I don't know if that's right. It's just confusing. Allos are confusing. Hahaha # 4life Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Simple, they made some assumptions based on appearance or public behavior and the person turned out to be different in private. Link to post Share on other sites
an18059 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 The topic title sounded a little elitist before I even clicked on it... this isn't actually just an allosexual thing anyway; in the past I've definitely liked people who I didn't really know that well but had an idea about (like The Great WTF said), but when I spent more time around them and got to know more about them I realised that I had been imagining them all wrong and they weren't really how I thought they were, and as a consequence I didn't like them as much anymore. (I don't know if you've heard of the book Paper Towns? This is one of the main ideas explored in it, albeit rather pretentiously.) I also thought I should add that this is just something one person has written, and while a lot of people might have the same thing happen to them, it may not necessarily be representative of the entire allosexual population, which is what you seem to be suggesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Tell me about it ! One of the greatest mysteries of the universe, with "why does chocolate taste so good ?", "why do toasts always fall on the floor on the bad side ?" and "why do I exist ?". Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I thought until recently a crush was you picking someone you thought you'd like and get along with, but apparently not. You have no choice in the matter, it's random or something? I don't know if that's right. Quick off topic: No, it's not like that at all for me. I can pretty much choose my crushes among the people I find attractive, based on conscious personality things. But I've no idea on whether I'm normal in that regard.. Same way a book can look wonderful and interesting when you read the synopsis, but when you actually get to read the thing it turns out to be a steaming pile of purple prosey crap that's more romantic plot tumor than actual story. You can have an idea about someone and get attached to them without actually knowing who they are as a person. That is an extremely good analogy, actually. In a way those two things seem to be the same concept. Though with people there's the added difficulty that most will make irrational assumptions about the personality of a person based on their appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 to me "chill with" means spending time and if i have not really gotten to know someone then as i learn more about them i find out they have opinions or take actions that i find offensive (sometimes they hide these aspects on purpose such as abusers attempting to find someone else to abuse and sometimes it is just that they are crueler than i can handle) Link to post Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 It's not only allos. It's the same as a new friend that you meet in class. Maybe from the moments that you've spoken with them, it seems like they have a fun or similar personality... But if you meet outside of school to hang out for a longer time, you can find out they had a bad side to them like maybe they were racist but there weren't enough opportunities in school for it to come out. So asexuals aren't immune to that. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I thought until recently a crush was you picking someone you thought you'd like and get along with, but apparently not. You have no choice in the matter, it's random or something? I don't know if that's right. Quick off topic: No, it's not like that at all for me. I can pretty much choose my crushes among the people I find attractive, based on conscious personality things. But I've no idea on whether I'm normal in that regard.. It's an interesting topic... i too most definitely choose my crushes. I mean, I have to choose from the people my brain says "umm heyyyyyy" about, but most of the people I have an initial spark about I'm pretty strongly "nuh uh" so it goes away quite quickly. I've never been interested in someone I don't like... that doesn't really even make sense to me, tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I thought until recently a crush was you picking someone you thought you'd like and get along with, but apparently not. You have no choice in the matter, it's random or something? I don't know if that's right. Quick off topic: No, it's not like that at all for me. I can pretty much choose my crushes among the people I find attractive, based on conscious personality things. But I've no idea on whether I'm normal in that regard.. It's an interesting topic... i too most definitely choose my crushes. I mean, I have to choose from the people my brain says "umm heyyyyyy" about, but most of the people I have an initial spark about I'm pretty strongly "nuh uh" so it goes away quite quickly. I've never been interested in someone I don't like... that doesn't really even make sense to me, tbh. Interesting - I guess what I'm missing is just the attraction factor! Maybe if I ever feel attracted to someone the rest will fall into place. Why would you choose to have a crush though? It doesn't sound like a very pleasant thing, haha! By the way, I really don't think the OP intended to be offensive or elitest in any manner - he was just really confused. I get the feeling he found it and was just overwhelmed with a sense of confusion and came to post it here. Obviously I could be completely wrong, but I'm guessing that's what's happened. It may have just come across the wrong way because of the title. Don't be too hard on him : ( let's just have cake! Link to post Share on other sites
noparlpf Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 Yeah, I just totally can't wrap my head around how people do that. I'm not judging or anything, just baffled. I admit that I'm probably the weird one, though. I don't really do squishes either; my default assumption about strangers is that I'm not interested in knowing them, and if I haven't gotten to know an acquaintance at least moderately well yet I pretty much forget that they exist when they're not in front of me. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I'm a romantic person and most of my crushes weren't interested in me, but I had a few that I got to talk to or meet up with so I can understand where the picture is coming from. The idea of another person is, IMO, part of a crush. It's good for fantasies but not so much in reality lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Techie Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I have had crushes way in the past. For me it is a function of being heteroromantic. I cannot really explain it but I can get my head around it. Sexual attraction is what I cannot get my head around but that is because I have never experienced it. As I have noted in other threads, I kind of envy aromantics because they don't have only half the package. There is no attraction at all to annoy you. For me, I still notice attractive women but have to remind myself, "move along, nothing to see here". Link to post Share on other sites
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