Jump to content

If/When to Tell Them You Like Them?


Whispearl

Recommended Posts

Hey all! Like, a week and a half ago, I posted about when I should tell this guy I like, who I hadn't known very long at all, that I'm ace. And now I'm definitely telling him very soon because things are starting to pick up, and now I'm faced with a whole new question... do I tell him I have a crush on him/want to date him or wait for him to tell me?

It's really confusing. Because, like, I really like him. I'm pretty sure I'm terrible at hiding it, too. And I'm also fairly sure it's mutual, but I also have a history of misreading (perceived) romantic cues. I've been hearing the whole "the guy should tell the girl" thing, which I know is a little ridiculous but since enough people still go by it I don't wanna come off as too pushy. Especially since I'm the complete opposite when it comes to stuff like that.

There's also the fact that I don't wanna ruin the thing we have going. We hang out a lot and enjoy each others' company, and it's just going so amazingly that I don't wanna risk ruining what we have. But he's not very forward about a lot of things, and I'm thinking maybe he could be thinking the same thing. But that's also a risk.

We've also only known each other three weeks. I don't want it to seem like I'm rushing things, but when I already consider this guy one of my best friends... I mean, people ask people out they've only known a few weeks, right? Is that something that happens?

Regardless, I'd really appreciate your advice on the matter. I just really want something to happen, but there's so much confusing stuff to think about. I'd appreciate if more experienced people than me romance- and crush-wise could help me sort all this out! Thanks!

Link to post
Share on other sites

If I wanted to ask someone out, then I'd ask them out. Only way to find out how someone feels is to ask them. I wouldn't think "I don't wanna ruin the thing we have going," because, if I want more than whatever we currently have, then I want more, and I probably wouldn't be happy keeping things the way they are. It doesn't mean I "ruined" anything by wanting more. It simply means I acknowledge my feelings (whatever they are) and decide whether or not I want to express and act on them. It's okay to want more and it's okay to express that. I wish you the best as you figure out what to do!

Link to post
Share on other sites

If I wanted to ask someone out, then I'd ask them out. Only way to find out how someone feels is to ask them. I wouldn't think "I don't wanna ruin the thing we have going," because, if I want more than whatever we currently have, then I want more, and I probably wouldn't be happy keeping things the way they are. It doesn't mean I "ruined" anything by wanting more. It simply means I acknowledge my feelings (whatever they are) and decide whether or not I want to express and act on them. It's okay to want more and it's okay to express that. I wish you the best as you figure out what to do!

That makes a lot of sense. It's just like, it's not that I don't like what we have now, I just feel like we could go somewhere else with it and it's exciting. So I don't know if it's worth the risk yet? But that's true, I guess if I really was as content as I like to say I am, I wouldn't be thinking about this so much. Thanks so much for your input!

Link to post
Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace

I'm very risk-averse so I would usually try to test the waters before. Kind of bringing up the topic without actually saying it just to see if there's a chance of it being reciprocated. Don't wait too long as I've heard from some friends of cases where they waited too long and the person moved on, thinking they weren't interested. Only later on, they kind of noted: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Good luck!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm very risk-averse so I would usually try to test the waters before. Kind of bringing up the topic without actually saying it just to see if there's a chance of it being reciprocated. Don't wait too long as I've heard from some friends of cases where they waited too long and the person moved on, thinking they weren't interested. Only later on, they kind of noted: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Good luck!!

That sounds like something I'm comfortable with. I'm just so scared he'll chicken out or panic or not feel the same way if I say something, so figuring out how to do a gradual thing like you suggest sounds ideal! Thank you so much!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...