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My crush likes me back, but I don't get what's happening


HallsiKallsi

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HallsiKallsi

So I don't have a lot of places to ask this, so I wanted to put this here:

I just started high school and it took little to no time to get a crush on this girl, we talked to each other and we got to know each other, I only got more and more feelings from her, we started hanging around a lot in school and some ither friends asked both of us seperately if something was going on between us

We had decided to go get ice cream on a Saturday, well, when she had been asked that question, se wanted to know if I thought it was a date, long story short, it ends with her saying she doesn't want to deal with dating right now

So I get really sad, I want to avoid her but I don't cause my feelings are still there, I still love her to death, but she thinks I'm alright, this goes on for a while until she blatantly asks me if I like her, hesitatingly answering "yes" we talked about that, it ended with me being really upset and pissed off and angry and her feeling very guilty and sad, so the next day we talked about what was going on, I asked if she has feelings for me since she had been hinting that in the previous discussion, she said yes, but seems afraid of breaking up the group of friends if we date and maybe "break up", I ask her if she doesn't want to forever or for now, she makes Ruffles

Not really answering while still answering

So now we're here, it's her birthday, I'm talking to her about all this how that I've calmed down and she (I think) is not sad and feeling down tomorrow.

So what do you think I should do, rather, what do you think is going on!?

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Curious Decay

She seems reluctant to date because it may destabilize the group, like she said. When friends begin to date other friends can become excluded and the whole situation can become complicated. If she were to date you and this were to happen then perhaps it would cause her to feel bad about doing this and then breakup with you to stop such a thing from progressing. She seems unsure whether or not she wants to never date you or wait until a later time, it may depend on how the group as a whole progresses, if she ever comes to the conclusion that she cares more about you then the group, or if she at some point believes that by dateing you it will not negatively affect them then she might decide to take a chance with you. So yeah, from what I can tell that's the thing, she may very well like you but she also likes here friends/other members of the group and so its a tossup. You might want to just give her time and not pressure her, you can put it on the table that your open to talk and go to the next stage one day, but again, one should not put pressure on the other person if they are not all that willing to go into a relationship like that.

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I think you should respect her (or anyone's) decision in not dating. A relationship is about two people; not just you and your wants. If you can't respect the other half of the relationship/the other person then you have no business dating period. Also, don't forget the fact that there are fish in the sea. I know it's a cliche line, but people seriously forget that when they have their hearts set on something.

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Sounds like this person isn't interested or available for the type of relationship you want with them, therefore, I'd accept them for who they are and what they want right now, "let go," and move on. I wish you the best as you decide what to do!

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She likes you, yet she's making the decision not to date anyone at this time, including you - that's fine, it means other factors are in play. That's all there is to it. Just as your life involves more than just her, so does her life involve more than just you. You just can't see it from where you're standing, since you aren't her. Her not dating you doesn't have to do with you, don't take it personally.

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