Jump to content

Multiple questions about asexuality


cora_meilione

Recommended Posts

cora_meilione

Hi, I have been questioning whether or not I am Asexual for a while now and i guess i could get some advice from some Asexual people. I am still romantically attracted to people and like to kiss but prefer closed mouth. I am a virgin and I also find no joy in seeing other people nude. I am only aesthetically attracted to boys and do not wish to have any sexual relations. I do not have any wishes to be intimate any time soon but I am a freshman in high school. I have no fetishes, sexual desires, sexual fantasies, or any sex dreams. I am really confused because I still want to date and have affections but I do not like anything sexual. Could this just be a phase? Can I know without having sex? Please help,
thank you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel, and I think a lot of us can relate. I've never understood the need to have sex to consolidate a relationship and even find little intimate things disturbing... but I still want a relationship and everything that a relationship has aside from the sexual nature often involved. A lot of what you've said sounds consistent to what a lot of people would call asexual, so my worry is that you've read up on what it means to be asexual and are following the most rigid idea of what that means, which is something that I also did, so that you'll feel more accepted or will have found the correct identity or whatever.

Because,

The great thing about understanding yourself, your sexuality and your gender is that it's no one's business but your own. So you might be asexual but interested in a relationship with some intimacy, but at the same time you might be straight (or whatever) but with a low interest in sex. The great thing about life is that you get the chance to change your mind about who you are when you do figure all this out.

In terms of your last few questions... I have no idea. I'm 26 and still wondering the same thing. :) I do have something helpful to add though, and that is, the older you get the less you care about these things and start melting into a big comfortable pillow that is your own personality. Things become less and less about labels and identities and sorting everyone into neat little boxes and eventually it all turns into a big marshmallowy combination of how you feel about yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! You can know your orientation without having to date or have sex. Many people know their orientation from an early age, including asexuality.

There are different types of attractions, including romantic, sexual and aesthetic. Each of these attractions are separate from each other, so you could desire, and want to date without any desire for sex. Many people here feel the same way, wanting to date, but not wanting anything sexual.

It sounds like you could be asexual, but it's up to you to decide if that label fits you. You may also find more information in this post: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123565-read-me-a-guide-and-faq-to-the-asexual-q-a-wonderland/?p=1061355602

Link to post
Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace

From what you are telling us, it sounds like you might be asexual, but only you can decide that, not us. While it's true that it might be a phase or you might be a late bloomer, that doesn't mean you aren't asexual right now. If that changes in the future then so be it, you can be not asexual anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You are what you are and you don't ever need a label. If you think that you're too young or "inexperienced" to know for sure then that's fine, you don't have to seek out the label. You know what you like and what you're attracted to and to what extent you experience any form of attraction. It's possible that maybe in a few years your mind will change, but that doesn't mean that you're too young to know, because a lot of people know those kind of things from a very young age. Just do what you feel is right and don't worry about the label.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...