CheekyStoat Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Not that I'm against demiwhatsits, but I feel like I'm the opposite of what one might call a demiromantic. (Clockwise, anti-clockwise kind of thing.) Anyway, now that's clear: Anyone else feel that way? Demisexuals are people who only feel sexual towards someone that they're already formed an emotional bond with. I kind of made up demiromantic (as far as I know, haven't seen it elsewhere yet) but it'd be the same idea, someone who's only interested in having a romantic relationship once a bond has been formed. Me, the more I get to know anyone the less interest I have in them. I'll meet someone get on fantastic and we really click but after a week I, generally, never want to see them again. With just two exceptions (not sure what makes them special, probably their equal disinterest in me XD). Anyway, just stuff that was on my mind tonight and I thought I'd see if anyone else felt that way or if you have thoughts on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Minakie Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Demiromantic does exist. You can check the romantic orientations on the AVEN wiki, but I think you intuitively got it right :P I don't feel that way because I'm demiromantic myself :) Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 "Anyone else feel that way?" Sometimes, yeah. If I learn parts of their personality that I don't really like, if they seem disinterested when talking to me (like they are just being too polite to say "bye") or when they have high expectations of my feelings for them. Loving somebody is exhausting, too. ^^° I can like somebody a lot, but I will still need to have a break from seeing their face, haha. And when I have to see them too often, I might end up experiencing some negativity, which is not good for the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
fiѕh Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/ I found this here... it has a name so I guess other people feel like that, too x) Can't add anything else to that tho. :flies away: Link to post Share on other sites
Minakie Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/ I found this here... it has a name so I guess other people feel like that, too x) Can't add anything else to that tho. :flies away: Dayum, there really is a label for everything haha Link to post Share on other sites
CheekyStoat Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Well, I'll be damned. I even spent some time trying to look it up on Google. Thanks for that link, Amoeba! It's not necessarily romantic feelings for me but it's close enough. I must not be the only one then. XD (If anyone is and wanted to chat, I'd be interested.) Not really like that for me, Autumn, I don't even have a reason, there usually isn't something specific that makes me not want to be around them, I just find myself avoiding them and not wanting their company. I force it a lot because I know logically that I need people to hang out with every now and then but it's a real challenge for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 If it's not romantic feelings you're experiencing, perhaps a better term would be 'frayplatonic'? With it being related to platonic relationships, and not romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
CheekyStoat Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Maybe, Baam, good point. ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Do you feel like this only in person, or online as well? I was thinking perhaps you could fulfill your social needs with friends online instead? It may not be quite the same - I'm not sure - but you shouldn't have to force yourself to hang out with people if you don't wish to. Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Moved thread from Asexual Q&A to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. SkyWorld Asexual Q&A Co-Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
CharmVif3075 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/ I found this here... it has a name so I guess other people feel like that, too x) Can't add anything else to that tho. :flies away: Wow I think I found something that fits! Sometimes when I make new acquaintances, I'm like " !!!!!! :))) " but the more we build a friendship, the more I am 100% content with this friendship alone and wouldn't actually want more. Link to post Share on other sites
CheekyStoat Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Baam, I find I do struggle with similar experiences online as well just not quite to the same degree of extremes. And I do spend a lot of time in the chat here (and another elsewhere) to assist with my social needs but it just doesn't fulfill them, unfortunately. I do have to force it though, I've let myself hermit away before and where in some ways it has been gloriously refreshing and freeing, it's also been rather damaging to the part of me that needs some kind of a social life. I dunno. XD I have two people that I consider to be genuine IRL friends but because I'm me and like to make my own life difficult I don't see them very often. XD I travel a lot so I'm rarely in the same city. I'm always really open to trying to make more friendships in the hopes that I find "that person" though. Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Well I guess it depends on how good you are at meeting and talking to people! Personally, I'm terrible haha! You say you move around a lot, but are there any hobbies you enjoy, or perhaps have been wanting to try? It's a great way to socialise and you don't have to see the people all the time. I do karate once a week, which isn't too bad. Maybe you could find something that doesn't require you to stay in one city and stay with one club though. Otherwise, I know you said online isn't as fulfilling, but (I'm sorry, I don't know how familiar you are with this) online gaming is a good way to talk to people - IF you pick the right game. I know it's well known for being the game for gaming geeks (and that's not a bad thing to me, but depends on the person hah), but World of Warcraft has quite a good community. As opposed to League of Legends, which has a lot of... Angry... People on it. Link to post Share on other sites
CheekyStoat Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 I have done that in the past, the place I'm currently at I've just kind of...not wanted to. XD I was considering going to a nearby AVEN meet up but in the end I decided I didn't really need anything at the moment. I see co-workers as I arrive to work and when I leave, we chat for five minutes and that's been enough. XD I rock climb, or I used to. The longer it's been since I last climbed the worse I am and the more unfit so it's *really* hard to find a climbing buddy, everyone wants trad partners for these insane routes and I'm just like...can we start just a little bit smaller? XD It's the only group I've joined in the area, maybe I'll see if there are any skiers/snowboarders who can show me around the mountain. Don't want to accidentally fall off a cliff. Trouble with where I am is that it's a crazy adventure sports community and I'm still intermediate but I'm surrounded by professionals with sponsors. XD I dunno, I'll see how long I can go with what I'm doing. I try gaming (I really do) but I've only finished a handful of games. I subbed to FFXIV but as soon as I beat the game I just lost interest. XD I tried WoW quit by 46 (and I know the game doesn't start until lvl whatever the heck they're at now but I just could't go on), was successful with DDO for awhile, Champions for a month until that was shut down, etc. I'm not a gamer, so actually I hadn't heard that before. Do you have any recommendations? Link to post Share on other sites
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