ThinkingWithPortals Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I'm just looking for some opinions here :) I've never been someone who has felt the need to be in a relationship, and I'd never go looking for someone just for the purpose of finding a boyfriend. However, for the last couple of months I've been thinking that it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with, watch movies and play video games (ugh so cheeesy xD). I've always said I would never do online dating, and that I wanted to actually go out and meet people and if we happened to become friends and one day end up in a relationship that would be really cool. But I'm pretty sure I have never met another asexual person, male or female, and other than the meetups (which are all a bit far for me to go) I don't know how I'd meet other asexual people. Has anyone tried online dating? If so what are your experiences of it? And if not, would/have you ever considered it? Cheers guys ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
somethingrandom Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I feel the same too - I've never had a relationship and thought it would just sort of happen eventually through meeting different people in life but nothing ever has. I keep thinking lately about trying it since a relationship with another asexual is probably going to work best for me, and so online dating is the only option I really have but I'm just hesitant. I think I might in a couple of years or so, I suppose I'm not too bothered at the moment otherwise yeah I would give it a go :) Link to post Share on other sites
ThinkingWithPortals Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I feel the same too - I've never had a relationship and thought it would just sort of happen eventually through meeting different people in life but nothing ever has. I keep thinking lately about trying it since a relationship with another asexual is probably going to work best for me, and so online dating is the only option I really have but I'm just hesitant. I think I might in a couple of years or so, I suppose I'm not too bothered at the moment otherwise yeah I would give it a go :) I had one relationship which only lasted about 2 months because he really wanted something I really didn't want lol. I've been thinking the same thing, maybe give it a couple more years to get my life on track and then give it a go. I'm also very hesitant about meeting people from online, for a few reasons, but I might figure something out in a couple of years. Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 For us introverted men, online dating is totally fucking worthless. Women will never initiate communication with us, even if we wait until the day after forever. Link to post Share on other sites
ThinkingWithPortals Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 For us introverted men, online dating is totally fucking worthless. Women will never initiate communication with us, even if we wait until the day after forever. Damn that sounds pretty crappy. I've not tried online dating before but I have chatted on Facebook and other android apps. I'm an introvert myself and find it very difficult to initiate conversation, online or in person. I found that guys were quite willing to initiate conversation. My introverted guy friends have said before that women never initiate conversation with them online, and they don't go out much because they'd rather stay at home, so meeting people (women especially) is tough for them. I wish I had some helpful advice for you but I have no idea what to say :/ Link to post Share on other sites
somethingrandom Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I feel the same too - I've never had a relationship and thought it would just sort of happen eventually through meeting different people in life but nothing ever has. I keep thinking lately about trying it since a relationship with another asexual is probably going to work best for me, and so online dating is the only option I really have but I'm just hesitant. I think I might in a couple of years or so, I suppose I'm not too bothered at the moment otherwise yeah I would give it a go :) I had one relationship which only lasted about 2 months because he really wanted something I really didn't want lol. I've been thinking the same thing, maybe give it a couple more years to get my life on track and then give it a go. I'm also very hesitant about meeting people from online, for a few reasons, but I might figure something out in a couple of years. Who knows? Yeah I'm just thinking maybe in a couple of years but I am nearly 20 soon... I'm not sure when is like 'late' to have never had any relationship. Some times I think I'm only 19 and I've got other stuff to worry about but then sometimes I think I'm 19 and still haven't had a relationship... it's tricky Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I don't know anything about online dating, it looks more like you just want a friend to hang out with, by the cuddle and games. I do that with my friend so maybe that's what you're looking for instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Amy Ghost Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Nope, never tried it. I've been so far in one relationship. A long distance relationship, which ended badly and left me quite broken. Been half a year and i still feel it. Would I try it? Well, I do feel sometimes that I'd like to have someone. But one, I'm hesitant because of my experience. And two, I'm beyond usual introvert. I'm a big loner and I may be actually missing some emotions. So, I kinda ask myself if I even should just because of that. What worth would I be to someone? Link to post Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I tried it and so far, even with the occasional bad eggs, it's been overall positive. :) I'm shy and most people at animal lover events are women or non-single guys. Plus, the types of guys I like don't usually go to bars or go out to parties (and I really dislike those activities myself)... So online dating's literally the best option. Plus, on sites like okcupid, you can see the answers for your most important factors, so that saves you a lot of heartbreak down the road. Imagine we hit it off but the guy ends up having way too many physical needs and is allergic to all fluffy animals? That'd be sad. :P Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 What's up with people thinking of online dating as a lesser way than meeting up in real life? I honestly don't think finding someone's profile on a site is any different than striking up conversation with a random stranger in a bar. Actually, it is, but in that if you read someone's profile you can actually check how compatible you two are before starting conversation, and it's much better than a blind date. The internet is a great means of getting in touch with people who share the same interests as you; it's MADE for that purpose, basically. I've been on (and have recently returned to) a handful of online dating sites and, despite never having dated anyone from one, and despite not having even been interested in people from one, I can't say my experience has been negative. I built some connections from there; I've made friends, even. It's much like what you'd do IRL but with a different method. My suggestion is to just try it; you can go back on your steps if you don't like it, and if you do, you'll have gained something from the experience :) Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Moving thread from Asexual Q&A to Asexual Relationships. SkyWorld Asexual Q&A Co-Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Asvel Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Tried it, didn't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
bikecycles Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 OKCupid recently added asexual options. This allows you to identify yourself, if you wish, as asexual or demisexual, and you can filter potential matches by these same labels. Could be something to look into? Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 doesn't work for me because the 20 year olds that I message look at my age and go "um, no thanks creep" and they are sooo right to do so #NotACreepJustOld Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 If you're a man, online dating is a bit like Test of Strength, that carnival game where you use a big wooden mallet to hit a lever which sends a weight up the column to ring a bell. Make the bell ring 3 times in a row, you win a cheap prize. Problem is, if you hang around the game long enough, you notice that hardly anyone rings the bell 3 times in a row. That's because the proprietor and his assistant have the game rigged so you can ring the bell once or twice, but they'll sabotage your third attempt. They'll let maybe 1 out of 100 people win, if only to show the game can be won; but for the rest of us, it's a waste of time to even try. Meetups OTOH are more like the carnival dunk tank. If your aim is good enough to hit that little metal disc with that softball, the seat collapses out from under the swimsuit-clad girl, into the water she falls, and you win a prize. Likely a cheap prize, but the game is much tougher to rig. Link to post Share on other sites
Nidwin Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Pointless for me as I'm "probably" the only ace in this bloody country. Link to post Share on other sites
jack616 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Thinkingwithportals, give it a try! ^_^ as with anything in life, it is what you make it. Create a profile, try not to obsess over it or take it too seriously, try to have fun. If you can meet some new friends or more, fantastic. Don't 'give up' on in-person interactions too. Just see it as opening more options for yourself to communicate with more people. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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