The_Halfmoon Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 welp, October 1st, let's make it official. The day I officially accept that I will die alone. Because I'm 34 and I cannot for the life of me be attracted to girls older than 25. I would love LOVE to be attracted to age appropriate women, but some part of my brain is so resistant to the idea that I would rather just throw in the towel. Better die alone than with a woman that is emotionally mature. I am, without a doubt, a horrible person. The thing is I'm kiiiinda done hearing from girls that the age difference is problem. Ok, it's happened twice, but I'm sure it will keep happening a lot. It doesn't help that at work I'm surrounded by 20 year old girls who flirt with me nonstop because they think I'm way younger, and I get my hopes up and remember "oh I'm an asexual 34 year old and they don't know that." I have come to accept that I am simply a gross creep and should resign myself to platonic friendships, and nothing romantic. And of course the question is: well why not just date someone in your age range you creepy fuck? Maybe if I wasn't asexual as fuck things would be different, and I would be motivated simply out of a desire for sex to date anyone that'd fuck me... But the opposite is what's up. The lack of sexual attraction actually allows me to ignore age-appropriate women and focus on girls who don't even know who Jeff Goldblum is. I'll just continue to have platonic friendships and maybe I'll magically connect with a woman my age and will move on to the next level. Or platonic friendships with younger girls will supply the injection of youth that'll keep me satisfied without any need of romance. But as of now, I am too old to date. I really should have a talk with my mother to see what the fuck she did to me to make me so weird... though it may be all the mercury I ate as a kid. So much tuna. I'm 99.999% certain sure I can't pin this one on my parents though. Well my dad did date a 31 year old when he was into his 60s, but everyone does that. Link to post Share on other sites
Nidwin Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I AM GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT !!! :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 I don't understand references post-2006 *puts on Justin Timberlake's Cry me a River* Link to post Share on other sites
Barking Sands Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I've been thinking about this topic since you posted it, and still don't have a really solid answer for you. I think you could try for platonic friendships with some women your age. You don't have to find a person sexually appealing to have a good friendship or relationship with them. I'm 35, grey-sexual, and I've had similar thoughts to your own, but I don't feel the same way by the sound of things. I'm content living and working alone, and have been for quite some time. Knowing that I'm older and less experienced than an average person by as far and wide as I am ... yeah it can be hard. But a lot of things are hard, and that's just one of them. I also see myself as coming across as a "creep" more often than not, but I know who I am and why I'm different to a fair degree. This comes from simply being honest with myself and how I feel; I use introspection to remember why I act the way I do and where I've triumphed in life -- and it's really quite impossible to get me to feel less adequate as a person. I hope you find the same self-confidence in knowing that you have a purpose and you're not deviating from the life you were "meant to have" by simply not being in a relationship that you don't feel like having. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 to be fair I prefer younger women mainly because they are like really smart pets that come potty trained for the most part they're so cute and you don't have to listen to what they're saying because it's almost impossible that anything with any substance will come out of those adorable faces After 25 it's not... the same. It's like one of those really big dogs that still think they're a puppy and jump on your lap. And you're like "NO! you're not a lap dog, you're a yard dog! yard dog!" Ok, no I'm just kidding and am not that much of a misogynist. The truth is I think I can only relate to very very immature people. My male friends also tend to be much younger, and my old friends from high school kinda gross me out... the single ones with their cocaine parties (which have 20 year olds, but like... not in any way the type of 20 year olds I'm attracted to). And the married, wholesome friends are even worse. come to think of it, I haven't hung out with since turning 30. I'll be fine after I make it huge and move to LA. Then they'll love me. They's ALL love me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Eh, age differences are fine. Just do it. Relatedly, I wish I didn't know who Jeff Goldblum was. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Relatedly, I wish I didn't know who Jeff Goldblum was. But.... but... "The Fly"... one of the most classic high-budget Nausea Fuel horrors of all time... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Yes, the Fly was great, I agree... Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Eh, age differences are fine. Just do it. I remember feeling like a pedo when I was first attracted to my girlfriend and thought she was like 18.. then it turned out she is 2 months younger than me. So.. I don't know what I'm saying, my point I guess is I agree, just go for it. ^^' Relatedly, I wish I didn't know who Jeff Goldblum was. But.... but... "The Fly"... one of the most classic high-budget Nausea Fuel horrors of all time... Something tells me I should go look up Jeff Goldblum and The Fly. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 well I think you guys have a point thanks, I've gotten motivated to shave and eat healthy so I can look younger! here's a pic: Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 to be fair I prefer younger women mainly because they are like really smart pets that come potty trained for the most part they're so cute and you don't have to listen to what they're saying because it's almost impossible that anything with any substance will come out of those adorable faces After 25 it's not... the same. It's like one of those really big dogs that still think they're a puppy and jump on your lap. And you're like "NO! you're not a lap dog, you're a yard dog! yard dog!" Ok, no I'm just kidding and am not that much of a misogynist. The truth is I think I can only relate to very very immature people. My male friends also tend to be much younger, and my old friends from high school kinda gross me out... the single ones with their cocaine parties (which have 20 year olds, but like... not in any way the type of 20 year olds I'm attracted to). And the married, wholesome friends are even worse. come to think of it, I haven't hung out with since turning 30. I'll be fine after I make it huge and move to LA. Then they'll love me. They's ALL love me. That's all ageist misogyny but it's FUNNY ageist misogyny. Funny-ness is extremely important. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 I dunn even know what I mean by dating anyway... I think I'm just confused by my asexuality and dealing with years of dating 20 year old girls (didn't date a girl over 21 until I was 31 and that was around the time I realized I was never going to develop a real sexual attraction), and I'm just now realizing I can date again but finding that the whole OKcupid ace community is 22 and under And I work shitty jobs so I can get time to work on creative stuff... which means most of the girls I work with are students. It probably has to do with the fact that I "reset" my life at 31, abandoning adult responsibilities to pursue my dreams, which means I'm absolutely not responsible and people over 25 are, in fact, adults in the full sense. I do think abandoning dating is actually a good idea, and what I probably need is friends and I'm trying to find friendship through dating which is stupid and too much work but yes, I have a crazy misogynist sense of humour which is why I stopped writing and doing comedy, so I can stop making those type of jokes... but it's funny dammit still a terrible person Link to post Share on other sites
Kalyke Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I thought 34 year old men were actually looking for 20 year old women (can't call them "girls"). Anyway, 34 is about when I gave up too. I still hope, but I live in such an isolated place. Well, I always wanted to live in BC. Darned, too bad I am well past 30! Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 I dunno, I am plagued by guilt over liking young "women." I actually was asked out by a girl I liked very much and stopped all contact with her and deleted her off of Facebook because it's a nice fantasy but actually dating someone 14 years younger is weird to me. I think most 34 year olds like 20 year olds because of the sex... which is not an issue for me. But asexual girls are super sensitive to age differences in my experience. Not all, but many 20 year old ace girls are just scared of guys their own age, and a much older man is probably as appealing as dating a sasquatch Link to post Share on other sites
3seven6 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I kind of relate. I tend to find myself attracted to guys around 25 ish, which I think is for a number of reasons. I think I myself have arrested development and stopped maturing around that point if not earlier, really my heart has never accepted that I had to get past that point of being at college and just hanging out, listening to music, eating crappy food and getting by with a shitty bar job for a few hours a week. I also think I generally have a dislike for responsibility and accountability. Part of me feels like dating someone my age or older as is expected, feels to me like dating my dad. I quite like it when I appear to be good at adulting too though, and to get away with it, the person I'm adulting in front of has to be worse at it so that they're impressed. There's also the fact that I'm not sure I truly understand what I want, whether it is to date or just be friends because I don't know if I know what the difference is. I have a real fondness for most people for about 6 months, so basically the emotional depth of a puppy. My friends have been impressed with me recently because I'm finally focusing on a career and training to be an accountant which is all proper and adult and stuff, they don't know my motivation is so I can work for myself at home in my pj's and not really talk to people. So, yeah, giving up too. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 As a side note, I actually trained to be an accountant and after tens and tens of thousands of dollars and years of hard work I realized it was the worst job possible (for me) And at least the type of accounting I did was insanely social and not in any way condusive to pj's and @home work. But that was 2008 (just before the economic crisis) so things may have changed now Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 to demonstrate the quick degeneration into an immature weirdo - Me at 27, at a work party (don't have many pics of then, thank god) Me @ 32 years old selling guitars at Best Buy while doing stand-up at night Me at 33, with an afro you should worship Link to post Share on other sites
3seven6 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 That is amazing hair. I'm getting the training for free, which kind of explains my motivation to do it. My brain enjoys learning stuff even if I don't really want to apply it the real world. I'd quite like to be a permanent student. I like the idea of a rebirth, at 24 I had a government job, mortgage, fiancé, pension plan etc, then I destroyed my life. I have none of that stuff now, nothing officially 'valuable', but life is so much better, I get to be me, and regardless of how awful I am as a person, I'd much rather be that weirdo than some cardboard construction of what I thought I was meant to be. Sorry, accidental deep moment. Go be you. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 So I'm on OKCupid still... just window shopping, I'll buy me a shiny new 20 year old when I'm a rich 40 year old in Hollywood. I promise with time it'll seem more like a loveable quirk than a pathological refusal to accept age appropriate women Link to post Share on other sites
truetrue Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 At least you're trying. I approve, especially since you limit yourself to those ages (damn young women, I shake my fist in envy) and you are a self proclaimed terrible person so it's better to stay away from amazing 30 something year olds. You'll find your companionship, you have a nice, strong personality, I refuse to believe you won't get what you want :) Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 thanks, but realistically I'm really not even sure if I'm even interested in anything more than friends... just like most things, I like the IDEA, but the reality is just like... whatever maybe I should just adopt a puppy... I may just want to take care of a small innocent creature and wires are getting crossed into something else I'm worse than Hitler no seriously... Alois Hitler, Adolf's dad... he was 23 years older than his mom and look what happened Link to post Share on other sites
praetorius Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 The puppy plan might not work so well as you hope, given your comments above about dogs that still think they're puppies. Maybe try dating a photograph of a puppy? Admittedly, I'm probably horrible at giving dating advice, because "photograph of a puppy" already exceeds my personal relationships experience level. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I like the idea of a rebirth, at 24 I had a government job, mortgage, fiancé, pension plan etc, then I destroyed my life. I have none of that stuff now, nothing officially 'valuable', but life is so much better, I get to be me, and regardless of how awful I am as a person, I'd much rather be that weirdo than some cardboard construction of what I thought I was meant to be. This post is another "like" of your likable post. thanks, but realistically I'm really not even sure if I'm even interested in anything more than friends... just like most things, I like the IDEA, but the reality is just like... whatever I can relate a bit. This is how I felt when I still thought I was heterosexual. "Yeah, being with someone would be nice. But in a relationship I would have to do this and that and meh, nah, I'm fine alone". Nowadays I think "Being with someone might be a good thing. But my relationship will have to look like this and that. Hopefully somebody else wants the same things that I do and ignores the norm just as I do". Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I feel like I'm done with trying too. I've realized recently that every time I was in "love" I was never actually happy. Sure, the initial thrill of being attracted to a lady was nice and all, but would quickly be replaced by stress, anxiety, depression, fear, and fury, none of which make for a happy time. And worst of all, I never even got to ask the girl out, or when I did they rejected. Yeah, for me, it's not really worth the trouble anymore. :( Link to post Share on other sites
3seven6 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Ah yes, the alluring idea of relationships. Then I start adding the whole: no sex, certain physical contact but not much, hatred of loud breathing or people who eat noisily, tendency to lie for no reason, refusal to act appropriately in social situations, easily bored, not really interested in your problems etc. Then I realise I will die alone and probably deserve to. However, those considering getting a dog. Do it, preferably from a shelter. They are amazing and will bring you joy. Link to post Share on other sites
3seven6 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Additionally though, being a 'yard dog' is frigging great. I wouldn't go back to my puppy days if you paid me. I like knowing I have teeth enough to rip your throat out:) Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 I feel that puppy comment will haunt me for while Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I feel that puppy comment will haunt me for while Then there's "he was 23 years older than his mom". Link to post Share on other sites
Dethsdream Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I am dealing with the exact opposite situation. I'm twenty years old, and I can only see myself dating an older person if I were to actually give dating another try because I have basically nothing in common with the rest of my "generation". I haven't really given dating too much serious thought because I would definitely have to be with another asexual because I just can't do a mixed relationship... but OKCupid has zero hits for anyone that is asexual in my area. It's a lost cause, I think. Sorry I don't have any useful advice, but hopefully it helps that you're not alone ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
The_Halfmoon Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 I feel that puppy comment will haunt me for while Then there's "he was 23 years older than his mom". Hitler's dad was 23 years older than his mom... I actually didn't know this fact until I said I'm worse than Hitler, then I just thought "wait, I bet you back then his dad was an old dude that married a super young woman," and I was right I'm not a Hitler expert I really should've not gone for water from the Hitler well... now I have to deal with the image of a misogynist, ageist dude that's into Hitler... Link to post Share on other sites
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