Niliinvas Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I've been asking myself this for awhile now. If you're wondering what I mean by isolated, allow me to elaborate: I've been cyber schooled since I was 9 years old. This means that I do school over the internet, aka, I don't interact with kids my age on the daily. This also means I have no friends and that I don't socialize with people outside of my immediate family often, if at all. About 3 weeks to a month ago I started identifying as Asexual. I've known about the orientation since I was 13 and I knew that I could fall under the Ace spectrum since I've never felt sexual attraction, but I figured I'd wait and see if I suddenly "bloomed" before I started using the label. The past 3 weeks have been hot and cold, to say the least. At first I felt free, and that I finally understood myself, but then the doubts started to settle in. I started feeling like I wasn't a valid asexual, that I was just convincing myself that I was ace to feel special or different, and that if I got to know someone I'd feel sexual attraction and then I'd be a liar and a pretender. What if the the reason I've never experienced sexual attraction is because I've never truly socialised with kids my own age other than over the internet? I just don't know what to do... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 By definition, the only validity of asexual is lack of sexual attraction and/or lack of sexual desire for partnered sex. Sometimes people feel sexual attraction after they have identified as asexual. It happens sometimes to people, you're not the first and most certainly not the last. Maybe you will feel sexual attraction someday, maybe you won't, nobody can see the future. But what is certain is right here and right now, and the unknown future doesn't invalidate what you feel. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sirah-loves-cake Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 One of the great things about the asexual label is that it's not permanent. Some people identify by it for a time, it then as they understand themselves better, they find that another label might be more apt. Feel free to use the label as long as it describes you, but don't let the label define you. If it stops working, stop using it :) I wish you well on your journey, and I hope you'll have some cake in the meantime Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kalyke Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Have you looked at pictures of girls on the internet? Have you seen girls at the mall? Girls are everywhere, not just in classrooms. There is no reason to identify, or label yourself as anything. People are way too quick to hunt for labels. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
residentmusician Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 You can still be asexual, even if you haven't had much interaction with people your age! If you don't feel sexual attraction, and you feel that the label fits you, then by all means call yourself asexual! If you feel sexual attraction in the future, you can reevaluate your label; people change. That doesn't make this any less valid of an identity for you right now :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) One of the great things about the asexual label is that it's not permanent. No label is permanent, asexual or not. As you mentioned, the label doesn't define you... but that works for all labels. No label, asexual, bi, gay, straight, etc. defines a person whole. Just only a small part of them, but there's so much more to their personality and individuality. Edit: Yes, if people do longer feel like one thing, they are free to identify as another or if anything at all. Labels, in my opinion, are not meant to put people in boxes, but to help people connect with others to know that they are not alone. Edited September 28, 2015 by SkyWorld Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Niliinvas Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 Have you looked at pictures of girls on the internet? Have you seen girls at the mall? Girls are everywhere, not just in classrooms. There is no reason to identify, or label yourself as anything. People are way too quick to hunt for labels. I've seen girls, of course, but I've never wanted to have sex with them or felt any attraction to them. Or anyone, for that matter, but I'm 15 and I don't know if I'm actually Ace or its just me being a teenager. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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