Am I perhaps asexual?

[Rinka]

Hello!
I'm 18 and really confused about my sexuality.

When I was around 12-15, I always fell for boys with an humorous and adventurous vibe. I could imagine kissing and embracing them, but I NEVER had any sexual fantasies about them(and still don't have)! The wish to simply be with them and to feel their vibes is bigger, it's like a wish for sth deeper than physical contact.

I'm also capable of having feels for boys that haven't an attractive apprearance at all.

Also, when a boy whom I secretly wanted to be with comes close to me or aks me for a date, I ALWAYS suddenly freeze and reject him without thinking further. It's like an automatic mechanism. I suddenly feel numb and not attracted to him anymore.

Lately I discovered that I'm able to feel the same sort of attraction also towards girls.

The only one I EVER felt sexually attracted to is a fictional male character, I think I'd literally eat him up if he existed irl. Since 2014 I haven't been feeling attracted to anyone except him.

I don't watch porn, I just read fanfictions and comics. But I hate seeing bare genitals.

I'm afraid of being bound to anyone, but I'm not averted from kissing and touching. I'm not sure if I ever could go further. Am I a typical asexual? Will this change one day? Could someone try to label me...?

(Oh and maybe it's helpful to mention that I was abandoned by my real father when I was 5. I really loved him and one day he silently disappeared.)

[SkyWorld]

Only you yourself could choose what to identify yourself as. You know yourself better than anyone and we can't tell you what you are or not... no really, we can't, because it's against the ToS. :lol:

There's a difference between sexual, romantic, sensual, and aesthetic attraction. The picture in the spoiler may help out.

You can also check out this. But again, we cannot label you. Just go with what makes you comfortable. Whether something may sound like you or not, you don't necessarily have to identify as such. You don't even have to identify as anything if you don't want to. It's all just what makes you comfortable.

Some asexuals watch porn and some don't. It doesn't invalidate their asexuality. Some like kissing and touching and some don't. Asexuality is about lack of sexual attraction (or lack of desire for partnered sex). Attraction is not behavior. In most terms, what someone does, does not invalidate their asexuality.

Maybe you'll still be asexual, maybe you won't. Nobody can tell the future, but I can say that in either outcome, it's perfectly okay and it doesn't invalidate with what you feel right here and right now.

[BlueSaint]

Well first as everyone else will say we won't give you a label. If you want to identify as asexual then that is up to you. A label is only superficial, it doesn't affect who you are.

Now then the only advice I can give is just calm down and just read what you can here. Personally speaking that is what I found to be quite helpful. You probably have a multitude of questions, but more often than not someone else here has asked the same thing. If you can't find it just ask. I have only been here a little while but it seems like a nice place.

Also it's fine to be confused, learning about yourself and the world is all part of life.