CJ_Kris Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Sooo, I feel sexual attraction but my brain never really gets to the I-want-to-have-sex-with-them part. I go from like aesthetic appreciation to (sometimes) sexual attraction to- sit down and tell me all your secrets, give me an emotional connection with you- sort of thing. So I'm wondering where do I fall? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 There are 6 types of attraction. They're all typically felt with romantic attraction (and why there can be confusion between attractions) but they aren't needed to make it valid. Other than romantic attraction, obviously, they can all be felt platonically, separately and in different combinations. The desire to act in a certain way can also be separate from the attraction (i.e. sexual attraction with no desire to act on it, or no sexual attraction with a desire for sex), but the two are typically together. · Sexual attraction - the impulse/urge/compulsion to have sex with a specific person; to do genital involving things to their body. · Romantic attraction - an emotion; so it doesn't translate well into words, but it can be inadequately put as soft/warm/fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation (at least in comparison to one's normality with others). Some people have a physical reaction to the feeling and others don’t (i.e. butterflies in their stomach, heart rate increase [though those are also symptoms of platonic nervousness], dreamy mindset, anxious euphoria, infatuation, etc.). · Aesthetic attraction - the pull to look at someone because of their looks and or mannerisms. It's different from recognizing good looks/what is aesthetically pleasing. · Emotional attraction - the fixation on someone because of their emotions (their optimism, stoicness, etc.), and by extent personality. I would compare it to having a favorite character or admirance. · Sensual attraction - the urge to have non-genital physical contact. Platonically displaying this above the norm qualifies as a type of queerplatonic relationship (QPR). I would compare it to how many people have the urge to act toward their pets. Though this term is typically applied to other humans. There are 3 forms of sensual attraction; platonic, romantic (which only differ by chaste kissing), and sexual (in the sense that it’s done for sexual arousal, not because it includes sex/genital contact --and it’s still under asexuality as a kink). · Platonic attraction (aka a squish; a play on the romantic word crush) - the strong urge to know or befriend someone. · And it's possible to find someone charming without romantic attraction. (look up charming's definition/synonyms for further clarification) · It's also possible to have queerplatonic feelings for someone; to emotionally feel platonic but have the characteristic(s) associated with a romantic relationship. It can be an importance/closeness stronger than the best friend norm, displaying platonic sensual attraction above the norm (only differing from romantic sensual attraction with chaste kissing, although preferring chaste kissing or no kissing does not make one’s feelings unromantic), friends with sexual benefits, romantically pleasing someone they platonically love (QP to one and romantic to the other, although it's their decision on what they call the relationship), or any combination of those. They may or may not have monogamy, live together, have kids, or look like a couple to the public. Romantics and Aromantics can have QPRs. Link to post Share on other sites
CJ_Kris Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 Soo I seem to fall into the category of those who feel sexual attraction but don't want to act on it. I more readily feel sensual attraction but I balk when my sensual feeling shift to sexual. Does this class as gray sexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Qwerty Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 sexual attraction with no desire to act on it, I don't usually get into these word games but I would have thought that "no desire" means "no sexual attraction." There's lots of reasons why a person may not act on it immediately (like being married to someone else) but the desire and attraction can still exist without the act taking place. This is why the Asexual community splits up these different types of attraction. I may think that X is pretty but I don't want to do the nasty with X, therefore I'm probably experiencing aesthetic attraction and not sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
CJ_Kris Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 sexual attraction with no desire to act on it, I don't usually get into these word games but I would have thought that "no desire" means "no sexual attraction." There's lots of reasons why a person may not act on it immediately (like being married to someone else) but the desire and attraction can still exist without the act taking place. This is why the Asexual community splits up these different types of attraction. I may think that X is pretty but I don't want to do the nasty with X, therefore I'm probably experiencing aesthetic attraction and not sexual attraction. Well the first commenter said that it is possible to feel sexual attraction and have no desire to act on that attraction soo... anyways after thinking about it the best i can come up with is that i can can get aroused by someone but i usually don't have any desire to have sex with them. I mostly just want to touch them but no sex. At least not until i know them and like them first. Thinking about having sex with someone before actually knowing them, just because I'm attracted to them - sexually, sensually, aesthetically- kinda makes me squick a little. Link to post Share on other sites
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