Females more likely to be asexual?

[Telecaster68]

I objectify men all the time.

Personally, I find that being objectified by the right person at the right time, can be glorious.

[cupid69]

I think men have a higher stereotype saying they have to be sexual. In general, society says men are the ones who can't stop thinking about sex, need sex, can't control their sex drive, etc. Women are more likely to realize they are asexual because it's not pushed at us to be sexual as often. It's an assumption, one that society pushes on people. On the same thread, I often find more women who identify as bisexual than men. It's part of the "guidlines for being a real man" our society has created.

Well, hang on a minute! That's quite a statement to make and to me, seems to be based solely on media hype and possibly personal experience. Mankind has been around for millions of years and has developed accordingly. Men in general (and by that I mean a possible 50% +) first get attracted to a female by looks. The more discerning take into account personality, persona, intelligence and other factors and really it depends on what men are after in a relationship. I cannot speak for all the different men, be they sexual or asexual, hetero or gay, but I'm sure Western society is developing far more quickly to recognise the diversity and requirements of relationships that is required today. When I was first married there were no websites where one could discuss what we are saying on this portal; there wasn't even a name for what is now termed 'asexuality' (well there was: that person was called 'frigid') so we are moving on. Many nations in the World haven't reached that stage yet and we all need to educate them. I'm on this website to learn about my issues and find out more about others so that I can move forward, with understanding and compassion for those in difficulty. I know, I've had enough disappointment in my married life and not really knowing why.

I'm sorry if I sound rather forthright in my views and I mean no disrespect. Life is too short for anger.

[KendraPM]

@apostle....I think you need to reread what I wrote. I never once said that "men are this way," I said "society has put pressure on men to act a certain way." Which would then cause many of those who don't fit the specific stereotype to just not speak up that they are "different" from the status quo. Women, not being put under the same amount/type of pressure when it comes to sexuality would find it easier to speak up about their differences in sexuality.

[Sally]

. Women, not being put under the same amount/type of pressure when it comes to sexuality would find it easier to speak up about their differences in sexuality.

Not true. Until very recently women were not supposed to talk about sexuality or speak up as sexual beings (or unisexual beings). Now women are supposed to be wildly interested in sex. The situation has switched; it hasn't gotten any easier.

[KendraPM]

@Sally, I think it's easier for women to be come out as "different" than the status quo. On one hand, you have those who still think women need to be pure and chaste, there's still very much a stigma around a girl's "first time," the concept of virginity is still primarily a female thing, and to many still seen as something a woman should hang onto until she "finds the right one" while a guy is encouraged to "lose" it as soon as possible. On the other, women's sexual freedom was hard woman and many see that women are sexual beings. Which ever side a woman identifies with, a group of people will be there to say it's "normal." Although, on the flip side, there will also be a group there to say it's not. Slut-shaming and prude-shaming are both predominant in society, and with that are those who defend each side. For males, it's far more likely for their to be prude-shaming and far less defense for males who find themselves not falling under the "sex-crazed" umbrella.

There are people on all sides of course, those who shame those who don't want sex, and those who shame those who do, and all areas inbetween. I'm speaking more on the number of voices on each side. For women it's a bit more balanced than for men. This doesn't mean women don't face pressures or issues, but knowing you have a large group of people who will defend you makes it easier for many to stand up for how the truly feel. It's much easier to be one of fifty against fifty, than to be one of ten against a ninety.

[cupid69]

Speaking from my experience, I wasn't 'media influenced' when I was younger as sexuality was not talked about at that time. I remember vividly when I was about 12 years old asking my Dad what the Christine Keeler furore was all about. Now, even at this age I was interested in girls and I come from a Catholic family so my sexuality was from within. Sexuality was non-existent in the media. Then, being a homosexual was illegal (although weirdly, being a lesbian was not). Society has come a long way in recognising differences in sexuality although I agree that it has gone too far the other way nowadays.

When I was looking for a girlfriend and eventually a partner, the first thing I looked for in a person was their personality. Sexual compatibility was fairly low down on the list as I suppose I expected everyone to be like me. How wrong I was! Sexual compatibility, whether you like having sex or not, is actually very important chemically and I suppose mentally as well.

I've lived with an asexual partner for over 30 years and have found it very difficult. Love and family keeps us together BUT that missing chemical link in my partner has caused me huge heartache. I miss the physical connection, the cuddles and touching that I see other couples doing.

So, my advice to any couples forming a relationship is this: Discuss thoroughly what you really feel about sex and whether you are a willing or forced participant. If you are feeling forced and against your natural instinct, then let your partner know as you may have years of potential misery in front of you.

[Autumn Season]

This might be a bit random, but I need mental support right now.

Please tell me it is not true that

young women are not capable of enjoying sex

and that

the only reason young women enter relationships is so that their friends will look up to them.

Please tell me this is utter BS. (Or tell me your opinion whatever it is. It will still be better than whatever is in my head right now.)

(The reason I'm posting in this thread is because thoughts like these would lead to the conclusion that asexuality for women is age-related.)

Oh, while I am at it: Please say it's wrong that

men can be completely satisfied with a relationship which is purely on a sexual level and that

they will enjoy sex no matter the circumstances and

even if their partner doesn't like it.

Sorry for being random.

[Guest]

I think I was reading some statistics about the amount of people on AVEN, and how many of them were men vs women. It showed that there are more female asexuals on AVEN, but also the percentage of females on AVEN who weren't asexual was a very similar number. So I think more females find AVEN then men.

A lot of studies seem to suggest that women, in general, use social media more than men. AVEN will always be a kind of skewed thing when we use our polls.

Edit: I just saw your post Autumn. Some women do not enjoy sex until older, when they become more confident, are willing to ask for what they want, find partners more willing to listen etc. But, plenty of young women love sex. So, no it's not true that young women are incapable of loving sex. And some people are happy with a sexual based relationship, or don't care if their partner is enjoying it, or think any sex is good sex... but not all. And it's not gendered.

[Bad Name]

Just because there are more woman who identify as asexual (Not sure if this is actually true) doesn't actually mean that it's more likely for a female to be asexual. I would say it's equal.

[jellibette]

This might be a bit random, but I need mental support right now.

Please tell me it is not true that

young women are not capable of enjoying sex

and that

the only reason young women enter relationships is so that their friends will look up to them.

Please tell me this is utter BS. (Or tell me your opinion whatever it is. It will still be better than whatever is in my head right now.)

(The reason I'm posting in this thread is because thoughts like these would lead to the conclusion that asexuality for women is age-related.)

Oh, while I am at it: Please say it's wrong that

men can be completely satisfied with a relationship which is purely on a sexual level and that

they will enjoy sex no matter the circumstances and

even if their partner doesn't like it.

Sorry for being random.

OK, while I might personally not have much experience of good relationships, I have had a lot of female friends through my life. These are young women in sexual relationships, and I've seen them be really happy with their partners, enjoying support and affection. So not just a status thing, it's companionship and closeness (which for them, includes sex).

I hope this helps?

[moonnymph]

I do not think that females are more likely to be Asexual, it is just that society views "maleness" in a certain way, men are to bed women and protect them, etc. to not be interested in sex is to be seen by society as less manly, to be less than a man, therefore males are less likely to come out as Asexual due preconceived "gender roles" even if they think they are Asexual. It is societal views that need to be changed and Asexual Awareness is key in that. Am all for open discussion and a change in views. Asexual men do exist and should be able to easily assert their Asexuality in societal discourse.

[Tarfeather]

This might be a bit random, but I need mental support right now.

Please tell me it is not true that

young women are not capable of enjoying sex

and that

the only reason young women enter relationships is so that their friends will look up to them.

Please tell me this is utter BS. (Or tell me your opinion whatever it is. It will still be better than whatever is in my head right now.)

(The reason I'm posting in this thread is because thoughts like these would lead to the conclusion that asexuality for women is age-related.)

Oh, while I am at it: Please say it's wrong that

men can be completely satisfied with a relationship which is purely on a sexual level and that

they will enjoy sex no matter the circumstances and

even if their partner doesn't like it.

Sorry for being random.

It doesn't even matter if it's true or not. The narrative that a person suggesting this to you would use, is so incredibly superficial and invalidating. Life isn't about living up to other people's expectations of how you should live. That would be sad.

[OutsideObserver]

Oh, while I am at it: Please say it's wrong that

men can be completely satisfied with a relationship which is purely on a sexual level and that

they will enjoy sex no matter the circumstances and

even if their partner doesn't like it.

Sorry for being random.

Some men can be satisfied, but it's far fewer than you'd imagine. I would say a more accurate (though not universal) statement would be "Men are more likely to pursue a relationship purely as a means to have a sexual partner". But, oxytocin affects men just a strongly as women, and most men would begin to develop romantic or intimate feelings towards someone they regularly sleep with.

Studies have shown that the sight of a woman crying causes a deep drop in Testosterone and physical desire in men. Conversely, the sight and sound of a women enjoying sex increases a male's arousal immensely. So no... men in general don't enjoy sex that is not mutually enjoyed.