Females more likely to be asexual?

[Friendshipseeker]

Are females more likely to be asexual or to think they are as compared to men? Is it harder for women to know if they're sexually attracted, or maybe they need more to get them going (like a lot of foreplay)?

I used to think I was asexual until I was nearly 30, but now I just don't know if it's because a man had never hugged me a lot before then. Maybe if I'd had a bf earlier, I would have thought I was sexual?

[Asvel]

More likely to be thinking about the kinds of things that get them to realise it, maybe possibly perhaps. More likely to seek out other people to talk about it, most definitely.

[Archon]

I agree with Asvel. I think women are more likely to talk about it so more women self-identify as ace.

I used to think I was asexual until I was nearly 30, but now I just don't know if it's because a man had never hugged me a lot before then. Maybe if I'd had a bf earlier, I would have thought I was sexual?

In general, sexuality isn't something that's activated by being in close contact with people. It's a strong feeling or urge that just happens. You probably don't need to hug someone to know if you're sexually attracted to them or not.

[Nidwin]

The society we live in "promotes" a very specific image of what a "real" human male should be and that's quite conflicting with asexuality.

[Xavy]

I could have easily lived my entire life never knowing I am asexual or even knowing that asexuality even exists.

[(A)rrogant Avian]

I think I was reading some statistics about the amount of people on AVEN, and how many of them were men vs women. It showed that there are more female asexuals on AVEN, but also the percentage of females on AVEN who weren't asexual was a very similar number. So I think more females find AVEN then men.

[The_Halfmoon]

I think there are many factors that make women more likely to identify as asexual:

1. men have to SEEK sex far more commonly. Virtually any woman who wants just sex can go and get it if she wants. This makes it easier for women to realize that they don't want sex, because it's there. Men don't have that option as often, to just have sex and see.

2. for many women, being in a sexual relationship involves being submissive. That probably pisses them off if they're not sexually attracted to a male and makes them question their sexuality at an earlier age.

3. Women are more likely to accept different sexual orientations. Men probably spend a good deal of time worried that they're gay (even straight, sexual men), so admitting to themselves that they don't have sexual desire is a step closer to facing their potential homosexuality.

4. Sex is physically painful for many asexual women. Men may not be able to perform, but they'll probably chalk that up to being nervous at first.

5. being an asexual guy is actually pretty sweet when you think about it. Surrounded by attractive young women who have the same mentality as you do. This is not a point really, it's more of a humblebrag.

[Autumn Season]

Some thoughts from a mainstream perspective:

When a woman finds other women sexy, that is considered cute and means she is in tune with her sexual self. No matter whether she masturbates to images of men or women, she is still considered heterosexual. That also means that she does not connect her fantasy with her sexual orientation.

When a man masturbates to images of women that means he's heterosexual. It's not like he is even allowed to masturbate to images of men, unless he doesn't mind or wants to be potentially seen as gay. That also means that he connects his fantasy with his sexual orientation.

That and being turned on for a man is more obvious than for a woman. Arousal indicates an allosexual orientation, right? (Wrong.)

2. for many women, being in a sexual relationship involves being submissive. That probably pisses them off if they're not sexually attracted to a male and makes them question their sexuality at an earlier age.

I don't know how you know this, but I totally agree. xD Being pushed down is so annoying. It's like... when you pet a cat, it will not mind for a while but then it will want to do its own thing. I am like this. I've got my own plans, leave me be, petty human. (^_~)

[Skycaptain]

Interesting hypothesis, which mustn't be misinterpreted as females having a lower libido, or " society expects men to want sex 24/7 and women to defend their maidenhead"

Real life experiences, based on nothing more scientific than who I meet at AVEN meet-ups, and allowing for a small sample number and all manner of other reasons why this needn't be scientifically accurate throughout the whole population, suggests that there may be more asexual bio-females who attend AVEN meets. But, by the same token, a survey of meets I have been to would suggest that over 10% of Aces identify as non-cis gendered.

Overall I don't think that there is a massive gender variation. What I do see though, probably due to greater awareness of asexuality is that more 18-30's identify as asexual than those who are older

[KendraPM]

I think men have a higher stereotype saying they have to be sexual. In general, society says men are the ones who can't stop thinking about sex, need sex, can't control their sex drive, etc. Women are more likely to realize they are asexual because it's not pushed at us to be sexual as often. It's an assumption, one that society pushes on people. On the same thread, I often find more women who identify as bisexual than men. It's part of the "guidlines for being a real man" our society has created.

[cupid69]

I think there are many factors that make women more likely to identify as asexual:

1. men have to SEEK sex far more commonly. Virtually any woman who wants just sex can go and get it if she wants. This makes it easier for women to realize that they don't want sex, because it's there. Men don't have that option as often, to just have sex and see.

2. for many women, being in a sexual relationship involves being submissive. That probably pisses them off if they're not sexually attracted to a male and makes them question their sexuality at an earlier age.

3. Women are more likely to accept different sexual orientations. Men probably spend a good deal of time worried that they're gay (even straight, sexual men), so admitting to themselves that they don't have sexual desire is a step closer to facing their potential homosexuality.

4. Sex is physically painful for many asexual women. Men may not be able to perform, but they'll probably chalk that up to being nervous at first.

5. being an asexual guy is actually pretty sweet when you think about it. Surrounded by attractive young women who have the same mentality as you do. This is not a point really, it's more of a humblebrag.

Some thoughts from a mainstream perspective:

When a woman finds other women sexy, that is considered cute and means she is in tune with her sexual self. No matter whether she masturbates to images of men or women, she is still considered heterosexual. That also means that she does not connect her fantasy with her sexual orientation.

When a man masturbates to images of women that means he's heterosexual. It's not like he is even allowed to masturbate to images of men, unless he doesn't mind or wants to be potentially seen as gay. That also means that he connects his fantasy with his sexual orientation.

That and being turned on for a man is more obvious than for a woman. Arousal indicates an allosexual orientation, right? (Wrong.)

2. for many women, being in a sexual relationship involves being submissive. That probably pisses them off if they're not sexually attracted to a male and makes them question their sexuality at an earlier age.

I don't know how you know this, but I totally agree. xD Being pushed down is so annoying. It's like... when you pet a cat, it will not mind for a while but then it will want to do its own thing. I am like this. I've got my own plans, leave me be, petty human. (^_~)

Interesting hypothesis, which mustn't be misinterpreted as females having a lower libido, or " society expects men to want sex 24/7 and women to defend their maidenhead"

Real life experiences, based on nothing more scientific than who I meet at AVEN meet-ups, and allowing for a small sample number and all manner of other reasons why this needn't be scientifically accurate throughout the whole population, suggests that there may be more asexual bio-females who attend AVEN meets. But, by the same token, a survey of meets I have been to would suggest that over 10% of Aces identify as non-cis gendered.

Overall I don't think that there is a massive gender variation. What I do see though, probably due to greater awareness of asexuality is that more 18-30's identify as asexual than those who are older

I think men have a higher stereotype saying they have to be sexual. In general, society says men are the ones who can't stop thinking about sex, need sex, can't control their sex drive, etc. Women are more likely to realize they are asexual because it's not pushed at us to be sexual as often. It's an assumption, one that society pushes on people. On the same thread, I often find more women who identify as bisexual than men. It's part of the "guidlines for being a real man" our society has created.

Reading through the paragraphs about men vs women with regard to asexuality, how does anyone know what the balance is? Has there been a survey done? It's pure speculation isn't it.

However, there may be some truth in the information, albeit randomly achieved. Men have a greater proportion of testosterone in their bodies than women. This makes them generally more competitive and aggressive. It also makes them sometime quite a bit less attractive as a partner. You only have to look at how many women are attracted to gay men to see that women see something in their nature that regular men do not have. The also do not see gay men as a threat and are therefore more likely to associate with them on a friendly basis.

There is another problem with testosterone fueled men as well. There are many more men in the world than women and some religions actually separate the two genders until they are adults. These men become very aggressive with no understanding of women and tend then to treat them like dirt. Look at the recent issues in Germany and Sweden where Middle Eastern mostly migrant men grope and sexually assault European women. I rest my case.

Being in a relationship with an asexual woman myself, I know how much the sexual issue she faced had affected her. She is a far better person now that sex is no longer on the agenda. Okay, it hasn't helped me but sometimes that's life so you just get on with it. Love is far better than sex will ever be. Sex is the culmination of a set of chemicals and doesn't last for long. Love lasts forever, one hopes.

[cupid69]

Has there been a survey done as to the percentage of asexual men to women? I mean a proper survey with over 1000 people min.

It seems that certain topics are dominated by men but is this true or are men more likely to be on this website?

[andreas1033]

I think males as asexual as me, are probably 1 in a million.

Most people have some sort of sex drive.

[Hobbes!]

Not that I know of. Closest thing would be the AVEN census.

As far as my anecdotal evidence is concerned, from, oh, five years on AVEN, I've seen exactly the opposite: women tend to dominate on AVEN. There aren't that many AVENites who identify as male, still less as cis-male. There are plenty of theories as to why this might be. Personally I suspect that it's down to the idea that culturally it is generally more acceptable for women to be choosy about sex than men (I say generally quite deliberately), and therefore women are more likely to consider asexuality as an identity to explain how they feel

[Baam]

You can have a look at this 2014 AVEN community census. I haven't seen the results for 2015 yet, not sure if they're even out. 14,210 respondents to this.

https://asexualcensus.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/2014censuspreliminaryreport.pdf

62.1% of respondents (not all asexual) were female, 13.3% were male. Leaving almost a quarter as non-binary.

[Lost247365]

http://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol23/18/23-18.pdf

The 2002 National Survey of Family Growth is the sixth cycle of surveys of family growth conducted by the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics.3 The 2002 NSFG is a nationally representative multistage survey of male and female respondents between the ages of 15 and 44. Interviews were conducted in person between January 2002 and March 2003. The sample is comprised of 12,571 Americans (7,643 women and 4,928 men). The data addressing sensitive topics, such as those dealing with sexuality, were collected using Audio Computer-Assisted Self-Interviewing (ACASI) “in which the respondent listens to the questions through headphones, reads them on the screen, or both, and enters the response directly into the computer ... and yielded more complete reporting of sensitive behaviors” (Mosher et al. 2005: 7- 8.). The survey had an overall response rate of 79% (80% for women and 78% for men). 3 Prior surveys were conducted in 1973, 1976, 1982, 1988, and 1995, and an additional survey was conducted

It is pretty much even via this paper. But I will say anecdotally that females are far more likely to get involved in the asexual community.

[Steph Ace]

AVEN, and physical Asexual Communities I have been involved with, are dominated by women with a 3:5 ratio (About 60%), followed by trans and non-bianary with nearly 20% and men hovering below 20%. As these are estimates the percentages I gave are rounded and don't add up to 100% but are close approximate based on surveys, reports and personal observation.

[Tarfeather]

Kinsey's original study certainly involved thousands of people, though not asexual.

unmarried females = 14–19%, married females = 1–3%, previously married females = 5–8%, unmarried males = 3–4%, married males = 0%, and previously married males = 1–2%.

Sounds like something is missing, but with this ratio you'd have 5:1 female:male who answsered completely asexual according to the survey. Note that this was a study determining the hetero-/homosexuality of the individuals, so "X" here is a bit more strictly defined than asexual, it's defined as not having any kind of "pull" (to avoid the attraction term) to a certain sex, whether sexual desire results from it or not.

[Snao Cone]

AVEN is an environment where non-binary genders are far more welcome and accepted. In surveys outside of this kind of context, non-binary people might select one of the two binary genders based on their assigned sex unless they have or are in the process of transitioning to another binary gender.

In the survey Lost cited, data from 2002 isn't really usable anymore. Hopefully there is or will be a more recent survey to provide data more reflective of this orientation and its makeup.

[Lost247365]

How about this one then:

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2016/images/01/06/nhsr88.pdf

Methods—Data for the 2011–2013 NSFG were collected through in-person interviews with 10,416 women and men aged 15–44 in the household population in the United States. In this report, data are shown only for 9,175 adults aged 18–44. The data presented in this report were primarily collected using audio computer-assisted self-interviewing, in which the respondent enters his or her answers into the computer without telling them to an interviewer. The overall response rate for the 2011–2013 NSFG was 72.8%.

Under Table 2.

Women who were unsure of their sexual attraction (which is the closest this survey gets to the term asexual): 1.2%

Men who were unsure of their sexual attraction: 0.7%

Women who did not report their orientation: 0.9%

Men who did not report their orientation:1.0%

Pretty similar to the other paper I linked...only this one is from 2012 and seems too be completely clueless about the existence of asexuality.

[Tarfeather]

To be honest, gender is not all that interesting. That's just a random correlation. If we talk about bio-sex, it gets more interesting as then we're basically partly talking about genetic factors in sexual orientation.

[Snao Cone]

To be honest, gender is not all that interesting. That's just a random correlation. If we talk about bio-sex, it gets more interesting as then we're basically partly talking about genetic factors in sexual orientation.

They're both worth exploring. Self-identified genders of asexual people may differ from sexual people for factors related to a/sexuality because of how strongly we culturally tie gendered behaviour to sexual pursuits.

[Tarfeather]

To be honest, gender is not all that interesting. That's just a random correlation. If we talk about bio-sex, it gets more interesting as then we're basically partly talking about genetic factors in sexual orientation.

They're both worth exploring. Self-identified genders of asexual people may differ from sexual people for factors related to a/sexuality because of how strongly we culturally tie gendered behaviour to sexual pursuits.

Well, to be honest I still don't understand the concept of gender. If it's really all about cultural expectations, it honestly doesn't make much sense to me, and I'd be in favour of abolishing gender (and thus gender expectations) altogether. However, I'm not sure that's all it is.

[Snao Cone]

Good luck with that. :lol: It's a complicated and messy concept that will take a lot of exploration, deconstruction, and major cultural change to have non-binary genders recognized, and I think abolishing it will be even harder. To declare it irrelevant while there are lingering inequalities would erase a lot of the work being done to level things out and it could (and let's be honest, it definitely would) be used to further legitimize existing disparities with the myth of meritocracy and equal starting points.

But I digress! Back to sex/gender in asexuality - masculinity is more tied up with sexual accomplishments than femininity, and femininity is tied up with purity than masculinity, so do you (everyone, not just Tarfeather) think society would be more accepting of asexuality in women?

[Tarfeather]

To declare it irrelevant while there are lingering inequalities would erase a lot of the work being done to level things out and it could (and let's be honest, it definitely would) be used to further legitimize existing disparities with the myth of meritocracy and equal starting points.

The reason I'm hesitant to declare it irrelevant is because of people like Hadley. With regards to issues in societal structures, "perceived sex" is the issue, not gender. People will be treated very differently based on what sex they're perceived as, and IMO we do need to change that.

But I digress! Back to sex/gender in asexuality - masculinity is more tied up with sexual accomplishments than femininity, and femininity is tied up with purity than masculinity, so do you (everyone, not just Tarfeather) think society would be more accepting of asexuality in women?

Yes, being a sexually unsuccessful bio-male, I can see that. Some people would like to believe that all asexual males are just people like me, who then decided to not bother with sex anymore and call themselves asexual. It's rooted in a very simplistic view where you evaluate people only by status / financial success / sexual success, rather than by their person. You might even call it objectification. ;)

[Hobbes∞]

You know, to be honest I came here expecting some kind of contest or fight to be happening

[Tetus]

But I digress! Back to sex/gender in asexuality - masculinity is more tied up with sexual accomplishments than femininity, and femininity is tied up with purity than masculinity, so do you (everyone, not just Tarfeather) think society would be more accepting of asexuality in women?

Not...really.

The concept of purity is fraught with the implication of temptation: what makes purity so commendable is the idea that you're resisting these sinful urges. Denying the existence of the urge is kind of cheating the system. Kate Beaton did a great bit about virgin martyrs that ties into this:

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=377

[Snao Cone]

To declare it irrelevant while there are lingering inequalities would erase a lot of the work being done to level things out and it could (and let's be honest, it definitely would) be used to further legitimize existing disparities with the myth of meritocracy and equal starting points.

The reason I'm hesitant to declare it irrelevant is because of people like Hadley. With regards to issues in societal structures, "perceived sex" is the issue, not gender. People will be treated very differently based on what sex they're perceived as, and IMO we do need to change that.

Perceived sex is a part of gender, or at least a part of gender issues. "Gender" can mean multiple things, and the expectations applied based on assigned or perceived sex is a gender issue. We both agree there are problems that need to be addressed, but we're using different words.

But I digress! Back to sex/gender in asexuality - masculinity is more tied up with sexual accomplishments than femininity, and femininity is tied up with purity than masculinity, so do you (everyone, not just Tarfeather) think society would be more accepting of asexuality in women?

Yes, being a sexually unsuccessful bio-male, I can see that. Some people would like to believe that all asexual males are just people like me, who then decided to not bother with sex anymore and call themselves asexual. It's rooted in a very simplistic view where you evaluate people only by status / financial success / sexual success, rather than by their person. You might even call it objectification. ;)

I agree that men shouldn't have their worth decided by expectations of masculinity (strength, wealth, sexual prowess). I'm not sure if I agree with the wink, though

[Tarfeather]

The wink was a kind of "Incoming argument that men can not be objectified". :>

[Snao Cone]

I objectify men all the time. :P With respect, of course...usually.

But on average it's less pervasive with less of an impact on opportunities or quality of life. On average. I don't know if that ties into asexuality, like maybe women/AFAB people have to use the label as a guard. That might be a stretch and even if it's true for some people it wouldn't account for as big of a gap as there is between male and female asexuals.