Jump to content

Incredible Agender Moments


SkyWorld

Recommended Posts

You have "Incredible Ace Moments", you have "Incredible Aromantic Moments". Now, ladies and gentlemen, everyone in-between and outside the gender binary, I give you, "Incredible Agender Moments" (of course other genders are welcome ;) ). - On a side note, unless something like this already exists, well, awww. :( I did a search though and I didn't see anything. :lol:

So... I guess I'll start. xD Hmm... now that I think about it, this is kind of both an aromantic and agender moment...

We did a short scene for Acting class and the assignment was an Open Scene where you are given a script, but you create the actual scene, plot, and characters, etc. Well, for me and my partner, our scene was that one character shows her friend her engagement ring. She is surprised by her friend's reaction and she wasn't expecting them to be so upset. The friend is upset because with her friend getting engaged, it would be the beginning of the end to their friendship. I was the friend that got upset and my partner was the engaged character.

When we performed our scene in front of the class, even the teacher thought that apparently I was upset that my friend is engaged because I think of her as "more than a friend" not because the end of our friendship. So..... when we performed our scene again for improvement, in the intro itself, I sneaked in a "no romo". Only my partner had gotten it and she cracked up! Nobody else laughed. :( Probably because they were confused.

Anyways, on to the actual agender moment, at the end of everyone's scene's, the class would share their constructive criticism with each other. One of my classmates asked me, "Yeah, was your character a boy or a girl, because I couldn't really tell." And I just stood there awkwardly and spoke slowly like, "Uhh.... uhh... a person...?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

Great thread idea! : ) I'm not agender, but perhaps some neutrandrogyne moments can be sneaked in? :P I don't have any right now, but I wanted to say that was really funny what happened with your scene! I would've laughed at the "no romo" part. Those other people just didn't get it.*shakes head* And the classmate asking if your chara was a boy or girl...I like your answer. Perfect!! THEY ARE A PERSON. DUH.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Great thread idea! : ) I'm not agender, but perhaps some neutrandrogyne moments can be sneaked in? :P I don't have any right now, but I wanted to say that was really funny what happened with your scene! I would've laughed at the "no romo" part. Those other people just didn't get it.*shakes head* And the classmate asking if your chara was a boy or girl...I like your answer. Perfect!! THEY ARE A PERSON. DUH.

Well, I mentioned in the OP that other genders of welcome, of course. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

When you're intersex (but your gender identity is agender) and your parents and family members think that agenderism means that you are genderfluid or half guy/half girl because of my hormones or something and/or my gender presentation. #awkwardagendermoments

The second instance would be when even people in the transgender community find it hard to conceptualize agenderism (since they are the binary trans people, such as MtF, AFAB, etc.) and you have to pull up all sorts of internet videos, lecture for a long period of time on three separate days (I don't really have the time to lecture all at once when I'm at school)

The third would be having to deal with family members who think that you're a sinful abomination because of your gender identity. This, of course, isn't an incredible agender moment, I just think it's incredible that people hate what they can't understand.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not entirely sure if I posted this in agender problems or asexual problems, or anywhere at all so I hope this isn't a repeat.

In middle school, the music groups got to go to Disneyland every year. There's one ride (is it the Matterhorn?) where you have to sit in the seats one behind the other and they seat two people together. So during 7th grade, I had to sit in between this one guy's legs. The two 6th graders in my class (we were a more advanced class so having 6th graders was uncommon) were waiting for the ride too so they had to joke at us and shout out "the perfect couple!" I felt very uncomfortable during that ride. In 8th grade, I ended up going on the ride with a friend with my friend in between my legs (because I was miraculously bigger than someone finally). After those incidents I realized that I did not like being on either position, having someone or being in between my legs. Although the latter incident made me feel more masculine..

I may probably get some good moments when I start taking my second acting class. :) I can probably say that I'm not comfortable in female roles and get people to call me by my preferred name.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess for me just trying to figure out what exactly my gender identity was and being like "but what does gender FEEL like? I have no idea. Am I supposed to feel something here?" Then I thought about it a little more and was like "wait a moment, there's a gender for that." And here I am.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Not sure if this counts as an Agender moment? But, I'm going to go with it. Dressing up for an anime con as a male character and going to school (well, homeschool co-op). Everyone was like, "Why are you dressed up as a boy?". I said "Because he's awesome". To which the response I got was "But you're a girl". I didn't really know how to answer that because it didn't even cross my mind that the difference between the sex I was biologically and the sex of the character I was portraying was something I should put weight on. I also quickly found I didn't care.

Link to post
Share on other sites

oh, (not sure if I posted this somewhere else, but whatever) last year a friend of mine held a speech in class about some book, and our teacher then spent the whole rest of the school period talking about the role of women in his book. later in the break between classes two friends and I where joking about how our teacher seems to really like talking about "the role of women" after which:

(paraphrased and translated)

friend 1: and this brings us to the topic of, what is. XYZs actual gender

friend 2: yes, what is your gender XYZ?

me: :lol: I dont care...

friend 1+2: laughs

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just thought of another one. I spent the better part of my teen years dressing in Hot Topic clothes because 80% of their clothing was labeled "unisex" and I thought that was the best thing ever. ...Then every time I went there my mom made me try on a dress or one of the other designated female pieces of clothing; I was so uncomfortable.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This actually happened only a couple of weeks ago: in my Gender and Sexuality class the teacher suggested a gender swap day. I started to think about how I'd dress up as a boy and how I would change my behaviour to be more 'boyish' and then I realized I'd just dress and act as I usually do. Then I got really confused as to what the hell is going on.

I don't even know if this feeling is described by agender ...

Link to post
Share on other sites

So in class, we were coming up with names of what we resemble more of. So as we were exchanging ideas (something like, "You look like a Jordan", etc.), one person said, "I look like a person." I clapped and waved my hands and shouted, "YES! EXACTLY! THANK YOU!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

This actually happened only a couple of weeks ago: in my Gender and Sexuality class the teacher suggested a gender swap day. I started to think about how I'd dress up as a boy and how I would change my behaviour to be more 'boyish' and then I realized I'd just dress and act as I usually do. Then I got really confused as to what the hell is going on.

I don't even know if this feeling is described by agender ...

It very well might be. It could also be neutrois, or any other non-binary gender, or perhaps you're a woman but not very feminine? It could really be anything, depends mostly on what gender you yourself feel, not how you dress or act ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

My mum's friend had 5 sons and was pregnant, so everyone around me was having a conversation about what gender they thought the baby would be. I said "what's the big deal, it isn't that much different?". My mum's friend said "It is a very, very big deal and makes a big difference". I was very confused.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When it came time to graduate from high school and I was trying to figure out what to wear under my gown I had a pretty big agender moment. I had a nice outfit all picked out and I was gonna look awesome. A nice button-down shirt and some dress pants. Like something a guy would wear to a semi-formal event. It was great. Then my mom oh so helpfully pointed out that the dress code said girls had to wear dresses. I said, "So? What's your point?" and then it dawned on me... I am a girl (At least in everyone else's eyes) and I had to wear a dress. I actually forgot for a brief moment that I was biologically a female. I was so caught up in picking out clothes that I didn't even take gender into consideration.

I was so pissed that I went on a rant to my mom about the dress code being sexist. It ruined all my freaking plans! So yeah, I ended up with a stupid dress but I didn't wear it happily <_<

Link to post
Share on other sites

The closest to a specific moment [non-incredible though it may be] is probably the following;

For those of you who know the Mr Men & Little Miss series, I never considered them gendered in any way, despite their names [and as far as I can tell, they aren't]. That became particularly awkward when I found out that 'chatterbox' was a name used for both a Mr and a Ms [who even look similar] and I simply didn't get the reason for that, considering it a waste of space of a perfect opportunity to create a chracter with a different attribute. It was explained to me by my grandparents that, even though it was the same idea [chatterbox], misters and misses portray this trait somehow uniquely. To this day I don't get it. What did change then, however, is that I noticed the many ways in which the Little Miss are "female" [most notably through hair and shoes] as opposed to the "males" [who tend to be featureless, aside from hats] and it dawned on me that this was a difference considered to be manifest in irrelevant cosmetic details that were still somehow relevant enough to warrant the splitting of the series into Mr and Ms.

Not really incredible and unspecific moments or events include myself getting annoyed very easily when people use gendered pronouns on things that either don't have a gender or whose gender is unknown. A common example is God being a "him", but another would be regarding animals and pets, especially those who don't display obvious gendered traits; many I know automatically, seemingly without thinking, say something like "aw, she's [some random dog] cute" or "make sure he [another random dog] doesn't bite you".

I also dislike the use of gendered words as pronouns in general, because why should a persons gender be the first and often only thing I learn about them? I managed to convince myself that the male form also counts as 'neutral' as opposed to just 'male' [speaking of German here, and the historic sexism of that notwithstanding] - not 'male=neutral' but 'male grammar=neutral grammar', with female being 'male grammar + suffix'. As such, I always read male pronouns and the like as strictly neutral unless obviously referring to a person in relation to their gender [which is rarer than you might think]. This makes me stumble over my own thoughts every. single. time. I read a statement or an example that uses an explicitly female person for inclusivity [due to the way German nouns for profession are gendered, it would sound like "this is information that wouldn't necessarily be disclosed to a female doctor" in English, even though the info of 'female' is unnecessary in every way]. Because the suffix is undeniable, I can't reinterpret it to the neutral form, and am forced to acknowledge that people obviously find gender to be a thing of major importance, so much so that it is enforced in syntax as opposed to restricted [which is the route I would go].

This actually happened only a couple of weeks ago: in my Gender and Sexuality class the teacher suggested a gender swap day. I started to think about how I'd dress up as a boy and how I would change my behaviour to be more 'boyish' and then I realized I'd just dress and act as I usually do. Then I got really confused as to what the hell is going on.

I don't even know if this feeling is described by agender ...

I would have been at a complete loss as well. It seems rather surprising, shocking even, that such an event could happen and be considered fun or fruitful. It implies that people not only assume gender to be [largely] manifest in behaviour [somehow], but also that people generally understand what kind of behaviour it is while at the same time being technically able to defy these 'limitations' they put onto themselves at will.

This degree of an apparently intuitive understanding of a part of reality [in an inclusive setting, too] is what makes me feel alienated most, more so than my asexuality by a long shot.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My mum's friend had 5 sons and was pregnant, so everyone around me was having a conversation about what gender they thought the baby would be. I said "what's the big deal, it isn't that much different?". My mum's friend said "It is a very, very big deal and makes a big difference". I was very confused.

I had a very similar conversation with a friend of mine who is crazy about kids lately. She asked me what gender of children I would prefer and I said something like "No preference, I would like to have just cool kids, gender doesn't matter". And she tried to convince me that it does make a huge difference. She has an ongoing fantasy of having a son. Hm. I prefer to do the "boyish things" myself, and have a boyfriend instead of a son. Not to impose my wants on my child, who will be a human being separate from me. Shrug.

And she makes such a big deal of her being a woman (she behaves excessively feminine imo). I understand that procreation and such, but why bother so much?

Link to post
Share on other sites
BR2925 (Sunfish)

(This one depends on the person)When your Body Dysphoria is really bad but it has nothing to do with your biological sex because you don't really care.

Link to post
Share on other sites

*walks into restroom for gender A*

Ew, that is disgusting.

*walks out of restroom for gender A, sighing exasperatedly*

*walks into restroom for gender B*

Link to post
Share on other sites

Realising you're the only female with a group of guys only after some time (10 minutes?) of this situation happening, becuase you don't pay attention to such details ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I forget what my bio-sex is...

Also, it gets really annoying in class with "boys vs. girls" and... le sigh. -_-

Link to post
Share on other sites
DannyFenton123

I'm not agender, but at the same time I don't exactly care if what I wear or say is 'feminine' or anything. God, I'm confusing xD

Nevertheless, this is a really cool thread and I feel like I relate to this a little bit :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

While I'm not agender, I thought this story might fit.

The other day at work a customer had ordered an item for an event and requested that it say "Men and Women Day" on it. I took a look at it and said, "Men and women? So no agender or gender fluid people can come?" My coworkers just looked at me with very odd expressions.

Link to post
Share on other sites
MiniChelonia

Not sure if this counts

whenever in a movie or something a character makes a threat to "...every man, woman, and child" I like to think that adults outside the gender binary are safe from it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

Not sure if this counts

whenever in a movie or something a character makes a threat to "...every man, woman, and child" I like to think that adults outside the gender binary are safe from it.

*goes to some event*

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls!

Thoughts: Oh, I'm not really welcomed, am I?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314

Somebody actually had to explain to me, several days after I moved into my dorm, that the floor I was on was "all female" (oops). I legitimately hadn't noticed.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This "all female" concept sucks :( It has to protect people from sexual attraction all over, but what if someone is gay or bi? I mean, it doesn't really work, a girl can give another girl a quite bad boob stare too (or an equivalebt for guys)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was sitting on the couch at a family gathering, watching TV with my little cousin.

He didn't really recognize me, since he's quite young and it had been two years since I'd last seen him.

All of a sudden, he points at me and asks his my uncle if I'm "a boy or a girl."

I pretended to get somewhat offended, but on the inside I was like, giving him a mental thumbs up.

like "yes. you just made my day, kid"

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

This "all female" concept sucks :( It has to protect people from sexual attraction all over, but what if someone is gay or bi? I mean, it doesn't really work, a girl can give another girl a quite bad boob stare too (or an equivalebt for guys)

I'm not sure why, but I thought I was supposed to look at them, whether I had an attraction to them or not? I had a conversation for an hour with a friend wearing revealing clothing so it took a bit to not keep staring.

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Cool tie, it would look great with my pumps"

Win! +1

I actually quite like ties. I just bought myself a new one last weekend. I'm excited, it's a skinny one, white with black patterns on it. The lady selling it to me asked if it was for me when I said it would go perfectly with a shirt I already own, and I said yes with a big smile before remembering that most AFABs buying ties were probably doing so for a boyfriend or male friend :P But to her credit, she smiled as wide as I was and said it would go with my complexion :D

Sometimes I forget what my bio-sex is...

Also, it gets really annoying in class with "boys vs. girls" and... le sigh. -_-

heh... oops. I usually remember "female", but only by rote, and sometimes when I'm tired I forget that typically, "female" means "woman" to most people :P

Not sure if this counts

whenever in a movie or something a character makes a threat to "...every man, woman, and child" I like to think that adults outside the gender binary are safe from it.

It's like when Eowyn killed the Nazgul in Lord of the Rings! "No man may kill one" "I AM NO MAN!"

And now all non-binaries are the heros of everything.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...