Kissing with tongue -- Why?

[Frigid Pink]

I don't get why i like it, it does seem pretty gross with the exchanging of spit and so violating but i guess i enjoy it because after the emotional bond became very strong i look more at the intimacy than the act.

I didn't enjoy my first kiss and I also didn't desire to kiss the person that shared my first kiss. It was a closed mouth kiss, by the way, and it was done out of obligation. It wasn't until I actually desired to kiss someone and then kissed them that I really enjoyed the kiss. If I don't desire to kiss someone, then it's "meh" and I either feel indifferent or gross about it. Also, for me, romantic feelings for someone are historically associated with my desire to kiss that person. Same goes for cuddling and other physically intimate activities.

I wonder if those positive feelings while kissing can be triggered by... food for example. Whatever touches the inside of the mouth and the lips, can theoretically also feel good or can it not? Is it an emotion that only people can trigger? Sorry, I'm just a bit confused, since... For me, kissing and holding slippery food in my mouth doesn't actually feel any different (and none of them is good). ^^° Oops, hopefully that was not TMI.

It's actually not about the sensation at all for me. I don't get anything physically out of kissing someone. It's more of a way for me to express my romantic feelings and affection for them and a way to feel close to them. I kiss my cat (not on the mouth!) and it doesn't feel good to me (physically or sensation-wise), however, I still do it and like to do it because it's my non-verbal way of saying "I love you so much!" It's the same reason I hug my cat up close sometimes, although my cat's fur does feel really nice. :D

[Koriander]

Yeah! I wonder so too! I'm heteromantic but I felt NOTHING when my ex had her tongue inside me and mine inside of hers... I don't even get it, lol. is it so sexual? I felt nothing... It was like licking someone's inside of a mouth hahaha, no pleasure gained.

[Autumn Season]

It's actually not about the sensation at all for me. I don't get anything physically out of kissing someone. It's more of a way for me to express my romantic feelings and affection for them and a way to feel close to them. I kiss my cat (not on the mouth!) and it doesn't feel good to me (physically or sensation-wise(, however, I still do it and like to do it because it's my non-verbal way of saying "I love you so much!" It's the same reason I hug my cat up close sometimes, although my cat's fur does feel really nice. :D

In a book about cats I actually read that one can establish trust by kissing the cat on the mouth. I know it sounds odd, but... That's what it said.

[Frigid Pink]

In a book about cats I actually read that one can establish trust by kissing the cat on the mouth. I know it sounds odd, but... That's what it said.

Oh, yuck! I love my cat, however, that's a bit much for me. Maybe an eskimo kiss counts. I've done that before.

[Autumn Season]

In a book about cats I actually read that one can establish trust by kissing the cat on the mouth. I know it sounds odd, but... That's what it said.

Oh, yuck! I love my cat, however, that's a bit much for me. Maybe an eskimo kiss counts. I've done that before.

(According to the book) it does. ^^

[Kuromi Akumura]

I don't get why i like it, it does seem pretty gross with the exchanging of spit and so violating but i guess i enjoy it because after the emotional bond became very strong i look more at the intimacy than the act.

I didn't enjoy my first kiss and I also didn't desire to kiss the person that shared my first kiss. It was a closed mouth kiss, by the way, and it was done out of obligation. It wasn't until I actually desired to kiss someone and then kissed them that I really enjoyed the kiss. If I don't desire to kiss someone, then it's "meh" and I either feel indifferent or gross about it. Also, for me, romantic feelings for someone are historically associated with my desire to kiss that person. Same goes for cuddling and other physically intimate activities.

I wonder if those positive feelings while kissing can be triggered by... food for example. Whatever touches the inside of the mouth and the lips, can theoretically also feel good or can it not? Is it an emotion that only people can trigger? Sorry, I'm just a bit confused, since... For me, kissing and holding slippery food in my mouth doesn't actually feel any different (and none of them is good). ^^° Oops, hopefully that was not TMI.

It's actually not about the sensation at all for me. I don't get anything physically out of kissing someone. It's more of a way for me to express my romantic feelings and affection for them and a way to feel close to them. I kiss my cat (not on the mouth!) and it doesn't feel good to me (physically or sensation-wise(, however, I still do it and like to do it because it's my non-verbal way of saying "I love you so much!" It's the same reason I hug my cat up close sometimes, although my cat's fur does feel really nice. :D

I agree I have to be emotionally invested in the person and want to do so to enjoy kissing them :) My first kiss which was with my current partner was a small closed mouth kiss but i did it out of love.

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Supposedly, the reason humans kiss is to "taste" their partner as a way to determine genetic compatability. In other words, it's a way for you to subconsciously decide if the person you're kissing is a good person to have sex with (so it makes sense that many asexuals don't care about/dislike kissing). A kiss involving tongue offers a better taste of the person.

Of course, this is from a completely biological viewpoint. I know that there are other factors, but this is a good one to keep in mind.

[Araminta]

I don't mind kissing that way, but I try to avoid it because I hate it when it lasts more than a few seconds. I prefer closed-mouth kissing.

[Marlenabunny]

I have never done it and I don't want to... It looks way too sexual for me. I hate looking at it on the internet.

[roflysst]

I quite enjoy kissing with a very small amount of tongue. I like the gentle intimacy of it.

I've had some seriously gross kisses though.

Someone tried to lick the roof of my mouth once, I almost threw up & couldn't even look at them without feeling sick anymore lol.

[Autumn Season]

I've also heard this one: "Kissing is an act for trying to devour your partner". Not sure how much truth there is. ^^ Maybe it's just another version of "becoming one".

[Telecaster68]

"Kissing is an act for trying to devour your partner".

Amongst other things, and it's sort of the 'starter' on the menu of becoming one. Mutual devouring is hot.

[0000011113333]

for me personally it feels pretty disgusting. i don't mind kissing without tongue though

[roflysst]

I've also heard this one: "Kissing is an act for trying to devour your partner". Not sure how much truth there is. ^^ Maybe it's just another version of "becoming one".

Reminds me of an episode of Supernatural where these couples on valentines day keep getting carried away and eating each other

[Autumn Season]

I've also heard this one: "Kissing is an act for trying to devour your partner". Not sure how much truth there is. ^^ Maybe it's just another version of "becoming one".

Reminds me of an episode of Supernatural where these couples on valentines day keep getting carried away and eating each other

Reminds me of couples on the streets kissing. My friend once said "Too bad, it would be nice if we had what they have!" and me: "Good for you, but I don't need any of this!".

[Desmister]

I had a tongue forcibly shoved into my mouth one time in my life and that was all it took to make me realize that I never wanted that ever again. Just... Ew. I like kissing but adding tongue into the equation is where I draw the line

[Autumn Season]

Hope, this is not too off-topic, but I love this gif. The cat is me in all of my former relationships. But while I always thought it was fine for cats to dislike kissing, I thought i needed to learn to like it. Looking back, I should have just told my partners that I don't like kissing. (I didn't know it yet though.)

[Perissodactyla]

Tongue-kissing inside the ear is also disgustingly awesome. :P

@Autumn Season: at first, I thought the lady was going to try tongue-kissing the kitty! lol

[Frigid Pink]

I quite enjoy kissing with a very small amount of tongue. I like the gentle intimacy of it.

I've had some seriously gross kisses though.

Someone tried to lick the roof of my mouth once, I almost threw up & couldn't even look at them without feeling sick anymore lol.

Yeah, I've had unpleasant kisses- one person licked my teeth and I didn't like that at all.

[El-not-so-ace]

I'm learning so much from this thread... Haha :P

I'm not sure if I should be intrigued or scared... Or both.

[Nidwin]

Someone tried to lick the roof of my mouth once, I almost threw up & couldn't even look at them without feeling sick anymore lol.

This should never be done or tried without agreeing on it. What you call the roof of your mouth is extremelily sensitive and can cause a lot of pain, burning sensation that can last for days, if wrongly stimulated for some folks.

I don't enjoy french kisses as it's already too gross and too agressive for me. Above that I've a dry mouth and higly sensitive dry lips, wrongly kissed can cause me a lot of pain. Soft dry kisses on my lips/cheeks or just a soft touch of lips against lips on the other hand get me immediately sensually stimulated and get my lips or cheeks "electrified".

It's a very good question and fun to see how different we all are.

[sparklingstars]

I've always hated kissing with tongue. Not that I've kissed that many guys, but the very few that I HAVE kissed all tried to use their tongues and i had to ask them to stop.

[CreativeUsername]

I do not like tongue kissing. I found it gross and messy. When tongue kissing, I used to try to think about other things to take my mind off how dirty it felt. Sometimes I'd even play games in my head to try to think of things that might be better than tongue kissing. Like smooching a pig's butt or licking a penny from the ground. Yeah, I hate kissing with tongue. *shiver*

[3seven6]

I like kissing, closed and open mouthed, but keep the tongue away from me, I hate the sensation and feel like someone's trying to choke me.

[Barking Sands]

I think Miss Anne Thrope hit the nail on the head. Couples kiss to taste each other for genetic compatibility. If you're heard the expression "that was like kissing my brother/sister," it comes from the sensation that your genes are incompatible for successful mating.

As to the use of tongue, it combines taste with what should be a gentle massage of the tongue and contact with the lips, and when done correctly should increase the level of sexual stimulation in partners. Kisses can also be used as a form of nonverbal communication, and lips combined with tongue can speak volumes without words. I really, really like kissing; I like it more than I like any other sex acts I've experienced including phalacio, but to each their own and I've met many people who dislike kissing even without tongue.

[Telecaster68]

Hmmmm. I just did a bit of research on that, and I couldn't find anything to back it up. The closest is a bunch of stories derived from this press release on some research done at Oxford Uni, about this paper which says nothing of the sort about taste, except in a metaphorical way.

It contains the paragraph: "It has been suggested previously that kissing may allow people to subconsciously assess a potential partner through taste or smell, picking up on biological cues for compatibility, genetic fitness or general health benefits.

... but the actual research didn't appear to address that at all. Didn't stop the reporting suggesting some kind of vague 'genetic tasting' was going on though. Actually, the research was about how kissing style affects partner choice, and later affirm a longer relationship.

Bad reporting, in other words. Unless there's something out there I missed.

[Barking Sands]

@Telecaster68: I didn't actually do any research at all on the subject personally. I was just reminded of this video (don't know how to link a video properly and can't paste on these forums, so here's the URL):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5DS5omLI54

(Cracked "6 Scientific Reasons You're In Love") -- probably a good video for this forum's overall tone and subject matter.

[Meudwen]

I haven't been kissed in like, eight years, and I kind of miss it.

Come to think of it though, my reaction within just one kiss varied wildly between "This feels nice" to "This is weird and I might throw up" so I'm actually not sure. Put an unbroken egg yolk in your mouth and that's probably the same experience - weirdly nice feel but kind of vomit-inducing. Come to think of it, maybe that's why people want to do the egg thing and I'm like, that sounds terrible...

The sensation can be nice at times, but most of the time I kept thinking "Where do I put my hands? When will this stop?" I always just chalked it up to being inexperienced.

[Telecaster68]

Could be. Or maybe your partner wasn't a very good kisser.... I don't mean that in a 'you'll love sex with the right person' kind of way, just that some people aren't very good kissers...

[borealmist]

In a book about cats I actually read that one can establish trust by kissing the cat on the mouth. I know it sounds odd, but... That's what it said.

Oh, yuck! I love my cat, however, that's a bit much for me. Maybe an eskimo kiss counts. I've done that before.

Hmm, one of my cats has gotten into the habit of sniffing my lips, which sort of looks like kissing, but I think it's more of a 'heeey, whatcha eating, can I have some, don't mind that I just sniffed the other cat in the butt with this nose. And oh, by the way, are your lips tasty if I tear them off your face and dip them in jelly? Just asking... for a friend...' thing.

It contains the paragraph: "It has been suggested previously that kissing may allow people to subconsciously assess a potential partner through taste or smell, picking up on biological cues for compatibility, genetic fitness or general health benefits.

Well, there could be some immune system conditioning going on, as the oral mucosa contains tolerogenic dentritic cells that modify immune reactions, which is used in sublingual immunotherapy to reduce allergies. Maybe it could make the female immune system less likely to react to a foetus during pregnancy.

I'm not particularly fond of a lot of tongue myself. I find lips much more sensitive and pleasant. And one of my cats tells me they taste great with jelly.