Dakow Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 What is the appeal to touching/licking tongues while kissing? My (demi)sexual boyfriend really loves it, he says it's romantic. I don't mind it and it doesn't gross me out or anything, so I go along because he likes it so much, but I can't say it really does much for me. I assume it's a pleasant sensual experience, at least for some people (myself not included, apparently). I've noticed a lot of asexuals don't seem keen on it, so I wonder if it has to do with asexuality. But then again, a lot of asexuals are aromantic too, and that could easily have more to do with it. Anyone have any relevant experience/knowledge about this? Link to post Share on other sites
QueenWS Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 My ex boyfriend loved kissing with tongue (hence he's an ex duh) He french kissed me several times and I was absolutely disgusted just with anything that involves tongue but he did that most of the time. I feel you... Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It feels nice, and it because it's penetrative, it's very intimate, almost like a preview of penetrative sex. Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It's intimate and awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Many aces like kissing with tongue too. I don't feel anything special when kissing, but I guess it feels nice for others. :/ One of my friends once told me about a perfect date she had: "... and then we had this amazing kiss!". Which proved to me that kissing can really feel good for some people. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyErzsebet Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I prefer kissing without tongue most of the time but its nice once in a while. I don't really know why, it just kinda is for me? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It's intimate and awesome. ...For some people. But those people do enjoy it, so yeah. That's why they do it. It's like asking a jazz player why they play jazz, while you don't like jazz :P Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I think it's pretty great. It just makes me feel all dizzy and "wow" and stuff. Kinda awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Kalyke Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It's not for me. No offence. Link to post Share on other sites
IAmNoBird Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It feels nice, and it because it's penetrative, it's very intimate, almost like a preview of penetrative sex. Do sexual people really view French kissing that way? I just enjoy it because I think it's fun and it feels good. That's just so... blatantly sexual? I don't know why this surprises me so much, considering the forum we're on, but kissing has never been sexual to me so that comparison kind of comes out of left field. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Do sexual people really view French kissing that way? This one does and for me it's very, very sexy, incredibly arousing. I suspect most don't analyse it much, but most would say it's really intimate and the penetrative thing is my theory on why. They say many prostitutes don't kiss, although obviously there's many things they will do. Link to post Share on other sites
Dakow Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 Do sexual people really view French kissing that way? This one does and for me it's very, very sexy, incredibly arousing. I suspect most don't analyse it much, but most would say it's really intimate and the penetrative thing is my theory on why. They say many prostitutes don't kiss, although obviously there's many things they will do. If it was a purely sexual thing then I don't see why prostitutes wouldn't do it... Maybe they don't because they're not romantically attracted to the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 The tongue has nerve endings in it, and they may be more or less sensitive for any individual. Possibly sensitivity may be influenced by orientation, although I don't see how that could be. It never did anything for me, except for making me nervous that my sexuals, since they really liked it, would then want to go on to have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
AshenPhoenix Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Usually it feels more intimate, the party who likes it obviously instinctively likes it. And, to be a bit blunt, sometimes somebody saying they want a taste of you is a bit literal, some people might like the taste :P Other than that it generally just feels good going tongue on tongue for some people. Not that much different from the concept of why some people enjoy sex and some doin't Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 "If it was a purely sexual thing then I don't see why prostitutes wouldn't do it... Maybe they don't because they're not romantically attracted to the person." Because they have to detach from sex, and kissing is harder to detach from than stuff involving genitals; being face to face, eye to eye, is intimate in a many genital ACTS aren't. I suspect it's also a way of keeping back something for themselves, a part of their intimate selves not for sale. And sexual acts are almost never purely sexual for sexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I prefer closed mouth kisses and open mouth kisses without tongue, however, occasionally, I like open mouth kisses with tongue (in small doses) just because I can. Not really sure how to explain what I mean by that. Link to post Share on other sites
Sapphire Rose Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I must say that I hated kissing with the tongue. It felt so weird to me and did not make me feel good or give me butterflies..... then again, kissing really didn't either so there's that. When I was with my ex gf, she would kiss me all over and it never felt anything more to me then wet splotches on my skin. It was kinda gross to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Robin L Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I wonder if it's one of those things that you have to actually try in order to understand. If you think about it, sex also involves lots of intimate touching and fluids... Link to post Share on other sites
skychevalier Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 To me, it makes no more sense then when people mash their genitals together. Appearently its fun? I think it's like having a slug in my mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
affi Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I really enjoy closed-mouth kissing, on cheeks or lips or almost anywhere else, but anything with the tongue is pretty gross. Unless the person literally just brushed their teeth, I can't help thinking I'm tasting bits of whatever they ate last...... Occasionally it'll give me a bit of involuntary tingly feeling for a second, but then my rational brain takes over and I'm just like nope. Link to post Share on other sites
MerePeasant Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 ^ Haha. Tongues seems to be the thing to do but certainly I haven't felt much from doing so (nor too much from 'normal' kissing really). It seems rather odd and awkward, and having that thought while you're trying to kiss doesn't exactly help matters. XD Link to post Share on other sites
SomethingOrAnother Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I've never quite understood why people like it so much either. Frankly, I'm not a fan of having someone else's tongue in my mouth. One is enough, thanks. Closed-mouth is cool though Link to post Share on other sites
Kuromi Akumura Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I don't get why i like it, it does seem pretty gross with the exchanging of spit and so violating but i guess i enjoy it because after the emotional bond became very strong i look more at the intimacy than the act. I guess it is enjoyable because you can feel every sensitive spot int he mouth, and the tongue is very flexible and mobile, with little bumps on it, if that helps answer the question? Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I wonder if those positive feelings while kissing can be triggered by... food for example. Whatever touches the inside of the mouth and the lips, can theoretically also feel good or can it not? Is it an emotion that only people can trigger? Sorry, I'm just a bit confused, since... For me, kissing and holding slippery food in my mouth doesn't actually feel any different (and none of them is good). ^^° Oops, hopefully that was not TMI. Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I just love the title of this thread. Same question I have often asked myself :) Link to post Share on other sites
Aching Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I suppose the reason for me is that it feels amazing. Honestly, I've started realizing lately that I think I miss kissing even more than sex. People talk about butterflies or fireworks, and I totally get that. I have no doubt that there is a whole mess of great hormonal stuff going on in me when I kiss someone. My ace fiancee and I have been working on communicating and getting to somewhere that can work for us both, but man, do I miss kissing. It's been several years since we've really kissed, and I can still just think about a kiss, and just disappear for a minute. (I always need to remember to NEVER think about kissing while driving.) I still remember my ridiculous first kiss. While it was technically terrible, it is one of the most intensely amazing experiences ever, and I can pretty much recall everything involved in it. So short answer to why I like kissing with tongue is because it feels better than anything ever... to me. This was certainly an interesting realization when it struck me that my fiancee clearly doesn't get this feeling, or intense flood of all kinds of feelings, where the rest of the world just disappears, and there's only us kissing. I just had to ask her, "So for you, kissing is really just pushing faces together?" And I pretty much got a yes. So I get why that wouldn't hold appeal, minus all the things that happen for me when I do it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaminSweets Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I suppose it's intimate and sensual. That, and the fact that the tongue is supposed to be sensitive to touch/taste(whether it be to food or what not). I wouldn't worry about it to much there's even sexuals that don't like kissing with tongue. It's purely a matter of opinion. The appeal of kissing with tongue -an emotional/romantic need -because it feels good Link to post Share on other sites
acepex Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Wow. I've been wondering this for so long! I am a little bit amazed, shocked, somewhat appalled, and just... I don't know! I can't believe it can really feel that way for allos? I guess I never thought about kissing like that in relation to my asexuality. I thought that it just felt like "mashing faces together" for everyone haha You know, without any real feelings whether they're emotional or physical or whatever. But now I know. I have mixed feelings about this new bit of information haha Just glad OP decided to ask the question I never thought to ask ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I always wondered too! Mainly because I've never kissed, so it's easier to over analyze in theory. xD The closest thing I got was my dog that awkwardly licked my nose and that was yucky. I'm sure it's not the same in the slightest. XD Haha, that was so gross nonetheless... Link to post Share on other sites
TophatNTails Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I wonder if those positive feelings while kissing can be triggered by... food for example. Whatever touches the inside of the mouth and the lips, can theoretically also feel good or can it not? Is it an emotion that only people can trigger? Sorry, I'm just a bit confused, since... For me, kissing and holding slippery food in my mouth doesn't actually feel any different (and none of them is good). ^^° Oops, hopefully that was not TMI.Even though I've never really kissed anyone outside my family, I have kinda licked a few wooden spoons in my life (AHM SAYN, AH SWAYAH), and I've gotten a pleasant tickling sensation on the tongue. Plus I guess kissing is designed to be enjoyable, because otherwise I don't think we'd do it as much. Link to post Share on other sites
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