Luke12320 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 So basically I have been dating this girl for 4 years. Things between us have always been good except she has never had the desire to have sex with me. We do have sex I just think it's more to please me than anything. Anyway she cheated on me with another man now she had sex with him but she tells me that she didn't care for it she just did it because it's what he wanted. I've had a feeling for a long while that she was asexual struggling to realise not wanting to accept it she has told me she only sees sex as a means to have a baby and that's it. She knows what she done was wrong but it meant nothing to her. If she is asexual I wonder if she did it because she isn't sure of who she is and wanted to find out I'm worried now because she still doesn't know who she is and I don't want her to have to live like that. Is there anyone who understands her?? Link to post Share on other sites
Luke12320 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I'm also her first boyfriend and first sexual partner. Link to post Share on other sites
VZwolf Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 You need to talk to her and find out her reasons for having sex with this other guy. We can't really give you any answers without knowing a bit more about your girlfriend, this other guy (was he some random guy?) or her position with regards to asexuality (if she's even aware of it). It could be that she is confused and wants to explore her identity more. You'd be best off talking to her about your feelings. You could also give her a slight nudge towards AVEN and let her talk to some of us here if she has any questions or concerns, or needs some guidance. We're very happy to help! If she is asexual and in denial or conflicted, sometimes finding out there're thousands of others like her (like us!) will help her to understand and accept herself more. Wishing you all the best, VZ Link to post Share on other sites
Luke12320 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 This other guy was someone from work it started as friends but she tells me she never had any feelings towards him before or after he suggested sex and she just said yes. I don't think she knows she is asexual but I think because I'm her first she thought it was us but now she realizes something isn't right she says she feels lost and confused and it was different. I don't know of this helps I will speak with her today thankyou Link to post Share on other sites
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