error404usernamenotfound Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Hey :D I am a biromantic gay at the age of 16, i had to just ask to you asexual fellows if you would date a closeted gay? I mean, if that person loves to be with you, would you still refuse to have a relationship with him/her? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 If there was a good reason, and if the attempts to hide it weren't particularly intrusive. I dated a girl who was closeted for good reason, but she went to such ridiculous lengths to keep hidden that I couldn't deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Norgard Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Lots of asexuals like to be in relationships if they are romantic. Your orientation shouldn't be a problem, but relationships with aces tend to need compromise :) Link to post Share on other sites
Skri Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I've been closeted for many years before having the strenght to be open about my sexuality, so I would understand. Ableit, I wouldn't date someone who is still not out, because I am at a point in y life where I can't just stand it. But nothing wrong with it! Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I've been out for about 30 years, so I can't imagine dating someone who isn't. That being said, if anyone wanted to date someone closeted, it's completely up to them. Go with what works for you! ;) If you're the one who's closeted, I'm sure you could find someone understanding enough to respect that, and want a relationship. It's a difficult situation, full of compromises, and hard to manage. But, with the right attitudes, it can be done. Good luck! *Also, it could be the right impetus for coming out. It could give you the confidence to do so.* Link to post Share on other sites
Kappamaki Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Okay, so I'm going out on a limb here because I've never been in this sort of situation, but... I think I'd consider being closeted a definite negative because hiding a relationship sounds not fun at all and there's a definite implication here that I'm a dirty little secret, even if that's unintended. It might seem that way to me partially because I'm trans, and you hear some stories about trans people being unacknowledged by their partners, who consider them a source of shame (even if I've only heard about this in hetero relationships). It's worse the more hiding needs to be done - not mentioning it to their parents in another city, okay, but hiding it from friends? I don't know if I could do that. If I really want to make things work with this person, then maybe. I'd still want to work towards not needing to. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm curious: Why are you asking asexual people instead of homosexuals? There are probably more gay than ace people out there and the "closeted" issue is not connected to asexuality. So why? And I would feel awkward dating a closeted person. But I would not judge anyone who does. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Under the Mountain Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I feel very awkward with PDA so I would date a closeted person because it would decrease the chances of kissing in public or holding hands. If the person decides to come out I obviously wouldn't be against it and would give all the support I can, but I would ask him/her to keep the public part of our relationship as it is, i.e. without PDAs. It's very egoistic, yeah, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I wouldn't reject someone on grounds of not being out, no matter their orientation or preferences, though I can see how the situation could be difficult for the both of us. I can't guarantee I'd keep going because that'd depend on how bad the situation is... I mean, at some point you HAVE to come out if you want to take the relationship further. What about moving in together and/or relocating, would anyone buy that we're "just friends"? Or for that matter, would I want anyone to buy such a blatant excuse? Link to post Share on other sites
Robin L Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 This has nothing to do with whether I'm ace or not. If we are compatible and like each other, then I don't care whether they're closeted to other people. However, if they're deliberately hiding their sexual orientation from me, then there is some serious trust issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen_Bea Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I'd expect him to come out of the closet (to his friends) once we're officially boyfriends. If not, I'd probably break up with him. I wouldn't expect him to come out to family, though I would want to know why he isn't out to them. And I definitely wouldn't date a closeted guy with a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Sancta Simplicitiatas Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I believe that many people have reasons to be closet homosexuals. Sometimes it is more private in a closet. Link to post Share on other sites
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