Asexuality in sexual communities.

[DreadfulBetty]

Hi folks,

Each year I attend an event called UnHoly Harvest it's a thinky kinky long weekend for leather dykes and trans folk. I usually present a work shop and mine are usually hands on. This year I thought I'd do something a little different and talk about Asexuality in highly sexualized communities and spaces. I know that other Ace identified folks attend this event but none of use ever talk about it.

Harvest is a little over a month away and I would be interested in hearing from others here who move in highly sexualized environments.

Currently I work part time in a sex shop and full time in my own work shop producing fetish leather products.

I have a back ground in the escort industry and I'm involved in a full time long term power exchange.

Where does sex intersect your life how do you deal with it?

[SorryNotSorry]

To me sex is like the worst weed you can imagine, constantly trying to invade my garden. I don't care to taste the fruit of this insidious weed, regardless of how delicious some say it is.

[butterflydreams]

It really doesn't. Sex is not a part of my life at all, and I tend to feel weird, upset and awkward if it tries to move in. I'm really thankful for this space actually because it separates trans from the sexual element. Without that separation I might not have been able to navigate myself through that. People have told me that a lot of trans-specific places are very sexual. I know that would be very hard for me, and make it hard to discuss things and explore myself. I know I heard two trans women basically saying asexuality wasn't real and sex was awesome and anyone who had a problem with that needed to be fixed. It was kinda lame to hear them say that.

For me specifically, working through transition has opened doors for me in terms of thinking about my sexuality. When all is said and done, I might not consider myself asexual anymore. Certainly not sex repulsed. I'll probably never be a really sexual person, but maybe much more comfortable with it than I am now.

[DreadfulBetty]

It really doesn't. Sex is not a part of my life at all, and I tend to feel weird, upset and awkward if it tries to move in. I'm really thankful for this space actually because it separates trans from the sexual element. Without that separation I might not have been able to navigate myself through that. People have told me that a lot of trans-specific places are very sexual. I know that would be very hard for me, and make it hard to discuss things and explore myself. I know I heard two trans women basically saying asexuality wasn't real and sex was awesome and anyone who had a problem with that needed to be fixed. It was kinda lame to hear them say that.

For me specifically, working through transition has opened doors for me in terms of thinking about my sexuality. When all is said and done, I might not consider myself asexual anymore. Certainly not sex repulsed. I'll probably never be a really sexual person, but maybe much more comfortable with it than I am now.

Hadley167 Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I also enjoy AVEN as a safe space.

While trying to sort out what was wrong with me ( turns out nothing I'm just ace) I went exploring and found some wonderful communities of people. The womans leather community has been a really solid part of my life for close to a decade now and I know that If I were to get sick or need help there is an army of people who have my back.

In the womans community that I move in love caring and affection are show with a friendly sexual objectification. It's sexual and not at the same time it's just how we say I love you and you are tribe.

So I'm thinking about where else this might happen, I'm sure that it must happen on sports teams and in the military and any where else people have to depend on each other and how us aces are part of that culture or not.